Iranian Government Scientist Claims To Have Invented Machine That Reveals The Future

speculationsHow does it work? Algorithms, duh. Via the Telegraph:

Ali Razeghi, a Tehran scientist has registered “The Aryayek Time Traveling Machine” with the state-run Centre for Strategic Inventions. The device can predict the future in a print out after taking readings from the touch of a user, he told the Fars state newsagency.

Razaeghi, 27, said the device worked by a set of complex algorithms to “predict five to eight years of the future life of any individual, with 98 percent accuracy”. As the managing director of Iran’s Centre for Strategic Inventions, Razeghi is a serial inventor with 179 other inventions listed under his own name.

“My invention easily fits into the size of a personal computer case and can predict details of the next 5-8 years of the life of its users,” he said. “The reason that we are not launching our prototype at this stage is that the Chinese will steal the idea and produce it in millions overnight.”

8 Comments on "Iranian Government Scientist Claims To Have Invented Machine That Reveals The Future"

  1. The Well Dressed Man | Apr 12, 2013 at 11:45 am |

    Can’t wait to hear what Simon Valentine has to say about this one…

  2. Charlie Primero | Apr 12, 2013 at 11:49 am |

    The Telegraph wants you to know that Iranians are silly and thus deserve subjugation.

    • Exactly, silly countries, like Iran deserve invading to put a stop to all this silliness. It’s just good policy, and what Jesus would want.

  3. geminihigh | Apr 12, 2013 at 2:53 pm |

    So I guess there won’t be an attack on Iran in the next 5-8 years otherwise they would already have attacked first? I understand that it only can be used to determine an individuals short term fate, but if used on enough Iranians and the answer comes back “you are going to die an awful death from the fallout” or “you will be captured by the Jews to breed children for Blood Ritual”, then I think Tehran could see which way the wind is going to blow.

  4. no the chinese cannot sell them to americans because i am in america and i already know it won’t work to americans because not only does it work mostly for iranian peoples it is not currently calibrated to americans so if you do them then build here.

  5. Anyone ever see Paycheck? Looks like Iran just got Netflix,

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