• Matt Staggs

    Atheist tornadoes are the worst kind of tornadoes!

    • Rex Vestri

      They’re the best type of tornadoes.
      The worst type are the fundamentalist christian tornadoes!

      • Andrew

        Yeah, `cause when atheist tornadoes kill you you just cease to exist, but when fundamentalist Christian tornadoes kill you you suffer never ending torture in Hell.

        • Ittabena

          Ah but you forget that when the Atheist tornado dies it just dissipates, but when the Fundamentalist Christian tornado dies, it meets you in Hell as well.

  • Liam_McGonagle

    This may come as no surprise to anyone else, but I was surprised to find that Blitzer writes under a pseudonym for the Yedioth Ahronoth, widely regarded as the porpaganda arm of Israel’s Kadima Party.

    I’m just shocked that supposedly credible media institutions like CNN (*cough* *cough*) allow their journalists to engage in partisan politics.

    • kowalityjesus

      it is such a surprise. who could possibly take this stodgy charlatan at face value?

    • Ittabena

      Not a surprise, but good to know. Did you know that we have, with the help of MI6, been spying and wiretapping on these groups since the end of WWII? We needed MI6 to avoid Congressional ban on domestic wiretaps and for plausible dependability. Bartenders in the Langley area probably know some with British accents who are minding the lines to this day, though the guilty parties would never mention that across the bar.

      See; Secret War Against The Jews, by Aarons and Loftus.

      Makes you think about what side of the typewriter Wolf is working when he writes for them. Do you know his pseudonym?

  • echar

    This is awkward overload.

    • Matt Staggs

      Yeah, I think I saw it on Reddit’s “Cringe” subreddit recently.

  • ParanoidCoast

    If she lives in Oklahoma, she must be a Christian, right? Moron overload.

  • Will Coles

    It’s weird that as a ‘news’ journalist he assumes that she should publicly thank the lord for an action she took. The indoctrination is strong in this one…& many others!

    • David Duke-Astin

      well, virtually all news outlets pander to religion in this way, often advocating for prayer.

  • BrianApocalypse

    God sends tornado…

    …Thank the lord for not being killed by God’s tornado….

    Kind of implies that the people who died were targeted by him.

    God doesn’t do precision strikes!

    • InfvoCuernos

      I thought tornadoes were god’s drones.

      • Ittabena

        Lol

  • smooth_operator

    God bless CNN! God bless Wolf Blitzer! God bless ‘Murica!

  • BuzzCoastin

    that’s a woman with a lot of hutzpa
    her house gets destroyed but she survives due to a split second decision
    and she doesn’t thank God for destroying her house or sparing her life
    instead she admits that she doesn’t even believe in God on national TV
    whose audience consists of God’s special warriors
    that’s balls

    • Ittabena

      I just talked to Wolf. She was supposed to thank God for the split second decision that He sent her right after He sent the tornado to wipe out the town.

      Wolf took this hard since CNN felt he should have taken the time to screen this woman ahead of time. So hard, in fact, that he went on a bender. But that’s OK because he thanked God for the booze, and the hooker who stole his CNN lapel pin. However he did neglect to thank God for the hangover He sent Wolf with the booze.

      Nothing but heretics as far as the eye can see!

      By the way, Wolf said to tell you that our bus tickets to the infernal region were waiting for us to pick them up.

      • kowalityjesus

        freakin lol

        • Ittabena

          Thank you but the credit belongs to Mr. Twain. I had just watched the Ken Burns series again and was inspired.

  • bobbiethejean

    I’ve never understood how anyone could praise god for surviving a natural disaster. It takes a special kind of narcissism and self-centeredness……..

    • David Duke-Astin

      yes. i thought the better question is why god, who makes the weather after all, kills so many of this followers, even when they pray to him not to. god is also a self-centered narcissist.

  • Mike Wahoski

    You gotta thank the lord, you DO thank the lord… right?

    • Noah_Nine

      yeah…. that seems fishy in some way….

  • Frushtrated

    Comedian Doug Stanhope put up a Kickstarter-esque program up at Indiegogo to support this lady and help her family get back on their feet. http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/atheists-unite?c=home

  • Frushtrated

    Comedian Doug Stanhope set up a Kickstarter-esque fundraiser through Indiegogo to raise money for this lady and her family. Google “Atheists Unite Indiegogo” to contribute.

  • http://www.facebook.com/H15.M1N3.0UR5 Stephanie Renee

    The difference between Atheists and Christians, “I don’t blame anybody for thanking the lord”. She doesn’t share those beliefs but is respectful of them.

  • Noah_Nine

    i always thought wolf blitzer was a cool name…. it’s better than dick buttkiss….

  • geminihigh

    Keep in mind that this esteemed “journalist” walked away with negative points on celebrity Jeopardy. Gotta love Wolf “the Zionist” Blitzer

  • atikinson

    You should try living in Boston.

    A good friend of ours is a Congregationalist.

    Congregationalist, for those who don’t know, are like what a liberal
    hippy thinks Jesus was like. They are just accepting hippies who like,
    you know, also believe in God. They are cool with the gay and have
    rainbow flags on their churches, don’t want to shove their crosses
    down your throat, like a nice separation of church and state, and are
    all around chill folks as far from a fire and brimstone bigot as you can
    get.

    Anyways, our poor devoutly Congregationalist friend hangs out with us
    on occasion. He will quietly sip his one beer for the night and look
    mildly uncomfortable when trying to choke out anything
    even remotely sexual, foul, or obscene. He is just an epic good dude.
    All who meet him universally on this fact.

    On more than one occasion, a bunch of us godless liberal
    hippie atheist will get to trash talking religion for one reason or
    another, and our poor Christian friend will just quietly sit through it
    and occasionally helpfully point out particularly stupid passages in
    bible for us mock without mentioning to the folks that he is a full on
    Believer, with a capital B. The folks at the table who do know that he
    is a believer will desperately try and subtly divert the conversation,
    wincing with each sweeping swing at the stupid of religion. Everyone
    just sort of assumes that young educated folks chilling in a
    indie/hipster pub in Boston are godless heathens, and so have no fear of
    offending. This is generally a safe assumption.

    Later, we tell the godless heathens who didn’t know that that, um,
    that quieter thoughtful dude was a full on believer. They generally
    curse themselves and are surprised by the fact that he didn’t appear to
    be trying to wildly impale non-believers, non-virgins, and gays with a
    cross, as Christians are well known to do.

    My point? Godless atheist can be kind of assuming dicks too, given a
    place where godless Pastafarians outways baptist by a large margin.

    ___________
    Acne Cyst

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