Here’s How to Know if Your Hotel Guest is a Terrorist

Via Public Intelligence:

Courtesy of our noble protectors at the Department of Homeland Security comes this handy list of pointers that you can use to tell if a hotel guest is a terrorist. Here’s an excerpt:

  • Extending departure dates one day at a time for prolonged periods.
  • Refusal of housekeeping services for extended periods.
  • Extended stays with little baggage or unpacked luggage.
  • Access or attempted access to areas of the hotel normally restricted to staff.
  • Use of cash for large transactions or a credit card in someone else’s name.

Want to know more? Of course you do – you’re probably a terrorist and you didn’t even know it!

Click here.


  • InfvoCuernos

    oddly enough, also how to spot a prostitute using your hotel. Coincidence? hmmmm

    • Yuri Gervasii

      Ha ha…. this list perfectly describes every “spouse” that uses a hotel room to cheat on their wife or husband! Damn, the show “Cheaters” should be directing homeland idiocracy !

  • Anarchy Pony

    I love this meme of the use of cash meaning you must be a terrorist.

  • Malk

    Knowing that they haven’t caught a single “terrorist” in their long shitty decade, why would anyone assume they know what the fuck they are even looking for.

    • BuzzCoastin

      not true
      they catch every terrorist they set-up
      and besides
      they’re not really trying to catch terrorists
      they are trying to insure they have a snitches that will keep the herd in line

  • BuzzCoastin

    the nice thing about published lists like this
    is that clues-in real terrorist on how to cover their actions
    & gives an excuse for people to snitch on strangers

    without the ability to invade Der Homeland
    the most terrorists can do is take out the living dead & their buildings

  • Dan Muench

    I was redirected here from ‘How To Tell if Your Hotel Guest is a CIA Agent’.

  • DrDavidKelly

    Either that or you have Raoul Duke staying with …

  • Bluebird_of_Fastidiousness

    Also people that wear eyeglasses. If you see something, say something. If you can’t see something, you’re probably a terrorist.

  • BrianApocalypse

    I’ve fulfilled most of these criteria on at least a couple of hotel stays! Now I’m aware of the list, I’ll just make up some cover story about being a mystery hotel inspector or something.