Abusive, Camera-Phobic Mall Cop Picks Fight With Wrong Woman

Via Information Liberation:

Depending on what side of fallacious authority you may have found yourself in the past, this video may either make you cheer or collapse in disgust. Maybe both? A group of people taking pictures on the very edge of mall property – pictures not of the mall, mind you – is confronted by a wildly out of control mall security guard. The guard demands that they leave because she says they’re not respecting mall rules. Reasonably enough, cameras turn toward her.

At this point, she actually tries to confiscate the cameras and then tells them to delete their footage. After that fails, the cop says she’ll make every single one of them leave one by one, and then puts her hands on a woman in the group. Things get real pretty quick. It looks to me like the woman knows some Jiu-Jitsu. I think I see a takedown, followed by a half-guard, transition to mount, ground and pound, an over-the-shoulder arm bar and hastily-applied guillotine but perhaps one of the more experienced BJJ practitioners here might know otherwise.

UPDATE: It appears that the individuals with cameras were taking photos of a truck that was overturned in the neighboring ravine. The mall cop has since been fired.

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  • Anarchy Pony

    What I wanna know is; why don’t cops(or security gaurds, whatever) ever get tasered or pepper sprayed? I mean really. Why doesn’t it ever happen? Or does it happen and we just never hear about it? Think about it, why shoot a cop, and go in for attempted homicide(or actual homicide) when you could use a taser or some bear spray?

    • Matt Staggs

      What I really wanna know is why the security guard just didn’t say “Hey guys, photography isn’t allowed on the premises, so I’m going to have to ask you to stop or leave” followed by a call to the actual authorities if needed. It’s insane, in any case, to think you can start a fight with half a dozen people.

      • Ted Heistman

        She must be new. I can’t believe they issued her hand cuffs. Cool fight though. Helmet chick needs to work on her top game. Mall cop pulled of a pretty good reversal.

        • Spider Jerusalem

          Mall cop didn’t have the stamina to pull it off. The chick with the helmet looked to be in better shape and a lot faster than the mall cop who probably ate lunch every day at Sbarro.

          • Ed Siwik

            Appeared to me that the woman with the helmet was trying to get out of it the entire time and still only lost dominance to the cop feigning surrender a for a quick second.

            I let my brother wrestle me to the ground a year and a half ago so that I could avoid hitting him, after an almost identical pre-fight confrontation which escalated to him attempting to ‘choke’ me, and to this day he thinks I attacked him… which is absurd because he is still walking.

      • Spider Jerusalem

        Because she’s an idiot that was given a badge and some handcuffs. Someone probably didn’t explain to her that she has no actual authority or power.

      • nozodurendozuuo

        mild retardation from fetal alcohol syndrome. I would bet money on that.

      • HCE

        Tends to happen in those with low self-esteem, who are given a modicum of power, or perceived power. Said power inflames an ego in need of shoring up, and things eventually get out of hand. An obviously low IQ and under developed emotion skill set comes into play here as well.

        • http://singedrac.livejournal.com Singe

          “I’ve gone MAD with… my moderate amount of power!”

          • HCE

            Heh, Kids In The Hall.

      • Noah_Nine

        its ohio man….

  • festernaecus

    God, that felt good.

    • http://twitter.com/TedHeistman Ted Heistman

      The sad thing is she probably makes just over minimum wage with no prospects of a raise or benefits.

      • Rev. Anonymous Squash

        …which does not justify taking it out on innocent citizens…

        • Ted Heistman

          True, but the PTB are very insulated.

          • Rev. Anonymous Squash

            PTB?….

          • Juan

            Powers that be.

          • Rev. Anonymous Squash

            thanks!

          • Rev. Anonymous Squash

            True, but not every underpaid security guard goes totally rabies on innocuous strangers for no discernible crime as well as demanding evidence of her own misconduct be destroyed, is all I’m sayin.( I’ve known a couple underpaid security guards, and they were in fact very nice folks)…. I’ll take my malls insecure from now on…

          • Ittabena

            Yeah, gotta ask that too. PTB? All I see is an incredibly stupid rent a cop here. Where do you see PTB in this?

