Nicolas Cage Continues Downward Slide by Starring in Christian Apocalypse Movie

According to Badass Digest’s Devin Faraci, Nicolas Cage is in talks to star in a remake of Left Behind, the first novel in a series depicting a group of people “left behind” after the Christian Rapture occurs. Instead of finally enjoying a little peace and quiet like most of us would, the characters in the novel convert to Christianity and form a paramilitary religious organization called “Tribulation Force”. The novels, written by Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins, were immensely popular among fundamentalist Christians for some time, and have already spawned a few movies, including a straight to video take on Left Behind starring banana-loving moonbat Kirk Cameron. They have also inspired a video game and even a series of children’s books about the “Young Trib Force”. (I’m presuming that the God-botherers behind the books don’t know that “trib” has a different meaning in the secular world.)

Nicolas Cage starring in a Christian apocalyptic movie about the rapture may be more unintentional hilarity than the world can withstand at one time. Maybe the end is coming at last…to Cage’s career.

Here’s a fantastically kitschy scene of the Rapture from the first Left Behind film. Guess those passengers unlucky enough to be in a plane piloted by a Christian get to die a horrific death and go straight to Hell courtesy of the Lord’s infinite mercy. No second chance – no “tribbing” in the Trib Force – for them.

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  • “Big” Richard Johnson

    This is why heretics shouldn’t be allowed to make movies.

  • “Big” Richard Johnson

    This is why heretics shouldn’t be allowed to make movies.

  • http://www.sacredgeometryinternational.com/ Camron Wiltshire

    I once saw a lesbian porno called “Sweet Trib’ulations Holy Matrimoany”. Kirk Cameron’s disowned sister produced. None of this is true. Oh shit I’m getting raptured, false alarm it was an alien.

  • http://www.sacredgeometryinternational.com/ Camron Wiltshire

    I once saw a lesbian porno called “Sweet Trib’ulations Holy Matrimoany”. Kirk Cameron’s disowned sister produced. None of this is true. Oh shit I’m getting raptured, false alarm it was an alien.

    • Calypso_1

      My God, you’re manifesting a sense of humor. : }

    • Calypso_1

      My God, you’re manifesting a sense of humor. : }

      • http://www.sacredgeometryinternational.com/ Camron Wiltshire

        I was baptized by the banana bit
        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2z-OLG0KyR4

      • http://www.sacredgeometryinternational.com/ Camron Wiltshire

        I was baptized by the banana bit
        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2z-OLG0KyR4

        • Calypso_1

          …ease of entry.

          well you really can’t argue w/ god’s perfect creation.
          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UselwJqO66I&t=1m6s

        • Calypso_1

          …ease of entry.

          well you really can’t argue w/ god’s perfect creation.
          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UselwJqO66I&t=1m6s

          • http://www.sacredgeometryinternational.com/ Camron Wiltshire

            This is the ending of Left Behind right? Where God smites everyone, devolving them to pre original sin monkeys, forced to wait for another monolithic herald of evolution to cum…. Amazing portrayal of the monkey by Kirk Cameron I must add. Utterly convincing. Definitely went full retard though. Here you can see Anna Nicole Smith’s own C.I.A handlers judging her fitness for the role.
            http://youtu.be/dOIXiBGYj4w?t=2m22s
            She was in the running but was “Raptured” by the Illuminati.

          • http://www.sacredgeometryinternational.com/ Camron Wiltshire

            This is the ending of Left Behind right? Where God smites everyone, devolving them to pre original sin monkeys, forced to wait for another monolithic herald of evolution to cum…. Amazing portrayal of the monkey by Kirk Cameron I must add. Utterly convincing. Definitely went full retard though. Here you can see Anna Nicole Smith’s own C.I.A handlers judging her fitness for the role.
            http://youtu.be/dOIXiBGYj4w?t=2m22s
            She was in the running but was “Raptured” by the Illuminati.

          • Calypso_1

            Yes I can see it. The arrival of a New Mosaic/Osiric Monolith – an epic circle jerk of Hava nagila dancing proto-hominids waving their wands to the Nibiru-ites gold mongers.

            [As to ANS...I don't typically follow pop media so I had never seen this. It is amazing to see the child's awareness & rationality trying to rectify the situation.]

          • Calypso_1

            Yes I can see it. The arrival of a New Mosaic/Osiric Monolith – an epic circle jerk of Hava nagila dancing proto-hominids waving their wands to the Nibiru-ites gold mongers.

            [As to ANS...I don't typically follow pop media so I had never seen this. It is amazing to see the child's awareness & rationality trying to rectify the situation.]

          • http://www.sacredgeometryinternational.com/ Camron Wiltshire

            Jerkin for Jesus! Poor kid, yeah that ANS footage is very strange indeed.

          • http://www.sacredgeometryinternational.com/ Camron Wiltshire

            Jerkin for Jesus! Poor kid, yeah that ANS footage is very strange indeed.

          • Calypso_1

            I do believe the early church had that form of praise & worship already covered.
            http://disinfo.com/2011/12/orgies-for-jesus/

  • Heath

    Just to see Kirk and Nicolas scissor is worth the price of admission. Said the sick fuck who conjured that image..

