“By the way, if anyone here is in marketing or advertising…kill yourself.” – Bill Hicks.
According to The New York Daily News:
A German liquor company called G-Spirits is promising customers that “every drop” of its line of alcoholic beverages has been poured on the naked breasts of a certified model — with her approval, of course.
[...]
The booze brand brags that its barrel-aged whisky has been thoroughly splashed on the ample bosom of Alexa Varga, Hungary’s 2012 Playboy Playmate of the Year.
For 139 euros (around $180 plus shipping), says the firm, you will find “its unbelievably versatile flavors range from roasted almonds, dried fruit, and toffee, to honey, vanilla, baked apples and cinnamon. Its finish is harmonic, well-balanced, spicy and long-lasting.”
The company claims that the stock is limited to a mere 5000 bottles and comes with a certificate, including the original signature of the model and the bottle number, which proves that “every single drop” touched the model’s flesh.
Health cautious would be drinkers will be delighted to discover that, according to the company’s two founders, “we pay high attention to a hygienic filling process; furthermore, medical personnel are present to check it”.
The whole scheme calls to mind a famous routine by the late, Bill Hicks, featured in his excellent Relentless DVD (recorded 20 years ago):
Here is the commercial they’d like to do, I guarantee you. We may see this one day yet but this is the ultimate television commercial they want to do. Here’s the woman’s face, beautiful. Camera pulls back, naked breast. Camera pulls back, she’s totally naked. Legs apart. Two fingers right here, and it just says: “Drink Coke.” Now I don’t know the connection but I’m drinking lots of fucking Coke.