          • Ted Heistman
  • Simon Valentine

    profile story hand & glove
    mall security? now fired? orders? obedience?
    being in charge is like magic
    it doesn’t exist
    and what doesn’t exist
    must be magic
    ha ha
    hahahahaha
    orders are command filters
    cheese graders
    and graders don’t grade cheese
    they cheese that it’s cheese that they can grade
    they’re worthless teaches anyway

    • Matt Staggs

      I yield the floor to the gentleman from Non-Sequituria.

  • InfvoCuernos

    I have a rule: never start a fight with someone wearing a helmet.

    • The Well Dressed Man

      Armor Class: +2, Headbutt damage: X2

      • Matt Staggs

        Save vs. Concussion for half damage.

  • Matt Staggs

    She will be judged in a food court of law.

    • Ted Heistman

      I lol’d!

      • nozodurendozuuo

        me too.

    • Spider Jerusalem

      Brilliant.

    • http://www.sacredgeometryinternational.com/ Camron Wiltshire

      Hahaha Yes!

    • http://voxmagi-necessarywords.blogspot.com/ VoxMagi

      This. Yes.

    • Jonathan Hairat

      I was literally rolling on the floor laughing..Brilliant :)

      _____________________________________________

      Electric Toothbrush Reviews

  • Ted Heistman

    Does she have a gun? I just watched it again and the mall cop looks like she is struggling to unsnap a gun while she is being choked by helmet chick. 1:54

    • Matt Staggs

      She’s attempting to pull a cannister of pepper spray from a holster, I think.

      • Ted Heistman

        Just wateched it again. She couldn’t get her knees down on the concrete, while she was in mount, because she was wearing shorts, so then she went for an armbar which allowed the cop to pull a reversal.

        What do you think? I just watch a lot of MMA. You do it in real life. what would you do? Cut your knees up a little for the sake of staying in top position?

        • emperorreagan

          Going for an armbar may not necessarily be the best option for self-defense.

          If you execute it poorly, it can be reversed. You also put yourself in a bad position where the person can use their free arm to grab a weapon or where you’re defenseless against a third person if you’re applying the arm bar with a “submit them” mind set.

          Of course, if you’re good at arm bars and are going to use enough force to disable the arm (break, dislocate, tear/strain, etc.) then it can be a great technique. You disable the arm and disengage.

          I’m not entirely sure she was trying to get an arm bar. It looks like she might have been trying to disengage but the mall cop wouldn’t let go of the shirt. She may have just been trying to salvage it when she couldn’t disengage.

          As long as the mall cop was holding clothing, I would stay in top position. You can grab a fistful of hair and bounce someone’s head off of the ground from mount.

          • Matt Staggs

            Good observation.

          • http://www.sacredgeometryinternational.com/ Camron Wiltshire

            Knee on belly would have been a classier/smarter move, pin the stupid mall cop to the hot asphalt, compress her lungs and heart, creating panic and difficulty breathing (non lethal) and you have both hands free to do do as you please and can stand up if she manages to get something off of her “utility belt” Downside to using jiu jitsu on the street, is if the other person has a knife, all of your moves require you be in stabbing range. Thankfully the cop is so untrained that the helmeted lady still managed to tie her up fairly well but if mall cop got her spray out it might have ended badly for her. She went for a near side arm bar it looked like and then went to omoplata sweep but let go of the arm (have to look more closely).

            My advice also is to control the wrists/arms primarily as it will nullify her offense outside of a knee (and no pepper spray, taser,gun action) which you could feel coming a mile away and thwart by off balancing them or just hollowing out your stomach and hips, to then gloriously swing back in with your own well timed spear pointed knee.

            Would love to hear Rogan’s street fight play by play.

          • http://www.sacredgeometryinternational.com/ Camron Wiltshire

            The trip was nice, and going right to mount, had some Shogun style hammer fists from gedan kamae reminiscent of http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDjh6UuKJqM this fight, sorry for the horrible music.