  • Heath

    Just to see Kirk and Nicolas scissor is worth the price of admission. Said the sick fuck who conjured that image..

  • Daniel Reasor

    I’d go see it if Cage was playing Ghost Rider.

  • Daniel Reasor

    I’d go see it if Cage was playing Ghost Rider.

  • kowalityjesus

    When you take the idea of ‘the rapture’ to its logical conclusion, it does seem quite absurd. It is most likely beyond the scope of our comprehension, and not to be speculated upon, Nicholas Cage.

  • kowalityjesus

    When you take the idea of ‘the rapture’ to its logical conclusion, it does seem quite absurd. It is most likely beyond the scope of our comprehension, and not to be speculated upon, Nicholas Cage.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=617351032 Sandra Ordonez

    i love how they make it a point to focus onto a skih. This is such crap. I can’t believe he is appearing in this movie.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=617351032 Sandra Ordonez

    i love how they make it a point to focus onto a skih. This is such crap. I can’t believe he is appearing in this movie.

  • Hadrian999

    why not, it isn’t like cage has anything resembling a reputation any more

  • Hadrian999

    why not, it isn’t like cage has anything resembling a reputation any more

  • Kevin Leonard

    The pilot looks a little bit like Mitt Romney

  • Kevin Leonard

    The pilot looks a little bit like Mitt Romney

  • Bruteloop

    Was it Hitchcock who likened actors to cattle. They’re certainly whores. After all, starting out they’d sell their mother to get a cereal commercial. Of course, when they make it we are supposed to take their opinions seriously. Burn Hollywood Burn.

  • Bruteloop

    Was it Hitchcock who likened actors to cattle. They’re certainly whores. After all, starting out they’d sell their mother to get a cereal commercial. Of course, when they make it we are supposed to take their opinions seriously. Burn Hollywood Burn.

  • Alex

    This is exciting news! Cage is only one racist rant away from pulling a perfect Gibson.

    • Matt Staggs

      You never go Full Gibson!

      • http://www.sacredgeometryinternational.com/ Camron Wiltshire

        Hahaha

  • http://twitter.com/TedHeistman Ted Heistman

    I heard he went Bankrupt. I still love “Adaption” though and “raising Arizona”

  • http://twitter.com/TedHeistman Ted Heistman

    I heard he went Bankrupt. I still love “Adaption” though and “raising Arizona”

    • Matt Staggs

      Both great flicks. I watch Raising Arizona EVERY time it comes on.

  • David Howe

    When the Rapture comes, can I have your airplane?

  • todd southern

    The rapture is the reason why Christians should not be allowed to hold any position or operate any vehicle where their sudden absence will result in harm or injury to non-believers. If for no other reason than to ensure the Christians do not violate a commandment that might disqualify them from going to Heaven.

    • Kev Mac

      Once your born again of the spirit, you can not be disqualified, sorry.

  • alang

    There will be no atheists in hell!

    • Kev Mac

      He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. John 3:18

  • Karen

    The rapture will happen whether people believe it or not. I know it is something that you only see in the movies because people do not disappear in every day life. It is found in the Bible. So is the New World Order that past Presidents have talked about and our current President is working on. It is ready to emerge but first Jesus will return in the rapture to snatch His followers to heaven. The entire scenario about the upcoming war with Israel and the nations is also found in Ezekiel 38. We already see tensions in the Middle East. If you’ve never believed in the Bible, now is the time to believe. All you have to do is watch the news and read the Bible to see that things go hand in hand. Everything in Matthew 24 is happening now in our world. These are all signs that point to Jesus’ 2nd coming to earth to set up His Kingdom. First, the rapture will take place where millions of people all over the world will be snatched up to heaven.

    1 Thessalonians 4:16-18

    New International Version (NIV)

    16 For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. 17 After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. 18 Therefore encourage one another with these words.

    Sadly, those who heard and didn’t believe, will be astonished when this event happens. According to the Bible, it will be very soon because the New World Order is about to take over. First, Jesus will return. Don’t be left behind. Choose Jesus now. He is the only way to heaven. Confess your sins and make Him Lord of your life before it’s too late. Otherwise, one day soon, you will remember this conversation.

  • Karen

    The clip above is nothing compared to the real chaos that will be going on. I am sorry for all those left behind. I really am. http://voices.yahoo.com/millions-people-missing-jesus-christ-has-returned-5003316.html?cat=34

  • Penny Shreve

    No “second chance?” Really? God has been sounding the alarm since the fall of mankind. You’ve been given a million chances to believe in the death, burial and resurrection of His son Jesus Christ. With every breath, you choose your destiny.

    • Kev Mac

      Matthew 24:13 “But he that shall endure (THE TRIBULATION) unto the end, the same shall be saved. 14 And this gospel of the kingdom shall be preached in all the world for a witness unto all nations; and then shall the end come.” …… They will have another chance, but like it says, “he (the ones that will only wake up after the rapture) will have to endure to the end to be saved. Thank God were already saved

  • Penny Shreve

    And besides…Nicholas Cage is smart…this film will be a huge money-maker. Unless those of us who are believers are raptured before it comes out.

    • Kev Mac

      The rapture is probably going to happen before this movies comes out, and then they will all be running to see it.