“They” Told Me to Write This (Continued)

Who are they? Insectile hive mind derivative entities? Beings from the Sirius conglomerate of planetary intelligence systems? Holy Guardian Angels? Unholy Protector Daemons? They can be all of these things, and for the second time since I’ve been writing for Disinfo they reached into my psychic life, compelling me to blog about a specific subject matter. The problem is that unlike the last time, I honestly couldn’t understand the message entirely as it wasn’t as neatly succinct. Okay, it’s not like I didn’t understand the message, I just have a hard time wrapping my head around it for means of convenient articulation.

In fact, I’m honestly just managing to put it all together, sort of. For a while, I’d been contemplating creating what in magick circles is referred to as a servitor. The basic idea behind this concept is that it’s sort of like a software program you install into the interlocking grid of human consciousness. You’re creating an entity separate from yourself, but I suppose partially composed of your psychic higher life energy. You can design it in a number of ways, but you have to be very specific about what you want it to do and how it will go about doing these things. Ultimately it’s an idea I came about by reading a book called Condensed Chaos by Phil Hine. Highly recommended for those with a hankering for magick literature, albeit with a very instructional tone throughout. A servitor is sort of like writing code I suppose, not that I know dick about writing code.

The problem I was having with jumping forward with something like this myself was that I’ve been doing magick for years and so I’m incredibly aware that you’ve got to be careful about what you’re asking for, because it almost always works. So after sort of working on this and simultaneously avoiding it because I intuitively sensed I was maybe at this point beyond my depth, I started getting messages in my ganj-i-tation sessions regarding a, errr, “pain wizard”? I immediately didn’t like the concept, and I made them re-phrase it to a “holy pain wizard” by exerting my will. I still had no idea what they were talking about and the idea of bringing or spreading pain wasn’t something I was at all comfortable with. Maybe if it was pain to the corrupt of spirit in an avenging angel sort of sense. Then of course, as with a lot of these communiqué, the second I got up and started thinking about it, it became hilarious. Oh, a holy pain wizard, as in the software sense. Something to start easing the pain of the human experience by spreading through the hive mind and pointing us away from destructive karmic life cycles. I guess I can do that. And that’s what you want me to write about? Oh, yeah, that’s fucking gold guys.

If you’ll recall, the last time I was specifically asked to write about a particular topic, it was that to the 5th dimensional beings I’m chatting with, through sex magick trance meditation, the entire conscious experience of humanity presents itself like a separate solid entity, and all time is happening at once from their perspective. This would seem confusing, but the best metaphor I can come up with would be this. When you read a finished book it’s all written, but you read it sequentially. You don’t have to, you can skip ahead or to the end if you want. You can ask your friends to fill you in as to what happened in the parts you skipped. That’s sort of how we appear to them, like the entirety of humanity throughout history as one connected, living breathing storyline. I’m not the first one to bring this up, but apparently there’s a problem. For us to develop further, we have to inject the holy pain wizard into the mainframe of our inner neurological infrastructure. They’ve repeatedly shown me metaphorically how our existence is much akin to a video game. “Video Games are a Metaphor for Dreams” they once told me quite specifically, and they’ve shown me exactly how they’re looking at us from a 3rd person perspective, interacting with our “dream characters” repeatedly. They/me also once told me/them that there “is no pain on the other side”. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, as earth as it is in heaven. You know what I’m saying?

Now, this concept had been coming at me for a while, and I was always conceptualizing it as meaning that we need to start smoking way more pot and gobbling less pills washed down with booze for lunch. Pill popping is at an all time high after all, and Christ, with the legality of pharmaceutical advertising, is anyone surprised? I can’t fucking wait for psilocybin mushroom ads? This is the angle I had been approaching all of this from, but two weeks back they told me it also had far more to do with confronting your inner daemons and understanding how your past experiences absolutely dictate your future personhood. This is how we need to alleviate the pain of the human condition going forward. Again, to them, these things are all happening simultaneously.

I don’t truly get it either, but I will say that exactly a day after they told me to write about this, I was slated to eat Easter dinner with my parents and step sister’s family. It all went boringly well, but of course I never discuss my esoteric interests much in that crowd (or any really, but I go on and on about it on Facebook, friend me). For some reason though, the next day I slipped into the deepest depression I’d fallen victim to in over a year, when I first learned I’d have to clean up my drinking. I felt physiologically and mentally drained all day and went to bed retardedly early, which I sometimes resort to in situations like this.