          • http://www.sacredgeometryinternational.com/ Camron Wiltshire

            Wrong clip, when Zuffa bought pride they swept a lot of YouTube documentation of that era’s most epic clashes. If you watch the whole fight, Shogun ends Arona’s title quest with the above mentioned hammer fists from gedan (low) kamae (stance)

          • Ted Heistman

            I tend to think I would have simply jumped the guard rail or walked off. I avoid trouble kind of the way wild animals do. By dispersing.

            But if you corner a wild animal watch out! The thing is its not so easy to corner them. They have an awareness of escape routes at all times. “lines of flight”

            This is actually not true self defense but more or a confrontation with a fake authority figure. Generally you lose a fight with a real cop, unless you are a part of a huge mindless mob and then its a shallow victory, IMO.

            I think 99% of self defense is not about fighting. If a fight happens it means you made several mistakes in a row already or were taken completely by surprise.

          • emperorreagan

            I definitely agree.

            As satisfying as it is to see someone on a power trip get whipped, neither party really had an interest in de-escalating. Neither the mall cop or the woman in the video were acting sensibly.

            That’s a sometimes downside to self-defense training, no matter what you pick – good teachers teach de-escalation first, bad teachers may never mention it. And it doesn’t help that someone she knew was shouting to throw her (the mall cop) to the ground rather than trying to de-escalate.

          • Ted Heistman

            Yeah the hardest thing is getting past your ego, or temper, etc. Running is actually pretty effective, if you are somewhat in shape, also apologizing or “de-escalating” like you say.

            But if I was completely cornered and had to fight my way out I would go for causing the most pain and damage in the quickest split instant possible and then get the fuck out of there. Eye pokes or gouges, knees or kicks to the groin, shots to the liver, utilizing random objects as weapons, kicking stomping, biting etc.

            It wouldn’t look graceful. And then I would run my ass off. I would do basically what a raccoon or a stray cat would do.

          • Matt Staggs

            “Most pain and damage” in a split second is why one should generally avoid fighting. Who wants a permanent injury or to even die over something trivial?

          • Ted Heistman

            right exactly. There are people though willing to throw their lives away for trivial reasons. I avoid them as if they are some type of natural hazard or disturbance.

          • http://www.sacredgeometryinternational.com/ Camron Wiltshire

            Yes, and Knife! Any untrained dumbshit can end you with a slice of an artery, definitely not worth it to play UFC outside of a ring with doctors just outside the gate.

          • Calypso_1

            I know some styles that teach that short bladed knife is justifiable agaist styles such as BJJ on the street since the intended outcomes of chokes & locks can potentially be fatal or result in maiming of a limb. Don’t know if anyone has tried that in court but ground guys should keep in mind some are prepared to cut them up upon takedown.

          • Matt Staggs

            I’d be very surprised to see that as a workable defense. I’m no lawyer, obviously, but from what I understand in my neck of the woods is that self defense is justifiable on an equal level – knife vs. knife, etc. It’s going to be hard to convince a jury that someone was going to choke you to death via some kind of semi-obscure martial art and that this was made stabbing them in the throat a reasonable defense. My neighbor has a buddy who was being beaten to the point where he feared for his life. He grabbed his pistol and shot the guy. Still went to prison for a long time. I don’t think that anyone who is willing to escalate from a fist fight to a knife fight probably won’t need an instructor’s justification. To be fair, though, I’m likely to assume that anyone who attacks me is putting me in a potentially life-threatening situation to which I should react accordingly.

          • http://twitter.com/TedHeistman Ted Heistman

            I the main thing I try to avoid is being inebriated around strangers (or being around inebriated strangers). I think that cuts my potential for violent situations by 75% or more, maybe 99%. What I learned from getting my ass kicked a few times tough (like serious ass beatings, broken nose, fractured jaw, getting stabbed etc.) is that fighting is no joke.

            So I don’t ever see myself getting in a shoving match that escalates into punching that escalates into a weapon etc.

