The War on Drugs is a Failure – Autotuned by The Gregory Brothers

To celebrate 4-20, A bi-partisan panel of politicians somehow come to a unanimous agreement that The War on Drugs is totally effed up. Guest Starring Kevin Smith & Jason Mewes:

Lyrics below:

We need to repeal the whole war on drugs
It isn’t working
We don’t have to have more courts and more prisons
This has to change
This has to change

Prohibition didn’t work
Prohibition on drugs doesn’t work
We have spent over 400 billion dollars
It’s a waste of money

We need to come to our senses
Let’s put down the guns and unclench the fists
We need to come to our senses
Yeah, we don’t treat alcoholics like this
We need to come to our senses
Prohibition failing harder than 1926
We need to come to our senses
We don’t treat alcoholics like this

Too many people doin’ time
Somebody tell me – when did recreation become a crime?
It’s bright-eyed kids we’re sendin into prison
They go in as superheroes and come out supervillains

Could have had more Einsteins, more Magellans,
But we made a thousand Al Capone level felons.
Take out a dealer and ten more appear
So let’s ban curing cancer, we’ll cure it within a year.

We need to come to our senses

Of 50,000 arrests, 82% were black and hispanic
These arrests stigmatize, they criminalize
Making it harder to find a job
Making it harder to get into school
Making it harder to turn their lives around
It must end and it must end now

The war on drugs, while well-intentioned, has been a failure
We’re warehousing addicted people every day in state prisons
Giving them no treatment, sending them back on the street
And wondering why they don’t get better
Why they commit crimes again
Well, they commit crimes to support their addiction

The war on drugs is a failure
Put down the guns and unclench the fists
The war on drugs is a failure
We don’t treat alcoholics like this
The war on drugs is a failure
Prohibition’s failing more than in 1926
The war on drugs is a failure
We don’t treat alcoholics like this

The cops got better things to do anyway
Like stop real crimes instead of wasting time
Chasing that mary jane
Stoned people don’t start fights
No, they don’t
Stoned people don’t rob banks
Not even close
The worst thing stoned people do
Is steal their roommate’s oreos
And that’s a misdemeanor at most
A misdemeanor at most
A misdemeanor at most


Majestic is gadfly emeritus.

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23 Comments on "The War on Drugs is a Failure – Autotuned by The Gregory Brothers"

  1. BuzzCoastin | Apr 21, 2013 at 7:29 pm |

    Hey Matt
    In the last few daze the video imbedded on the page doesn’t appear.
    It seems like its a FireFox problem, since FF doesn’t support HTML 5 video yet.
    Just a heads-up.

    • Matt Staggs | Apr 21, 2013 at 8:21 pm |

      Deeply weird. I’m cruising the tubes via Firefox right now, but I’ve not had this problem. However, you’re not the only person who has said this. Our tech guy is going to see what he can do.

    • Found this via quick search – not sure if it works but maybe worth a try:

      “I was having the same issue up until I found a solution myself a few minutes ago. If you have “Accept Third Party Cookies” un-checked it will not allow the embedded “Third party” youtube videos to load. You can either Check the box to allow third party cookies or add an exception to WITHOUT the www. You just want it to be Youtube.Com.

      To do so just go to Tools: Options: Privacy: Exceptions: Type in Youtube.comand click Allow. Then click Close and OK. It should start working immediately.”

      • BuzzCoastin | Apr 22, 2013 at 7:33 pm |

        thanks, but my FF 20.0.1 doesn’t have that set-up in tools
        but I’ve got the idea of what’s going on
        and eventually a work -around will appear

  2. BuzzCoastin | Apr 21, 2013 at 7:33 pm |

    alcohol, sugar, HFCS, coffee, tea, tobacco, wheat gluten, rice gluten, meds from Big Pharma

    There’s a war on drugs?
    No, there’s a war on people
    and drugs are the cover for that racist, fascist maneuver.

    • Jin The Ninja | Apr 22, 2013 at 11:39 am |

      i’m sure you’re familiar with 辟穀,
      which in the way only daoism can be
      is utterly anti-system, anti-capitalist.

      • BuzzCoastin | Apr 22, 2013 at 7:13 pm |

        I hadn’t made that Bigu connection
        but I did know that grains have addictive properties
        I’ve also met Buddhist monks who avoid garlic & onions

        all the “drugs” I listed come from plants directly
        except the meds from Big Pharma
        so it’s really a war on plants too

  3. Fusionism | Apr 22, 2013 at 2:30 am |

    I used to think autotune blows. I now stand corrected. Brilliant.

    • its fine when its absurdist… when people enjoy listening to it in lieu of music though……

      • it seems i have been blocked from replying to you in the Moore’s Law page. so i shall do it here 🙂

        i am familiar with this expression though it’s not always with me a
        handle in the word you’ve put it (many things to do with hand-baskets; many lore options here; oh! centrifugal force! one moment…). i am glad we are not at unnecessary odds of it, and that references to Jeff Goldblum may yield T-Rex vision and raptor fencing is a wonderful prospect! centrifugal force though. do we think that we could convince a rather Icarus fellow among ourselves (or our entirety) that one may swing a pale of water round the head so fast as to generate enough outward force that we may pull ourselves up into the sky against? i have not done much in the way of engineering my UFO just yet, certainly, however, this is the jist of it. happy Easter? ha ha! jolly ho then!

        • I’m getting the same problem, it seems that entering the disinfo website through the disqus auto-email system flags the tab//window permanently as a page with “…this page includes other resources which are not secure…” etc. Going to the disinfo website directly then searching for the article.. and the comment seems to work as tedious as that is. Well, either that explanation or Matt Staggs as an agent of the CIA doesn’t want us talking.