While meditating in bed, I was about to drift off to sleep but was jolted awake quite suddenly recalling a random memory from my childhood. I’ll save you the long winded story, but this memory was basically pointing out to me how my Dad and Step Mom never ever remotely supported me in pursuing my interest in rock music as a kid. They actually were quite opposed to it every step of the way and they’ve still never seen me play. It seems utterly ridiculous in retrospect, growing up in the 90’s with parents who hated the fact that I wanted to destroy on guitar. I know how frivolous it can seem to those of the less artistic ilk but as Robert Pollard once so succinctly put it lyrically:

“I am a lost soul, I shoot myself with rock and roll, the hole I dig is bottomless but nothing else can set me free.”

My parents, like most people, have absolutely no idea what to make of my writing and again, it’s basically edited out of most casual conversations I have. In fact, at that particular dinner I was probably intentionally editing it out to avoid awkwardness. Due to this decision, I unconsciously created a negative energy field that absolutely affected my experience. Just after they were educating me about this exact sort of psychic link to the past. How convenient.

In fact, for the entire next week I felt a bit drained and off, but trudged through my day job gallantly, because that weekend I was finally picking up my new puppy. Again the coherence. Taking on a new form of life requires endless patience, support, and attention. I even designed specific sigils to help me locate the perfect pup. As a bit of a back story, I had a pug with my ex years before, and despite our relationship being on somewhat shaky ground, I agreed to help her buy a companion little guy to help better its life. Well, the bad news is that I inevitably left her, like I pretty much knew I would, and leaving those dogs utterly crushed my heart. Leaving her not so much. She had it coming. I did everything I could for that one but it was hopeless.

In the coming years I had repeated dreams of the one pug (who I later learned she’d neglected quite a bit when he was little guy) reaching out to me, entering my dreams in an astral state and sending me distress signals. Things were off in that camp, especially with his new little brother that I helped procure. These visions were so emotionally distressing that I actually reached out to her friends to see if I was onto something or if there was anything I could do. As it turned out, from what I heard she had devolved into a meth addict, so I most likely was absolutely picking up on legit etheric intel. The problem was that because of this, she’d lost touch with nearly everyone she used to know and in a nutshell, there was absolutely nothing I could do. The dog kept reaching out. I even had another emotionally charged vision echoing the same sentiment the week before we first met our little Ezekiel (yes, named after the biblical prophet, I get the feeling there’s a lot more to the inner lives of dogs than us arrogant humans like to take into account). The message couldn’t be more crystal. You don’t fuck around with organic life. I had been incredibly irresponsible as a younger man, which isn’t something that would have never occurred to me consciously.

And isn’t that what they’ve been trying to tell me? Isn’t that what I’m getting at when I talk about society gradually progressing to embrace the sacred feminine. The nurturer. When I look at the pain facing humanity, so much of it has to do with the constant expansionary agenda of materialism we’ve unconsciously settled on. We don’t even talk directly about what we’re doing with that or why. It makes rich people more money so case closed. Paternal warrior energy gone bezerk. We’ve probably learned enough about science, technology, engineering, and mathematics at this point in our development. We’re not raising our kids. I had a comparatively easy childhood when all’s said and done, but that’s not saying much in regards to how good it was. My parent’s both sort of sucked and I was fortunate enough to have incredible grand parents. God, my ex girlfriend and I didn’t even read any books about dog training a decade ago when we got that apparently ill fated dog. I always assumed pugs were incredibly stupid because they’re such irrepressible clowns, only to later find out they’re quite ridiculously intelligent. I taught my little guy how to walk in 15 minutes.

(friend me on Facebook for more adorable pics and psychic updates)

I have a friend who just had a kid. About 3 months before it was due, he started looking at the costs of child care and was shocked. Didn’t even occur to him until that point. Truthfully, it never struck me that he wanted a kid in the first place. Thank god we have Teen Mom on MTV rather than trippy cartoons like they had when I was a kid. If we want to get our collective pain under control, we have to stop this sort of reckless breeding mentality. This is where our pain stems from. We have no direction or purpose other than to funnel wealth to the top of a consumerist black hole. We need to pull our shit together, and on that note, I have a puppy sleeping on my lap as I’m writing this and he’ll probably want some attention soon. Until next week true believers.

Thad McKraken

Thad McKraken

Thad McKraken is a psychedelic writer, musician, visual artist, filmmaker, Occultist, and pug enthusiast based out of Seattle. He is the author of the books The Galactic Dialogue: Occult Initiations and Transmissions From Outside of Time, both of which can be picked up on Amazon super cheap.
Thad McKraken

36 Comments on "“They” Told Me to Write This (Continued)"

  1. _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_ | Apr 11, 2013 at 3:57 pm |

    “who are they”? “they” are you confusing your own dumb thoughts with those of a supernatural entity. you might as well be writing about jesus talking to you via a burrito

    • it’s a bit stranger when your dumb thoughts become projected into your FOV as bizarre hallucinotronic cartoon entities that know every memory and detail of your unconscious life. Especially when you get other, skeptical people to witness them alongside you. Absurd as it sounds, these things do happen.