            Some one told me that you shouldn’t fight unless you are willing to kill somebody. This was a tough guy that told me this, he grew up in DC, played college and pro football, 350 lb guy and knew what he was talking about. I think that’s the bottom line. If you think you are going to die then you have the right to defend yourself with deadly force. Otherwise there are other skills you can use to get out of the situation. I am not even sure I would rather go to prison for a long time rather than die. As far as dying or going to prison for 10 years. That’s really a toss up for me at this point. I would almost rather die. If I had to go to prison for a long time I just might die. I can’t handle working the same boring job for more than a year or two and that just about kills me.

            I think there was a time where guys solved disagreements with fisticuffs. It was like a peer to peer thing. I don’t think our culture is like that anymore. I mean highschool football practice maybe, maybe in basic training among other young guys, otherwise Too many unexpected variables. The solving things with fisticuffs thing is like social behavior, sorting out dominance etc.

            As far as a violent criminal trying to kill or harm you that’s something totally different. So in that situation its time to commit 100% with no hesitation. I feel like I could do it, but maybe I am deluding myself, maybe I need training. I tend to think though based on situations I have already been in that I could do it. I have reacted really quickly and correctly in life and death situations in the past.

            That “Fighter’s Heart” guy talked about how dangerous knives are on JRE and really made me think. You are pretty much fucked against a committed knife weilder. I have heard of armed police officers being taken out by a guy with a knife.

            I think though martial arts for me, would be like wrestling, a thing I do to get in shape and challenge myself. as far as ju jitzu preparing me for defending myself from getting stabbed. I don’t know. I am skeptical. I even think parkour may be a superior method of self defense, also sprinting. Some one corners you and tries to mug you and you scale the wall? Inagine that!

            GSP said he works mostly gymnastics and sprinting to get in shape. I see that as being really useful. Sorry for getting long winded.

          • Calypso_1

            If you train in methodologies that emphasies those natural animal elements of defense instead of ‘fighting’ you find out real quick that h.sapiens is a rather scary beast. It is harrowing to find the meeting place between animal cunning & human intelligence within the mind – Dr Lector I presume?

          • Ted Heistman

            I think animals are smarter than some people actually when it comes to staying out of trouble, avoiding “getting got” etc. dogs can can pick out potential muggers and rapists better than people can.

            Sometimes architecture is set up in a way that sends danger signs to the reptile brain. Walkways that appear to be designed to set up ambushes etc.

            I think 99% percent of stuff considered ‘psi’ is stuff animals do all the time for survival and most people talk themselves out of listening to.

            I think PTSD is when the amygdala gets over active and stuck in endless loops. But a lot of sheltered people seem to completely ignore this feedback.
            “Gee this guy looks like he is getting ready to fuck me up. Am I just being racist? Oh no! am I a bad person? I should smile at him a strike up a conversation so he doesn’t think I am prejudiced” said a person named Vic or maybe it was Mark.

          • emperorreagan

            I think people often confuse “looks intimidating” for that gut feeling you get when you know you should get away from someone, then feel bad about it. Then they question all of the feelings.

          • Matt Staggs

            Gaining a good knowledge of body language and interpersonal skills is very useful for navigating all sorts of potentially hostile situations. I’ve consciously used a smile and incongruously friendly questions to throw angry people off balance. Even verbal violence should be reserved as a last ditch effort, because once you get loud and abusive it’s hard to de-escalate.

          • Matt Staggs

            The first lesson I received in kickboxing was “Leave people alone.”

          • mannyfurious

            I already mentioned this in response to one of Mr. Heistman’s posts, but have you ever read any of Rory Miller’s books?

          • Matt Staggs

            No, but what you’re describing sounds great. I’ll hit the book store this weekend.

          • Matt Staggs

            I avoid unnecessary conflict as well. This was poor conflict resolution from the get-gol.

          • mannyfurious

            There’s this guy, Rory Miller, who has written a number of books on real-life violence, and he states pretty much exactly what you did here. He says that if you find yourself in a physical altercation, you’ve already missed several opportunities to avoid the confrontation. This is true even in cases of “random” violence, like muggings. He says there are almost always hints or clues that you’re putting yourself in harm’s way even in these kinds of situations. He’s got some really good stuff and worth reading if you’re at all into that sort of stuff.

