The Universe Does Not Exist: Conspiratorial Cosmology – the Case Against the Universe

From Modern Mythology:

German physicists Jörg P. Rachen and Ute G. Gahlings have recently discovered evidence of a Universal Conspiracy and have just published their results in a brilliant exposé published in the highly esteemed Journal of Comparative Irrelevance:

Abstract: “Based on the cosmological results of the Planck Mission, we show that all parameters describing our Universe within the ΛCDM model can be constructed from a small set of numbers known from conspiracy theory. Our finding is confirmed by recent data from high energy particle physics. This clearly demonstrates that our Universe is a plot initiated an unknown interest group or lodge. We analyse possible scenarios for this conspiracy, and conclude that the belief in the existence of our Universe is an illusion, as previously assumed by ancient philosophers, 20th century science fiction authors and contemporary film makers.



It’s like this, only BIGGER

James Curcio

I was raped by a family of polar bears as a child and now have a deep seated terror of peanut butter. Psychological transference is weird. Author, artist, freak.
  • Juan

    I knew it!!!!!!

  • The Well Dressed Man

    Ha! I had trouble finding the link to the document in question:

    The fact that it’s hosted on Cornell University servers adds extra flavor to this jest. My favorite bit might have been the introduction of “the superconspiratorial constant c = 23*42 = 966”

  • BuzzCoastin

    > The Universe Does Not Exist

    that was The Buddha’s great discovery
    only he pinned the conspiracy on the “individual”
    whose job it was to break free of the illusion

    • Ittabena

      Took the words right out of my… Ok, I would have probably selected different words, but wouldn’t have said it better.

  • Mikael Bergkvist

    Hm. published April 1st.

  • tristan eldritch

    Conspiracy Theorem 1: The False Flag is the square root of the Inside Job (to the power of Alex Jones.)

    • Calypso_1

      I’m getting that on a t-shirt.
      AJ himself is only an abelian subgroup projection of a periodic matrix of shills, subversives & sheeple.

  • jasonpaulhayes

    The path is fair .. but so very unkind.