Lennart Boecken: Teen Preacher or Master Troll?

You know you YouTube is: You watch one suggested video, and then another, and soon you’re stuck in some kind of pseudo-absurdist labyrinth of banned commercials, foreign language soap operas, and video blogs that might as well be broadcasting from the dark side of the moon. That’s where I discovered Lennart Boecken, a spotty-faced, flag-loving Christian fundamentalist teen whose rants against atheism, Islam and education are delivered in an obsessive, single-minded tone that only a virginal teen boy can produce.

Boecken’s “I’ve just about run out of patience with you simple-minded heathens” tone is, I imagine, supposed to frighten his viewers into adopting the boy’s apocalyptic strain of Christianity, but one gets the feeling that he could just as easily be an overzealous Playstation fan railing against XBOX gamers. In essence, it’s sexual repression channeled into a convenient source. It’ll last only as long as he doesn’t find a girlfriend willing to expand his horizons. (To quote Steven Tyler of Aerosmith, “You ain’t seen nothin’ til you’re down on a muffin, then you’re sure to be a-changin’ your ways.”)

For now, though, Boecken is here to frighten the masses into steering clear of the evils of atheism, Islam and…surprise…education. In one video, Boecken points out the futility of becoming a doctor when the Kingdom of God needs building. I hope he reconsiders this the next time he has a bone that needs setting or an appendix to be removed.

There is the possibility that Boecken is a troll, and a damned good one at that. Googling his name produces some solid Fundamentalist bona fides (a Scribd account with uploads of Anti-Islamic literature, an “Islam is Death” Twitter account, and several comments on Atheist forums), but it also produces something else: a New Orleans Times-Picayune feature from 2007 on a local school hoping to host Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling. Among those quoted in the piece is sixth-grader Lennart Boecken:

“I’ve read one through six twice, ” said sixth-grader Lennart with the authority of a devoted fan. “The sixth one has a missing cover, though.”

This might be a different Lennart Boecken. I have no way of knowing for sure.  If it is, he could be a brilliant troll, a 4CHAN Andy Kaufman who can’t cover this one track. If he is, then I say well played. Good work. My gut feeling, though, is that he is sincere in his beliefs, or at least as sincere as a repressed, angry teen boy can be. He (or more likely his family) may have “repented” against the evils of Harry Potter and the secular world. Fast forward five years later and you’ve got a pissed off sixteen year-old with not a whole lot to do besides read the Bible and shout at the (clearly more fun) world just beyond the computer screen.

  • Anarchy Pony

    If only they were all just trolls…

  • http://twitter.com/TedHeistman Ted Heistman

    Isn’t that how Sam Kinison started out? (spell checker thought maybe I meant ‘onionskin’)

    • Matt Staggs

      Yes, it is. He was a fire and brimstone preacher before he went all…fire and brimstone! :)

  • David Howe

    I think of Epistemic Closure. He’s running Interference on his own aggression and ignorance AHEAD of time.

    • http://twitter.com/TedHeistman Ted Heistman

      I see pain in his eyes when he mentions preaching the gospel. Like he really wants to believe it but has doubts.

      Here is a poem Nietzsche wrote when he was a boy:

      “Thou hast called me:
      Lord, I hasten to thy throne and there remain.
      Blazing with love to thy compassionate eyes
      Gaze sorrowfully into my heart:
      Lord, I come.

      I was lost, perplexed and dejected,
      Destined for Hell and torment.
      But I saw thee from afar,
      And thy glance, intense with life,
      Lighted constantly upon me:
      Now I come gladly to thee.

      I am filled with horror at the dark power of sin,
      And I cannot look back.
      I must not lose thee,
      At night, terrified and oppressed, I see thee,
      I see thee and I cannot let thee go.

      Thou art so gentle, true and kind,
      So loving, thou dear Saviour of sinners!
      Appease my longing,
      Let my soul and my thoughts rest in thy love
      And remain forever with thee.”

      http://www.patheos.com/blogs/scriptorium/2006/03/nietzsche-love-poems-to-jesus/

      This kid’s probably an Atheist in the making.

      • kowalityjesus

        that is fascinating… you know the Devil places a bounty on your head when you get too close to God. At this point in his life, Nietzsche may have been destined either for sainthood or superlative apostasy.