            As for fighting with cops. It’s true that you almost always lose, but I think it’s weird. They’re mostly fat, out of shape guys with no long-term training. Last year my wife went to a “self-defense” seminar that was offered through her work. I went along because, why not? The class was run by two cops and I was the only male, so they kept using me as the dummy and I kept purposely fucking with their tactics, because, quite frankly, I was better trained than they were. They were getting pretty pissed that their shit wasn’t really working on me. Still, in real life, I’m pretty sure I come away from that kind of confrontation in physical shambles.

          • Ted Heistman

            I think I heard of that guy. Is the the one that talks about all these steps to getting mugged like 1. The interview etc.?

            If so I totally agree with that guy. He’s awesome.

            OK, I am not 100% sure it is the guy I was thinking of but I totally agree with this quote on his website:

            “It is better to avoid than to run; better to run than to de-escalate;
            better to de-escalate than to fight; better to fight than to die. The
            very essence of self-defense is a thin list of things that might get you
            out alive when you are already screwed.- From “Meditations on Violence”

            I learned that basically from hitch hiking around the country, sleeping outside and living in fucked up areas. Getting to be a tough guy and being an old guy seem to be two different paths. I chose the latter.

          • emperorreagan

            He and Marc MacYoung are the two I read:

            http://www.chirontraining.com/Site/Home.html

            http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com

            and the martial secrets podcast:

            http://www.martial-secrets.com

            Good information for anyone interested in self defense or for anyone training in martial arts with an intent towards self defense.

          • mannyfurious

            I think you’re thinking of the right guy. I remember Rory talking about, once, how to act if you find yourself getting gas in a shitty neighborhood and he was talking about watching out for people who want to “know the time” and shit like that.

            One of my favorite quotes is when he says, “All martial arts teachers train their students how to fight. Only the best train them how not to.”

            Rory’s the real deal.

          • Ted Heistman

            He looks cool. It was actually thinking of the other guy Marc MacYoung. 5 stages of violent crime.

            asking for a cigarette is a common tactic too.

            I never give money to panhandlers. Some are harmless but some can switch to mugger mode if the right situation presents itself. You don’t what panhandlers in an area recognizing you as a soft touch.

          • mannyfurious

            I’ve had to panhandle/hitchike/mooch several times in my life, so I try to be helpful with that sort of stuff, but, yeah, I try to conduct a thorough observations of the person and of my surroundings before making those kinds of decisions. I remember one time I was going to give a hitchhiker a ride and as he was loading his stuff in the backseat, I just got a weird vibe and changed my mind. I thought he might attack me right then and there as I told him to leave, but I was ready to drive off with his shit if I had to.

          • Ted Heistman

            Always go with your gut

          • Calypso_1

            I cannot believe the number of people that do not believe the asking for time/cig is an assesment by a potential perp.

          • mannyfurious

            I was actually one of those people in my early 20s, and I remember these kinds of situations happening several times back then. In retrospect, I’m genuinely surprised I was never perped on because I generally look like a fucking twerp.

          • Ted Heistman

            As far as cops fighting ability: They are fat because they are inactive most of the time. They have to wait around most of the time with nothing to do and then suddenly spring into life and death situations. I think they are mentally tough and have seen much more than most people and are used to dealing with difficult people. Most people they deal with are irrational and they are rational. They have the psychological advantage of having “right on their side” plus reinforcements, plus weapons, plus resources.

            As far as a trained combat soldier that practices martial arts in great shape in a one on one fight with the average cop The cop would probably lose, but its not designed to be a one on one “fair fight” the idea is to take control of the situation and restore order to chaos.

            Most capable people with their shit together support the cops. Even high level criminals don’t confront or fight cops So cops deal mostly with dysfunctional people. For now the situation is not so bad that large numbers of people are considering viable alternatives to a police force.