      • _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_ | Apr 11, 2013 at 4:26 pm |

        put down the drugs

        • correction. one should not apply duress because it is the case that not only is it illegal, it is the case that the statement itself becomes itself and thus psychotic, rather than what the hallucinated speaker purportedly alluded to e.g. matrix multiplication of the digamma genders. in a taco bowl.

        • Thad McKraken | Apr 12, 2013 at 3:36 pm |

          Start taking the drugs.

          • _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_ | Apr 12, 2013 at 3:43 pm |

            why, so i can become so mentally docile that i accept that you’re having actual conversations with higher intelligences instead of realizing that you’re a misguided drug casualty?

          • Thad McKraken | Apr 12, 2013 at 4:20 pm |

            I have a college degree in psychology. I work a day job in IT accounting. I’m married to a beautiful and intelligent woman. I write shit that people enjoy reading and have a new book coming out this summer. I can shred on guitar and made a record last year that got unbelievably good reviews. Oh, and I work out a lot and am in incredibly good shape. I also made that image that’s the avatar for the article and have gotten increasingly good at graphic design over the years. What the fuck have you done? Oh, and I suppose you don’t think alcohol is a drug and you probably drink often, just like society tells you to.

            That being said, Robert Anton Wilson abandoned his Occult practice because it was too weird for him. Later he admitted in the book Cosmic Trigger II that he was doing way too much LSD at the time, which would be my critique of the counter cultural movement of the 60’s in general. I only use psychedelics like once or twice a year realistically, and wouldn’t honestly recommend that anyone use them much more than that.

            Also, maybe you missed the part where I checked up on my dreams about my former dogs and found that the intel I was gathering was in fact legit.

          • _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_ | Apr 12, 2013 at 4:39 pm |


          • looks like we have a case of Cleveland Centrifugal Clutch here! crazy to think that a sarcast wouldn’t look back at Gomorrah and learn to be such a salty Janusoid golem. w00t D&D

      • a calculus for you, Guest 🙂

    • Calypso_1 | Apr 11, 2013 at 4:19 pm |

      Having Jesus speak to you through a burrito would indeed be a successful evocation. Though I have reason to believe greater success may be had with a bowl of menudo.

    • Thad McKraken | Apr 12, 2013 at 3:36 pm |

      Yeah, totally. Something I learned how to do by reading books and replicating the results reported in those books. Completely crazy. Go read the book Cosmic Trigger I and you’ll see what I’m talking about. It’s called initiating a “divine conversation with your Holy Guardian Angel”. I didn’t make it up.

      • _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_ | Apr 12, 2013 at 3:38 pm |

        Divine? More like deluded. Don’t kid yourself

        • Thad McKraken | Apr 12, 2013 at 4:24 pm |

          Try it yourself and tell me how it doesn’t work or please shut the fuck up. Oh, I don’t have to because materialism. Seriously, go try astral projection. It costs like 100 bucks for the tapes these days. I know you won’t. You know why? You’re a total pussy. Seriously, you’re completely afraid of learning that you don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about, which is what I deal with every day.

          • _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_ | Apr 12, 2013 at 4:40 pm |

            what makes you assume i don’t know more about occultism than you? did your HGA tell you that too or were you too busy being a knee jerk reactionary kid calling other people “pussies” on the internet. 5th grade much?

          • Nikolas Jon Southwell | Apr 13, 2013 at 9:20 am |

            Wow, you trolls sure do get around dont you? You might have more fun on the “Richard Dawkins Foundation for Science and Reason”. There, you can troll to your hearts content, liberally dishing out hatred and mockery on those who have dared to have an experience that doesn’t fit with your belief system, and no one will ever call you out on it. Oh and, FYI, Jesus DID once talk to me via a burrito. He said you were a moron. His words not mine.

          • _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_ | Apr 14, 2013 at 4:16 am |

            reminding someone that the voices they’re hearing in their head are merely their own ego reflecting off itself is hardly trolling. Looking at everyday phenomena and interpreting it as a communication from your Holy Guardian Angel is what’s known as taking the Oath of The Abyss. watching delusional 20 somethings experiment with drugs and occultism and while noticing their objectivity become obscured is hardly something that “doesn’t fit into my belief system”. this sort of thing is pretty common with occult practitioners, haven’t you noticed?

