White House Denies Obama Was a Time Traveler

The White House apparently has felt obligated to issue an official denial that Obama was a time-traveling visitor to Mars. So it goes.


Forget Kenya. Never mind the secret madrassas. The sinister, shocking truth about Barack Obama’s past lies not in east Africa, but in outer space. As a young man in the early 1980s, Obama was part of a secret CIA project to explore Mars. The future president teleported there, along with the future head of Darpa.

That’s the assertion, at least, of a pair of self-proclaimed time-traveling, universe-exploring government agents. Andrew D. Basiago and William Stillings insist that they once served as “chrononauts” at Darpa’s behest, traversing the boundaries of time and space. They swear: A youthful Barack Obama was one of them.

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  • Rex Vestri

    …He was, however, intimately involved in another secret CIA project to explore Uranus.

    • Marklar_Prime

      Actually he has a whole department for conducting such exploration called the TSA.

  • Calypso_1

    I hope they issued this denial with thoroughly redacted arcana.

    • Matt Staggs

      Oh, man. I’d love to forge some kind of document just like that, kind of like how Air Force Intelligence forged the “Majestic 12” stuff. Talk about Disinfo!

      • Calypso_1

        one would need to consider the operational factors in conducting transchrono disinformation. telltale anachronisms would be at the heart of hyperdimensional false flag manifolds.
        this of course also explains the destruction of bee colonies.

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