            The alternative is a much more grim prospect than the situation as it is now as far as most people are concerned. In a power vaccum people would have to form gangs or Clan type situations like they do in places like Afganistan, and Europe in the Middle ages.

          • emperorreagan

            Rory Miller is one of my favorites. He and Marc MacYoung appear on the martial secrets podcast from time to time.

          • mannyfurious

            Nice. I might have to check those out.

          • MoralDrift

            you are correct sir

          • Calypso_1

            Two primary rules that will let you come out on top in 99% of all situations.
            1) In a fight – walk.
            2) In a self defense situation – run.

          • mannyfurious

            Troof.

          • Matt Staggs

            Knee on belly suuuuuucks – at least to be the guy experiencing it. I remember the first time it happened to me, and you’re right, panic is your first reaction, particularly if you’ve never experienced it before.

            Joe actually did a commentary on this via Twitter: “She needs to tighten up her arm bar transition. Should have maintained mount. Always stay on top in the street.”

          • http://www.sacredgeometryinternational.com/ Camron Wiltshire

            Yes it does, especially when you can’t get out. Solar plexus if you really don’t like the person. Believe it or not you can pull off an inverted heel hook if someone gets sloppy with their knee on belly. At least I seem to think you can! ;)

          • Ted Heistman

            Yeah knee to the body that is how Overeem stopped Brock Lesanr.

          • Calypso_1

            If there is enough pressure on your stomach and they are facing you – vomit.

            Keep as much in your mouth as possible and spit in their eyes.

            It is off-putting at the least and at best hydrochloric acid of the same pH as grapefruit juice is a good endogenous chemical defense.

          • mannyfurious

            Knee to the belly and then a head-butt. With the helmet, the fight would’ve ended right there.

          • http://www.sacredgeometryinternational.com/ Camron Wiltshire

            She would probably have to use the mall cops shirt for balance on that one, would be the perfect time for mall cop to sweep ;)

          • mannyfurious

            In theory, yes. In reality, there’s a reason why jiu-jitsu often doesn’t work as good in MMA as it does in pure grappling matches: it’s hard to think about your next move when someone’s punching (or kicking or elbowing or, in this case, headbutting)you in the face.

          • Matt Staggs

            I’m thinking that the mall cop’s oversized shirt would probably rip or at least become unbuttoned in that case. That kind of thinking keeps me rolling no-gi. I can’t expect a bad guy to be wearing a nice karate outfit for me to hang on to.

          • http://www.sacredgeometryinternational.com/ Camron Wiltshire

            You know, I’ve not trained gi enough, but for street fights, you might enjoy the ability to wrap someone up in their own clothes, just think of it as extra handles. Since you are training both you won’t be dependent on the gi.

          • Adam’s Shadow

            Gi just makes everything easier: more to grab on to, more to choke with, etc. The only way I see it working more or less the same in a street fight is if they have a heavy jacket on, especially if it has a hood.

          • Matt Staggs

            A proper armbar takes a little practice. My instructor can pretty much destroy with them. I, on the other hand, would probably take my chances with closing guard, pulling her in and then attempting a leg triangle.

          • emperorreagan

            Arm bars never felt that natural to me, so I rarely attempted them when rolling while doing BJJ. I personally would never attempt one from guard, especially not on the street, but I’ve certainly seen people who could wreck your arm with one if they chose to.

            My intent with my previous comment was more that when you transition to a position that puts you at risk, you need to move through it quickly in a self-defense scenario. For people that could really damage the arm then follow it up with a foot in the opponent’s ribs to push away and create space after hearing that pop, I could see it being an okay technique for self defense.

            In the hypothetical where I replace the woman in the video, I’d tried to disengage, and the other person is still clinging to my shirt and I’ve got both hands on the single hand/wrist, I’m going to take the wrist lock and drop back on top.