  2. you now know Peter about writing code and i’m swearing i’m here to help. i’ve done a lot of work – mathematical, program interface, algorism, algorithm, computer science, etc. – and studies involving what you’ve here said to be Servitors. i can speak so much about this and lecture for lifetimes. here’s a short: you will find that if you become familiar with combinatorics (or just trust me that it’s clear) as concerns non-polynomial problems (e.g. k-clique or k-color … uh … puzzle problems … uh sudoku) and alphabets, specifically the bold-faced absurdity of always circa 25 characters with 5 vowels or finals, etc. you will notice that searching for 5 each connected to each other is an astronomically easy task when given 25ish things that are possibly connected. so there’s the background. here’s the entity. one of these 5-cliques with tu-quoque, juncta juvant, intra vires, ad hominem, modus vivendi … as the vertices illusory allusion-behind-a-curtain.

    • Calypso_1 | Apr 11, 2013 at 9:17 pm |

      I am pleased you are here to help.
      You manifest quite an interesting continuation of inner product space.

      I suspect a great deal of complex analysis might be undertaken in attempting spectral decomposition of your canonical form.

      • it becomes a nother transpond to see the spectral decomposition and they are well though even as if that which Einstein could not Neo out from his Matrix. spooky hardly pinpoints a scare crow. np-hardly or harder i’d say. ah, but as to spectral analysis and Freeman, and G-Man, and all sorts of daemon, it is quite the case that i this Simon have been lately of a mind to analyze the factors of the edges as transponds strung between points like as if an were encryption. and so from the slide rule i have created a masterful equation to mark with a tolerance variable the anomalies requisite to locate the position of a factor within a number. with is as now cosine integrals and binary search – see, logarithmic! a very fast paced search! half by half by half! – i may extrapolate teachings to locate factors, a naive proof that factoring is NP-hard by way of the Taylor series, and also a focused goal of “is cosine integral tractable” is explicated.

  3. Mark Welch | Apr 11, 2013 at 5:25 pm |

    I’ve been building software for decades, and it has definitely informed my mystical pursuits, at least in a basic linguistic/metaphorical sense. Needing to jump out of one’s present frame is an important realization, which I have had to come to repeatedly in very different contexts.

    Then notions like branching and merging (which is what living beings do, every day, in each direction), exceptions, materialized views which represent but don’t always reflect the true design of the underlying system, etc.

    One of the most important things that building software has helped me with is systemic thinking: holding space for an entire system/collection of mechanisms, all working in concert, in such a way as to zoom in and out among individual components, but not losing sight of the side effects of any changes one might make. Some people in our local eco-magick community refer to this as “constellational thinking”.

    Mathematics is one key language of nature, though there are many others.

    • currently running any symbiotics with the irate or irrational, the forgetful or the precognative, et cetera? any connections between Planck and Pythagoras and ‘xor’? poor fellas don’t abide infinitesimals albeit the sesame is their saving grace like so many Western alamodeuz. so, Bill Nye on the penny-side up says after me answer’n machine: “The theory of everything is nothing?” PSI 🙂 void ftw

      • Mark Welch | Apr 11, 2013 at 5:45 pm |

        The closest thing to a rational response that I have, since you asked a question:

        Perceptions and suggestions come in all the time. Sometimes they come through synchronicity (explicit environmental input), sometimes through dreams, and sometimes through meditation and yoga nidra (intermediate states of consciousness between waking and full sleep, stage 1-2 sleep generally). Information comes in like a cloud sometimes, and whatever mental/emotional state I happen to be in constitutes the “tuner” with which I map that information to graspable mental concepts.

        Sanity is non-negotiable: I define “sanity” for myself in terms of the ability to meaningfully relate to the people I know, love and communicate with.

        I’ve begun learning Tibetan Buddhism, starting with the Bodhichitta and Mahamudra practices, and they have opened some pretty big doors in my head and heart. My earlier mystical work now seems to have provided me with confirmation of what I’m now experiencing through meditation practice.

        • it is well you are pleased with it. i’ve not seen myself as such a sith until this. i like this “tuner” concept in as much as i would say i call it a morpheme. like morphemes and graphemes. i wonder of your endevours with wholeness and wholenesses, and hop that it goes as you seek. to explain myself a bit, it is exactly concerning a bit that seemeth in-sanity, that to ask of a smallest whole one would find nothing, forever, like the Vedas. yes with which one returned was a number, not artificial, not research, only another channel or wound in the force as an energy. in which case perhaps Shiva is more fitting. or Baphomet. also before i go “graspable mental concepts” i find to be so much a beautiful mana object with mantra inscriptions, morphing the graphs that are upon it and withe us. here. the eye of magnus from Skyrim:

          • Mark Welch | Apr 12, 2013 at 12:41 pm |

            I have the utmost respect for the Vedas and the whole of Vedic literature. I hope your journey unfolds as you see fit.