          I can’t tell if you’re speaking more clearly, or if i’m slowly entering your rabbit hole, but your whimsical style is becoming more parsable the more i try to read it. I would try to say you’re going overboard with all the chaos references…. but I cannot do that honestly as I’m currently reading a book entitled Chaos.

          Besides, all this, I enjoy being vague, people can read into it however they like, and different interpretations create for more varied and interesting conversations.

          • yeah it’s the first time i got the ‘red flag bar’ that said a’la “you do not have permission to post to this page”; earlier it was “failed to upload image” which then appeared uploaded anyway. this computers really are quantum if quantum is a real thing, anyway. so heck, i totally identify with what you say. vagueness is like freedom, opportunity, aether … >.> … 🙂 whimsy! <3 whimsyshire lol. classical inter-agency politics! ha ha! oh. mostly i toss in random things i enjoy like my writing is a cooking project. so i guess that makes me KGB? pff hahaha i like me some Russians and i defense it. parsable parables purportedly ported plenarary porticus o.0 encore? Rancor. rain core. sounds native. um bibbely boo… do you think perhaps that time does not exist and anything and everything is space (aether) warped up into nice little packages? void force only force and vacuum by any other name? 🙂

          • i think worrying about whether time exists is like worrying whether water is clear or not. depending on your perspective the question can seem obvious one way, obvious another, confusing, or completely nonsensical.

          • ah indeed the ominous ‘does the black hole spin fast enough to throw things outward’ parable. parabola, perhaps, with factorization markings as so many uncanny valleys. we shall use the stigma ligature from the Greek i should say, had i the chalkboard i so greatly desire. though i should say that one parabola is only one Taylor term, thus we shalln’t find any factors, for it is merely the integer 1. none-the-less i do quite find it enlightening that what you say belies a great comprehension within you! quite on that path of the saturnal arts owl belt, ye! non-sensical is not the most utterly perfect transpondence i should say. utterdark blaste! blaste off thine C to see in the darkness, non-sense, in entirety. dark templars and ancient troves of forgotten knowledge as though read from the face of a holographic black hole! i shall leave open the option belying a tangential mathematical art concerting combinatorial issues with “random drug testing” questions, if you should wish to read of it.

          • Is the nonsense dark because we cannot see it? If we could see past that veil it would it not be unintelligable to our simple minds? If you focus too much all you see is the chaos. It seems reality is just blurred chaos, made comprehensible through lack of detail.

            Or maybe the nonsense comes from a perspective of ignorance, yet this is still another perspective. If one were a true relativist, could he say ignorance was not valuable? Curious: makes you wonder if true relativism could even exist as the perspective of the uselessness of relativity surely exists as well. How does relativity deal with self reference?

            On forgotten knowledge. If it is really forgotten, what manner would its (re-)attainment be verifiable? How could we know, and even if we did know, it would be challenged. How would we know who was right?(and who is we?) Truly when you get down to it, relativity is the enemy of Questioning itself. Maybe it should be discarded outright and allow for the Great War. But i’m sure that situation would lead to the questions being forgotten just as well, and the cycle begins anew.

            Methinks the room is getting colder. I think we might be summoning a Blizzard. I wouldn’t worry much though; I’m sure there are some shamans and witch doctors around here that could dispel it. What random drug trials would a witch doctor perform?

          • you are indeed a great wizard. i offer mention of Promian to say that also in mathematical style rigor logic one may let darkness, void, and nonsense be equivalent and conversiveconvertive one to another, like NP problems. NP problems as a clique, as an entity that is itself knowledge, chaos, Seti, Thoth, Augur. i do enjoy your chaos magicka! lack of detail! bravo!

            analysis of sorting entities, here. arcane hydra. sorting this from that, distinguishing. extinguishing. instigating. this ‘if’ has lead me to Einstein’s white rabbit. i delete it, sir, like Nathan Explosion. void is my key and ku. light is coagulants to the wound! it is not linear! it is as chaos that we conjur, jury-rig, and feast upon, as we were the black holes!

            the question for the oracle. self-refer each unit, like we had done with relativity? is verifiable verifiable? ad infinitum? mathematical induction? a sorcerer as well i feel in you here. challenge! magrocracy! the great Anak! i have lost some things myself, one loss was in a script, a cyclops lost to the sirens.

            i am as well had been experiencing cold afore reading of the Blizzard here, and felt warmth of it’s fire. Denis the Menace! in short, it is a matter of the ‘answer’ being in the totality of the Binomial Coefficient rather than exponentiation. as for the long of it (it’s very messy and i’m not proud of it as stands, it has been titled ‘big gibs’; my mind knows the clean case though):

          • I may be a wizard but am far from great. I merely have a workable defensive capability. I also put a number of points into restoration. I know i know, noone uses restoration, but I’ve taken a liking to it.

            Unfortunately, 3/4 of those notes are unaccessable or nonexistant, possibly fixable but that’s up to you.

          • Hercules B as a computer for any tech or psionic existential entity (Promian). the universe as “that which can not be broken”.

            transpondence, affinity, void, vexamorph. balanced peaceful unbreakable universal
            future, balancing act, time itself, and the realization of a balanced
            anti-breakable universe. all the
            explanations, all the solutions, all the vexamorphs sucked onto the void and
            pressed up against its lips, waiting, awaiting the feast, the answer, the
            solution, the climax, the conception, the birth. black holes are giant computers and Hercules B has quite a story
            to tell. something far more advanced
            than even any proofs concerning any mathematics, computer science,
            anthropology, transcendence, or anything, i should imagine.

  4. Bluebird_of_Fastidiousness | Apr 22, 2013 at 11:32 am |

    No failure. It’s working EXACTLY as intended. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, if you’re experiencing cognitive dissonance regarding almost any public policy, just reflect that “it’s a feature not a flaw.”

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