          • Matt Staggs

            I recently saw a street fight where one of the guys destroyed the other with an expertly (and quickly) applied flying arm bar. It was brutal. The assailant dropped immediately, presumably from the agonizing pain of a broken limb. My first and foremost move is to avoid people who want to hurt me. Fighting, like Ted pointed out, is a last-ditch survival strategy for all successful species. I do pretty well with just leaving people alone and affording the people that I do interact with a reasonable modicum of respect. A smile and unthreatening body language has gotten me out of more than one bad situation. The prime reason I train is mostly to stay in shape and the camaraderie. Being able to effectively defend myself against an assailant is important, but so is not putting yourself in that situation to begin with.

          • emperorreagan

            Oh yeah, it’s certainly just playing a what-if game for this particular conflict.

            This conflict could easily have been avoided by either party. As it is, the mall cop lost the job and the other woman placed herself in legal jeopardy (depending on local laws, as in some jurisdictions private security can detain or eject you for criminal trespass, just as they can detain you over suspected felony theft) because she wanted to take pictures of what, a truck accident?

          • Matt Staggs

            I completely agree with you. Then again, I’m not so great anyway. I’ve only been training for about six months in BJJ, and a little less in kickboxing. However, I do BJJ usually three or four times a week, and kickboxing twice, so I’m a pretty dedicated student.

        • Matt Staggs

          If it is a matter of self defense then I’ll happily take some scraped up knees in order to maintain top position.

        • Great_Ape

          There are multiple aikido/daito-ryu techniques that are very effective in this situation, that enable you to remain in a dominant position and without inflicting unnecessary injury. Kata gatame, for example, will lock out the arm and put her face down in the tarmac with shoulder secured to floor.

          • Matt Staggs

            Aikido looks like a lot of fun, and i like the idea of using an aggressor’s force against them. Never tried it, though.

          • Great_Ape

            If you do, be warned that – like any other martial art – there’s plenty of ineffectual aikido out there….both ‘too strong’ and ‘too weak.’ But it’s not just a self-defence method – it’s a tool for self-realisation., mind-body coordination and changing your brain.

          • Matt Staggs

            I’ve read a little bit about aikido, and I really appreciate the mind-body coordination and self-realization aspects. I think studying any martial art in a mindful manner will bring great mental and physical benefits. I know that my work in jiu-jitsu and kickboxing have brought me a lot of self-knowledge. I believe that all legitimate martial arts (I’m excluding the guys who think that they can shoot chi power from their hands at people and stun them, for example) have something to bring to the table. One of our new students is a black belt in kung fu. Class has been challenging for him because he’s not used to the kind of high-impact sparring we do, but his coordination and athletic ability are both top shelf, and he’s brought a few interesting deflection and redirection techniques to the gym that a handful of us are implementing. He’s a great guy, and working with him and being open to what he has to teach has paid dividends.

          • Great_Ape

            I can’t disagree with any of that.

    • Rev. Anonymous Squash

      The bystander says “reaching for her taser”, i think…

  • 1captainhooker1

    That’s just sad…for all kinds of reasons.

    • Spider Jerusalem

      But funny.

  • Spider Jerusalem

    It’s a good thing they didn’t give Mall Cop a gun. She probably would’ve pulled it when everyone laughed her off for being a dumb ass.

    I think the best part is when Mall Cop thought for a second she was a real police officer and tried to handcuff Helmet Girl, totally oblivious to the fact that she has absolutely no right to detain a person.

    • Anarchy Pony

      Whoa, talk about weird coincidence, I just learned about Transmetropolitan a couple of days ago.

      • Ted Heistman

        good comic!

        • Anarchy Pony

          Yeah, I was gonna order it. Bowel disrupter needs to exist.

          • The Well Dressed Man

            It’s been attempted. I think Throbbing Gristle claimed to have successfully implemented this at a show in the 80’s http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brown_note

          • http://voxmagi-necessarywords.blogspot.com/ VoxMagi

            Hell no…where will the glory in war be with weapons like that? What would the medals be like? “Most Meritorious Dump In A Combat Zone”? *shudder*

        • Matt Staggs

          It’s a great one. I interviewed Warren Ellis on the DisinfoCast. Really nice guy. I was afraid he’d be a bit of a bear.

