I had a dream that I inhabited a construction supply warehouse and was picking up materials for my new cosmology. I picked up understanding, gnosis and some new pipes for a free flowing system connected to the logos. I awoke from the metaphor to realize that this dream told me that my worldview, and even who I AM, creates the landscape of my reality. “Blame it on last night’s whiskey,” I said and returned to sleep, but the same idea came again in another way: This time, I was in an art studio that my present self does not yet own. Here I made with paint and canvas my own cosmos. Where previously it was a construct, now it was a work of art.
In Alan Moore’s first film, Jimmy’s End, Jimmy visits an unexpected place in which the big show of creation happens, performed by the great “I AM”.
Ah yes, the great I AM! I’ve been wanting to see this show! Wait a second, I think, therefore I AM? Who AM I? Oh my, how do I escape from this confusing realm of what Huxley called “is-ness”? Back to the construction site, we may need a total rebuild! What little gods can do can make a mess of you.
I’ve been toying with a notion that goes something like this: when a man lives his life in utter drudgery, making a paycheck, masturbating much more often than he fucks, pays his taxes and dies of cancer at 63, who does he blame? Does he blame anyone, or even need to? If the great I AM does the same, is it more pitiful to realize that the man is the great I AM? “Oh poor I AM, he always looks so downtrodden!”
At some point in an infant’s development, it realizes that it can grab things and does grab things without thinking of the monumental power that the act of claiming something can be. An infant just does. Later on, it realizes that it can walk as well. Observing the child is more encouraging than looking at the man with the boring life, ahem, I mean the I AM with the boring life. You, I and the rest of the world are like a bunch of baby I AM’s with a fresh, new multiverse, but we’ve been an I DO long before we realized we were an I AM. We don’t know how or why anymore than an infant knows how or why it can grab something and gnaw on it, but here we are; stewing in our own is-ness.
Perhaps the next part of the construction plan is to consciously take charge of the multiverse in our hands, to escape, or better yet, recreate the world as we see fit and claim that fact that I AM and now I DO.
The hope is that our multiverse may come to play nice with others; to explore the space with the aplomb that is expected of the I AM’s of all that is. It is our construct, it is our work of art; our tools and supplies are our thoughts and experiences in an ever-changing landscape within our minds. “Doctor, I think we’re losing him!”, proclaims many a character in Jimmy’s End, but is it that Jimmy is lost, or that Jimmy doesn’t realize his own is-ness?
Does Jimmy not know that he might just be the I AM? Do you?
Decide for yourself and perhaps explore the vast possibilities of your own is-ness.
Gabriel writes for VICE Magazine, Disinfo.com and Realitysandwich.com and is the author of three books. He is continuing his research at the University of Washington in his hometown of Tacoma, WA.
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