        • Calypso_1

          Perhaps not, his father was a Lutheran preacher and that ‘poem’ is wholly consistent with what one finds in reformation era prayer books.

          • kowalityjesus

            One of the foremost holes in my cognizance of reality is the question: wherefore doth God obfuscate his presence to so many? I relegate it to the category “knowledge that I am either not worthy to know, or that would probably ruin my life if I did.”

            While we are talking about Nietzsche, I have to mention to you a passage that brought you to mind when reading: “Every more noble spirit and taste selects its audience when it wishes to communicate itself; and choosing them, it at the same time erects barriers against ‘the others.’ All the more subtle laws of any style have their origin at this point: they at the same time keep away, create a distance, forbid ‘entrance,’ understanding, as said above–while they open the ears of those whose ears are related to ours.”

            Pardon me if I resemble a shameless sycophant, furthermore if I have lent any self-consciousness to your art.

          • Calypso_1

            No pardon need be granted, as none was necessary. What some might ill bear as sycophancy or pretense is little more than frolic within a union of conscious egoism.

            The passage was not one ready to my memory, so thank you. The self-consciousness to which you refer is one that does indeed exist and stays within hand.

            As to its art, I would not deny that there are underlying connections to many strata of perception and skills well-plied upon the path of a secret journeyman, however to claim such high manifestations in this particular arena, I would not announce that my efforts, though perhaps at time intent and dreaming, attain to such a level.

            Your first thought, perhaps, we will return to in time.

  • DeepCough

    I think he’s “Christian trolling” (known commonly as “preaching”).

  • lifobryan

    Yikes. I think I knew this kid. Or was this kid. Or was friends with him. Long before he was born. I grew up in a patriotic fundy church, and like this kid, took it very seriously. An insular environment filled with adults and peers, all fearful of “the world” outside of the church (1 John 2;15).

    At that time I had no neuro-semantic capacity to juggle faith, doubt, belief, disbelief, etc. No real education, just indoctrination.

    In fact, I was even the ‘chaplain’ of my senior class, in the backwoods fundy christian school that I attended – and in that role, had to “preach” to my classmates. i remember just parroting the lines we all heard in church & chapel services – but as a good-enough actor, could make it sound convincing. Even so, I was aware that I didn’t fully buy it. I just thought that as I grew older, and studied more Bible, that I’d eventually “get it.”

    Just the opposite occurred .. the more I learned, the less I believed. And I suspect that this kid will follow a similar path. The real vocal ones often do. They yammer mostly to convince themselves. I know, I was there.

    In retrospect, I realize the most intense “spiritual” experiences I had as a young’un were more connected to the Star Wars & Indiana Jones movies that I’d sneak out to see, than to anything I learned or parroted in the church.

    • Anarchy Pony

      We must all learn to walk the path of the reformed Jedi order under Master Skywalker.

  • Laugh You Bastards

    Yes, Satan’s greatest lie was education.

    • Calypso_1

      …that forbidden fruit of knowledge, mmmmm.

  • echar

    poor kid

  • kowalityjesus

    The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool – Shakespeare

    I suppose I can’t say that this kid is wise, but perhaps naively perspicacious on the macrocosmic continuum of human understanding.

  • Despicable Yeti

    Screw doctors! We need more jeebus knightz.

  • Calypso_1

    Young Mr. Patriot needs to ask Jesus how to properly display a flag (unless of course we now have further evidence of his subtle mad troll skillz).

    • “Big” Richard Johnson

      It’s a common mistake among ‘Murica loving rednecks. I do so wish they would skim the Flag Code.

      • Calypso_1

        …like before they put on ol’Glory boxer shorts and such?

  • “Big” Richard Johnson

    If I’ve learned one thing from perusing Youtube’s crop of lunatics, perverts, and idiots it’s that yes these people are indeed real.

  • http://twitter.com/polfilmblog Occupy Wear

    “…but honestly, God just wants you to be humble and use you.”

    Thank you, religious nut boy. By the way, if you don’t give a damn about history, and all that other “education” crap, then why the need to pose in front of a flag? Certainly Jesus didn’t wave the red white and blue thing around?

    Or did he, as he rode a dinosaur to Jerusalem, while firing his AK? Hallelujah. Sing the praises.