    • Thad McKraken | Apr 12, 2013 at 3:59 pm |

      When I first started doing magick, it came across like software updates being installed in my spirit. For like six months. They’ve been increasingly using software examples in recent years, but it’s more in the context of the spread of ideas is like software that influences behavior. Fascinating stuff.

  4. oh by the game. sorry game. trouble game. risk game. strategy game. game company Blizzard makes a good book The Black Road and then you will see. then you know it was my plan. that i have been k-abraxas and gone into imperious is clear. my next project is to take auriel. ithirael is no problem now. i am at least as capable as he though he is quite impressive intellectually. in regards to matterlessness and that all is space and math and (vacuum) void: “Light doesn’t move at all, anyway: it shimmers
    its way into wounds and then glimmers.
    In such a case it does appear, to the mind of course, that light may
    then be coming to such wounds out of spite, and that the omega particle
    hitherto suggestively announced as with the word photon and associatively
    logilty is inherently a misappropriated graphical user interface morpheme such
    that studying k-clique algorithms a-priori is bound to knowify connections
    between absurd physical numerology as methods as algorithms which fail to
    provide proof of the preternatural axiom P = NP. Thus physics is to be labeled as pro-dominantly immoral, illegal,
    and unethical until such time as physicists identify them-selves as nothing
    more nor less than alchemists, engineers identify themselves as nothing more
    nor less than apothecarianisms, mathematicians identify themselves as nothing
    more nor less than abacusaurees, linguists dido babelcoats, anthropologists
    dido animals, religions dido cults, ideologists dido psychopaths, thinkers dido
    psychics, workers dido slaves, rich dido poor, liars dido psychotic, right dido
    wrong, correct dido incorrect, genius dido stupid, large dido small, capable
    dido useless, strong dido weak, fast dido slow, timed dido obsolete, free dido
    idiots, illuminated dido criminal, law dido legion, this dido that, tit dido
    tat, et cetera.”

  5. Big Bird, Snuffles, and MK Ultra, replacing parsley with Equilibrium?

    • Dude, that’s the best response to one of those I’ve seen yet. it’s so cryptic I had to love it.

  6. I came to ascension, channellings stuff few years ago by chance. I read something and laughed at it, it sounded as complete bs, at least as fantasy. I never looked at any related materials again for several years, then I came to material which was not directly related to it. It attracted my attention, it was written logically and consistent to reality. Then I remembered that very very similar was in channellings-new-age stuff. It changed my mind. I tried to return to galactic tales. Interesting thing is that although there is no single source of reference, like bible, what people from completely different times and places talk about is very consistent to each other and very often to reality. That consistency amazed me, although I am as an atheist do not usually believe everything. Also the style of channellings was almost the same for different channelers. It was not definitely style of the channeler.
    I also studied economics, and believe me, compare to new-age stuff, economics’ stories are cheaply man-made fairy-tales, complete nonsense, which are absolutely inconsistent among different economists and with reality. Even though it has countless references, as textbooks.

    More than month ago channelers informed about April 11-12 solar activity. Now, you can look at noaa website and check what is going on today on the sun.

    • Thad McKraken | Apr 12, 2013 at 4:11 pm |

      Very cool,

      I thought channeling was totally nuts until it started happening to me. Even then.The info had to check out about a hundred times in a row before I stopped editing it out and started listening. I’m a fairly “normal” dude who grew up drinking beer, playing guitar and basketball, albeit rather creative, and the societal conditioning part of me that tells me this stuff is crazy is largely intact. I just had to get to a point where I realized: That part of you isn’t helping you understand what’s going on here. Just run with it.

  7. I received a similar message. Regarding the pain of the world. The music that comes to me is soaked in womb-themes… 85bpm, long organic cycles, rapturous oceanic harmonies. I’m giving birth to something. What was that the Greeks described music as? Maths in motion.

  8. disqus_5xVnaPCM0W | Apr 12, 2013 at 12:59 pm |

    Ey you shouldn’t feel crazy or anything. These kinds of things are happening everywhere to lots of people. http://www

  9. pacer882@yahoo.com | Apr 17, 2013 at 6:49 pm |

    Were you on crack When you decided to waste my time and eyes reading this crap?
    I would rather read about an alien crawling into your septic system, then up into your ass and exiting your eyes.

    Just saying

Comments are closed.