Boobs and Booze? Where Do I Sign?

“By the way, if anyone here is in marketing or advertising…kill yourself.” – Bill Hicks.

According to The New York Daily News:

A German liquor company called G-Spirits is promising customers that “every drop” of its line of alcoholic beverages has been poured on the naked breasts of a certified model — with her approval, of course.

[...]

The booze brand brags that its barrel-aged whisky has been thoroughly splashed on the ample bosom of Alexa Varga, Hungary’s 2012 Playboy Playmate of the Year.

For 139 euros (around $180 plus shipping), says the firm, you will find “its unbelievably versatile flavors range from roasted almonds, dried fruit, and toffee, to honey, vanilla, baked apples and cinnamon. Its finish is harmonic, well-balanced, spicy and long-lasting.”

The company claims that the stock is limited to a mere 5000 bottles and comes with a certificate, including the original signature of the model and the bottle number, which proves that “every single drop” touched the model’s flesh.

FULL STORY HERE.

NSFW promotional video here.

Health cautious would be drinkers will be delighted to discover that, according to the company’s two founders, “we pay high attention to a hygienic filling process; furthermore, medical personnel are present to check it”.

The whole scheme calls to mind a famous routine by the late, Bill Hicks, featured in his excellent Relentless DVD (recorded 20 years ago):

Here is the commercial they’d like to do, I guarantee you. We may see this one day yet but this is the ultimate television commercial they want to do. Here’s the woman’s face, beautiful. Camera pulls back, naked breast. Camera pulls back, she’s totally naked. Legs apart. Two fingers right here, and it just says: “Drink Coke.” Now I don’t know the connection but I’m drinking lots of fucking Coke.

Relentless can be purchased from Sacred Cow.

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20 Responses to Boobs and Booze? Where Do I Sign?

  1. Matt Staggs October 4, 2012 at 4:32 pm #

    Anyone know if they run this YouTube video on the Chinese Sperm Extractor machines?

  2. Matt Staggs October 4, 2012 at 4:32 pm #

    Anyone know if they run this YouTube video on the Chinese Sperm Extractor machines?

  3. Zenc October 4, 2012 at 4:36 pm #

    Far more fun to do the pouring yourself, even if it may cost more in some instances.

  4. Zenc October 4, 2012 at 4:36 pm #

    Far more fun to do the pouring yourself, even if it may cost more in some instances.

    • Calypso_1 October 4, 2012 at 5:24 pm #

      I know a few places in the French Quarter where this is standard practice ; )

      • Zenc October 4, 2012 at 9:08 pm #

        Instead of waiting for you guys to wander near Tampa to have dinner or a drink with you, perhaps we should all arrange to meet at one of the places you’re talking about.

        I’m only about 6 hours from New Orleans…

        Maybe we can even talk Matt Staggs into putting it all on the Disinfo Corporate card.
        ;)

      • Zenc October 4, 2012 at 9:08 pm #

        Instead of waiting for you guys to wander near Tampa to have dinner or a drink with you, perhaps we should all arrange to meet at one of the places you’re talking about.

        I’m only about 6 hours from New Orleans…

        Maybe we can even talk Matt Staggs into putting it all on the Disinfo Corporate card.
        ;)

        • Matt Staggs October 4, 2012 at 10:01 pm #

           I’m about 4 hours from New Orleans. Road trip?

        • Matt Staggs October 4, 2012 at 10:01 pm #

           I’m about 4 hours from New Orleans. Road trip?

          • Zenc October 4, 2012 at 10:33 pm #

            I’m game for that.

        • Calypso_1 October 6, 2012 at 12:04 am #

          Disinfocon Dixie Decadence Style

        • Calypso_1 October 6, 2012 at 12:04 am #

          Disinfocon Dixie Decadence Style

  5. lifobryan October 4, 2012 at 4:54 pm #

    They’d spill less beer if they poured it into the other end of the tit.

  6. lifobryan October 4, 2012 at 4:54 pm #

    They’d spill less beer if they poured it into the other end of the tit.

  7. Leo Rothstein, Esq. October 4, 2012 at 6:41 pm #

    Good timing, Disinfo!  By my calculations, if you’d waited so much as 1 week longer to re-use the “Breasts” tag, it’d have fallen back into public domain!

    • Matt Staggs October 4, 2012 at 10:03 pm #

       Did the mean ol’ boobies do something bad to you? It’s okay. We’ll listen.

  8. Conspiracy Carrot October 4, 2012 at 8:17 pm #

    In related news: My brand of Junk Water isn’t doing as well as I had hoped.

  9. Conspiracy Carrot October 4, 2012 at 8:17 pm #

    In related news: My brand of Junk Water isn’t doing as well as I had hoped.

  10. BuzzCoastin October 4, 2012 at 8:24 pm #

    if Germans drive to the Czech Republic
    they can get the booze and the girl for €139

  11. BuzzCoastin October 4, 2012 at 8:24 pm #

    if Germans drive to the Czech Republic
    they can get the booze and the girl for €139

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