    • http://www.facebook.com/11Chariots J.M Von Kotterhausen

      refer to above comment

  • http://www.facebook.com/11Chariots J.M Von Kotterhausen

    On “Defending the Kid”

    Matt – here’s the thing. The kid has an opinion he’s pouring out from his
    heart. Sure, not a lot of it is “dead on”, even as a
    message of who Christ actually is. Yet, I noticed you throw
    “flag-loving”, into your derogatory composition about him.
    This is because, you’re the type of person, who going out on a limjb
    and against the grain is not a heroic action, and matching the flag
    with a differing view than yours is clearly a threat to you…as in,
    in your heart, the motive is that this isn’t “our country”,
    but you have yours, and he has his, and once again – he represents
    the threat to the safety and comfort of your nation. Also, you say he
    could easily be a ” Playstation
    fan railing against XBOX gamers”, as though Christ is simply an
    alternative gaming platform.

    Obviously, you are the type who likes to play games with people, and his is the
    competition to your “divine corporation product line”
    preference. S, how can someone like you really make a comment about
    God, much less someone else whose trying to live for Him (or probably
    a she-he, if existant at all in your mind), without yourself being
    the ultimate troll with a public platform to prove how figured out
    and sorted you are to “cookie cutter” versions of
    “enlightened globalist-humping” minds? Myself a lover of
    theoretical sciences, what he says about education as an idol and
    enemy is sort of awkward and prepubescence. If you hadn’t
    already swept your own childhood wonder under the carpet, you would
    realize that’s what he IS. However, isn’t all of you who rant and
    rrave altogether as a flock of squawking geese about how “Big
    Pharm” is out to screw everyone and selling us poisons? And, the
    generally accepted conspiracy body, states that they are not trying
    to heal anyone, but keep them returning in neurotic (etc.)
    dependencies, all the while setting up franchises?

    So, how can rag on him if in his own awkward way of making an attempt to
    care about the souls of other kids, while in your cleverness, you
    prove your own self as an abasement thereof. You were always the kid
    who grew up promising to give the wedgies to a world you resented,
    because you yourself grew up a victim, so now you are the strong one
    - and what do you do with it? Prove how weak you at the core of your
    source of light and greater thought capability, the version of
    integrity you share with us all is by bullying this awkward christian
    kid with your newfound soap box – a cart you stand on that is
    usually telling, in the sense that it is empty, turned upside down,
    and the effective astringent agent is completely absent, reflecting
    the depth of your ineffectual opinion of him.

    This whole entry is not at all surprising in the long run of your “career”
    as a journalist voice; and not at all surprising as an “alternative”
    news reporter, I can tell by your quotes endorsing the “cool kids”
    of Aerosmith; getting laid is more important to you than truth,
    therby reinforcing your willingness and giddy glee to tear this kid
    apart behind a front of being “hip, edgy, and cool” – you’re
    really just exposing yourself, as a very small mind, and reflecting
    as such on the rest of the staff – who may or may not be patting
    you on the back and taking you out to lunch for punching another
    potential “future teabagger of America” in the face. It’s not
    that I started this wanting to “rag out” on you, either. However,
    being a very observant person, I know what this kid is getting at –
    all the minds like yours that worship their reflections as how open
    and uniquely they stand out as packed with institutionalized quality
    and deep life experiences. If you’re so experienced, why take this
    kid over your proverbial knee for a spaking, shouldn’t all your
    worldly travels have brought you to a level of being above that. You
    see, this article is a great mirror for you to see how you have
    transcended to achieve – NOTHING! My congrats, I hope you keep this
    article and reply up, because in the future, you may find that
    because of this article, indirectly and without his knowledge this
    kid…took you to school. Then again, if he knew about my reply, he
    might be the type to pat you on the back and show some compassion,
    while all your colleagues are laughing about the egg on your face and
    that pretty red tint just in time for Cristmas. I’m not “settling
    the score here, but passing you the ball, and telling you as a player
    “it’s time to step it up – maybe graduate from third string news
    articles.” Peace, have a safe holidays, Matt.

  • http://www.facebook.com/11Chariots J.M Von Kotterhausen

    Matt
    - here’s the thing. The kid has an opinion he’s pouring out from his
    heart. Sure, not a lot of it is “dead on”, even as a
    message of who Christ actually is. Yet, I noticed you throw
    “flag-loving”, into your derogatory composition about him.
    This is because, you’re the type of person, who going out on a limjb
    and against the grain is not a heroic action, and matching the flag
    with a differing view than yours is clearly a threat to you…as in,
    in your heart, the motive is that this isn’t “our country”,
    but you have yours, and he has his, and once again – he represents
    the threat to the safety and comfort of your nation. Also, you say he
    could easily be a ” Playstation
    fan railing against XBOX gamers”, as though Christ is simply an
    alternative gaming platform.