          • http://twitter.com/TedHeistman Ted Heistman

            hmm…I must have missed that one. Ima check it out!

          • http://twitter.com/TedHeistman Ted Heistman

            one year ago! I was working my ass off in the wilds of the Adirondack Mountains!

  • CosmicAmazing

    This just in – Fired mall security guard now hired by TSA.

  • Will Coles

    Classic example of a House Slave! Granted this was a jumped up little mall cop that became more desperate with each second her ‘authority’ was ignored but there are plenty like her on minimum wage that will do the dirty work of their owners, who actually despise them as much as the general public.

  • DrDavidKelly

    Any chance of a re-match?

  • nubwaxer

    i start to wonder if there are policies about still photos and video in the name of stopping thieves and terrorists from getting anything useful for a crime or terror attack.
    think of anywhere where large numbers of people gather as possible targets for an attack and you might guess there could be a safety concern, even if it is way overreacting.
    or the security person was making it up as she went along.

    • emperorreagan

      Malls generally have a long list of policies that, if violated, will allow their security to ask you to leave and allow them to have you charged with trespass if you refuse. The policies predate 9-11 and terrorism hysteria – usually mall security just used the policies to eject unruly teenagers in the past. Any terrorism concern is something people are reading into such policies now.

  • Casey D

    Too bad the only person with any respect for anybody was the guy that happened to drive up in his car. Security Officers authority is based on the fact they work on private property and are hired to enforce the rules or protect the interest of the owner. The Mall grants them the ability to work within the guide lines set forth by them. Granted she may have been a little over zealous. Maybe everyone should consider how much shit these people put up with to earn a living. Who were the others involved insurance adjusters or accident investigators. Or opportunists that took advantage of a bad situation to entertain themselves. Another disgusting example of why we are in the situation we are in today. Next time they would be better served putting their sister in the ring somewhere at least then they could earn some money. The only person that earned a pat on the back is the guy who did the right thing and broke it up.

    • Matt Staggs

      Security Officers have to be prepared for all kinds of dangerous situations… http://lonelymachines.org/mall-ninjas/

    • echar

      Nope, I think she got what was coming to her for being an idiot.

  • davakins

    I love her…teh boots and helmet and SHORTS!

    what’s happening to meeeeee?!

  • echar

    You give some people authority and they think they can throw it around. I am glad this idiot got knocked down a peg.

  • Bruteloop

    I don’t see anything funny here. It is just sad and depressing. The security guard is a fool and the woman she pushes is right…but everyone stands around watching. No one tries to intervene and break it up. One person even says “Don’t get involved.” which seems to be the mantra for our times. Two adults grappling on tarmac is a sorry spectacle. Mean while real abuses of our freedoms continue.

  • Ittabena

    I have a badge and a really bad hat. Respect my Authoritie! Can’t… seem… to get … my… tazer out.

    I think the woman in the helmet should start the talk show circuits. Well, they’ve had worse on… I’ll bet she’d be a lotta fun on Colbert Report or the Daily Show.

  • Noah_Nine

    for some reason i find it infinitely amusing when people take their pointless little jobs way too seriously….

  • Tuna Ghost

    is it just me or does anyone else get super embarrassed by the way people act when they realize their authority isn’t being acknowledged

  • Bruteloop

    I posted before but maybe I screwed something up. This is a playground fight between adults. Why is this anything other than sad and desperate?

  • http://www.facebook.com/peter.m.appleby Peter Michael Appleby

    This is how the NEW WORLD ORDER will end……in ridicule!

  • radioreview.us

    She should be named so that her next employer can google her before they hire someone his is obviously under qualified for any type of guard job.

  • http://slrman.wordpress.com/ James Smith

    While the woman acted correctly in defending herself from the assault by the insane mall guard, she was not that skilled. He punches were pathetic. Also her use of a choke hold was poor. The take down was OK, but her ground technique was non-existent. clearly she was not a Brazilian Jiu Jitsi practitioner. whose ground techniques are outstanding. Still she did well except she didn’t hurt the guard as much as she deserved.

  • Matt Staggs
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