Five More Possibly Upcoming Apocalypses To Provoke Panic

We may have dodged a bullet with the end of the Mayan long count calendar, but we’re not out of the woods yet. Via Addicting Info, several other compelling ancient doomsday prophesies may be approaching, including the Norse Ragnarök, Nostradamus’ Last Days,  the Hindu Kali Yuga, and even the Zoroastrian apocalypse:

Yes, they have one, too. It is supposed to occur 3000 years after Zoroaster was born but since there is some dispute about that, who knows when it will happen? The whole thing will begin when the sun and moon are no longer seen and a long, dark winter kicks in. The usual fading of morality and religious values and such will darken our doorstep.

Then a big demon will break out of the cavern its been held trapped in and it will eat 1/3 of the world’s population. Then a virgin will bathe in a lake in which the long-ago ejaculated seed of Zoroaster is still alive and she’ll get pregnant and give birth to the savior figure, Saoshyant. He will raise the dead, pass judgement, purge every one of evil and everyone will help him vanquish the forces of evil. Then the Earth will become Heaven and everyone will live happily ever after.

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  • http://www.ContraControl.com/ Zenc

    Whew!

    I was worried that things might get a little boring around here if no one thought the end of the world was nigh.

    Plus, you’d be amazed by all the cool stuff you can get on MMORGs from people who think we’re close to a global “Game Over”.

    We really need to flog these five prophecies because I’m getting low on plat.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_JR6QMHI5D3L6Z4JJBSAKO4KJBE brock

    We’ll know the end of the world is imminent when everyone stops worrying about the end of the world.

    • Matt Staggs

      “No man knows the day or the hour.”

  • honu

    Yeah, about the Mayan doomsday scenario…I’m pretty tired of the disinformation regarding that. Hate to break it to y’all but the Maya NEVER PREDICTED THE END OF THE WORLD. Period, no ifs ands or buts. The media, per usual, drummed up a fear based straw man for everyone who doesn’t do their homework on a subject to believe in. Of course it’s sensationalistic and whammo…the Maya are suddenly harbingers of doom. Not that anyone would care at this point but reading Jenkins’ Maya Cosmogenesis 2012 gives a pretty good overall to the Maya’s cosmology and it never spoke of end times. The calendar ends but a new cycle begins. So enough of the blame and finger pointing as a way for materialists and other haters to shout down the Maya as just another failed group of soothsayers. The Mayan civilization and their science deserve far more respect than you cynics give them.