    Obviously,
    you are the type who likes to play games with people, and his is the
    competition to your “divine corporation product line”
    preference. S, how can someone like you really make a comment about
    God, much less someone else whose trying to live for Him (or probably
    a she-he, if existant at all in your mind), without yourself being
    the ultimate troll with a public platform to prove how figured out
    and sorted you are to “cookie cutter” versions of
    “enlightened globalist-humping” minds? Myself a lover of
    theoretical sciences, what he says about education as an idol and
    enemy is sort of awkward and prepubescence. If you hadn’t
    already swept your own childhood wonder under the carpet, you would
    realize that’s what he IS. However, isn’t all of you who rant and
    rrave altogether as a flock of squawking geese about how “Big
    Pharm” is out to screw everyone and selling us poisons? And, the
    generally accepted conspiracy body, states that they are not trying
    to heal anyone, but keep them returning in neurotic (etc.)
    dependencies, all the while setting up franchises?

    So,
    how can rag on him if in his own awkward way of making an attempt to
    care about the souls of other kids, while in your cleverness, you
    prove your own self as an abasement thereof. You were always the kid
    who grew up promising to give the wedgies to a world you resented,
    because you yourself grew up a victim, so now you are the strong one
    - and what do you do with it? Prove how weak you at the core of your
    source of light and greater thought capability, the version of
    integrity you share with us all is by bullying this awkward christian
    kid with your newfound soap box – a cart you stand on that is
    usually telling, in the sense that it is empty, turned upside down,
    and the effective astringent agent is completely absent, reflecting
    the depth of your ineffectual opinion of him.

    This
    whole entry is not at all surprising in the long run of your “career”
    as a journalist voice; and not at all surprising as an “alternative”
    news reporter, I can tell by your quotes endorsing the “cool kids”
    of Aerosmith; getting laid is more important to you than truth,
    therby reinforcing your willingness and giddy glee to tear this kid
    apart behind a front of being “hip, edgy, and cool” – you’re
    really just exposing yourself, as a very small mind, and reflecting
    as such on the rest of the staff – who may or may not be patting
    you on the back and taking you out to lunch for punching another
    potential “future teabagger of America” in the face. It’s not
    that I started this wanting to “rag out” on you, either. However,
    being a very observant person, I know what this kid is getting at –
    all the minds like yours that worship their reflections as how open
    and uniquely they stand out as packed with institutionalized quality
    and deep life experiences. If you’re so experienced, why take this
    kid over your proverbial knee for a spaking, shouldn’t all your
    worldly travels have brought you to a level of being above that. You
    see, this article is a great mirror for you to see how you have
    transcended to achieve – NOTHING! My congrats, I hope you keep this
    article and reply up, because in the future, you may find that
    because of this article, indirectly and without his knowledge this
    kid…took you to school. Then again, if he knew about my reply, he
    might be the type to pat you on the back and show some compassion,
    while all your colleagues are laughing about the egg on your face and
    that pretty red tint just in time for Cristmas. I’m not “settling
    the score here, but passing you the ball, and telling you as a player
    “it’s time to step it up – maybe graduate from third string news
    articles.” Peace, have a safe holidays, Matt.

    • http://www.facebook.com/11Chariots J.M Von Kotterhausen

      p.s. – my chordless keybord is in need of new batteries – hence the typos. i’m actuall something of a writer, but was steamrolliong with a bit more speed than accuracy

      • Calypso_1

        HAWT DAMN! A specials one you is!

    • Calypso_1

      When the years role by,
      finding yourself in the dotage of geriatric decline,
      you would do well to have realized long ago the greater significance of
      not storing your dentures down your disposable adult undergarments
      than having lived under the assumption that what comes out of your mouth is distinguishable
      from other expressions of alimentary passage.

  • CJ Betcher

    This kid obviously had a bible shoved in his face when he was little, and didn’t learn anything else. Or he’s a troll… No one else could be that stupid and one-sided.

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