Even Strippers Have Infomercials

By on December 9, 2012 in News 9

Are you a stripper? Opera singer turned exotic dancer (Jesus, I think that’s the most depressing sentence I’ve ever written) Jennifer McCumber is ready to tell you how to lapdance your way to financial freedom. Just watch this low-quality, high-pressure infommercial to learn more.

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  • http://www.ContraControl.com/ Zenc

    “How-To-Strip.com
    Today’s Dancers. Tomorrow’s Leaders.”

    Mmmhmmm.

  • BuzzCoastin

    sound bizmess advice for the professional stripper
    whom, it turns out
    have the exact same goals as Tomorrow’s Leaders
    more lap dances, more trips to the Champagne Room &
    satisfied customers who ask for you by name

  • http://twitter.com/TedHeistman Ted Heistman

    This is my favorite stripper: http://mollycrabapple.com/

    She stripped to put herself through school and then created “Dr. Sketchy’s anti-Art school” which combines stripping and Life Drawing. So tell me would you rather sketch a hot stripper or a fat 50 year old house wife in Life Drawing class? I chose the former.

    • http://www.facebook.com/prustage Phil Rustage

      Depends on why you are going to life drawing class. If you are going to learn technique and create interesting drawings then the fat 50 yr old is a better bet: much more challenging. If you are just going to ogle naked women then why not just go to a strip show in the first place?

      • http://twitter.com/TedHeistman Ted Heistman

        Actually. Hot looking naked women hold my interest more and cause me to develop more skill. The models are more like Burlesque performers than your average stripper. More artsy. I thought it was a lot of fun. Your mileage may vary.

  • serpentlove

    Zombie stripper apocalypse… You can’t kill them because they’re already dead.

  • http://www.facebook.com/johnnylemuria Johnny Occupy Lemuria

    Dear Matt: There is nothing sad about someone finding a career they like better. You aren’t better than strippers, so please stop acting like you are.

    • Matt Staggs

      Johnny,
      So you like strippers. That’s fine, but don’t turn your love of the exotic dancing game into some kind of lesson about egalitarianism for me. Googling your name turns up oodles of comments about the sex industry. Wherever anyone dares to mention that there might be something askew about the stripping scene you pop up to defend it as a fine option for a woman to pursue. That’s *SO* noble of you! Bet the girls down at the club really appreciate Johnny Lemuria: “Ladies, every man loves a lapdance, but no one really understands the cause like Johnny Lemuria. Look, he wore his sweat pants again! We love you Johnny! You understand us, not like those other guys.” Don’t you dare try to serve me this “women find a career they like better” simplification of sex work. I’m sure that it’s of great comfort to you, but I’m not that stupid, nor am I easily browbeaten by the likes of you. I stand by every word: An opera singer becoming a stripper depresses the hell out of me, and that video is about on the same level as most of the real estate infommercials I see late at night. If you’re not comfortable out here in the real world where you can’t pay people to like you then you can hop back in your “Pleasure Saucer” (Yeah, I’ve seen your video on strip-club etiquette. Solid stuff, buddy.) and cruise right on down to the club. Maybe you’ll get there on time to take advantage of the hot wing and two for one well drink special.

  • Noah Way

    No nipples, not even some decent cleavage. What a disappointment.