Dennis Rodman to Barack Obama: “I’m in charge now.”

Declaring that President Obama “can’t do shit,” flamboyant former professional basketball player Dennis Rodman has told TMZ he will personally be taking over negotiations to free Kenneth Bae, the American imprisoned in North Korea.

“Obama? F**k him!” Rodman told a TMZ stringer before announcing he would be returning to the reclusive nation soon for another meeting with National Defense Commission chairman Kim Jong-un. (Rodman had earlier met with Chairman Kim during a February visit to Pyongyang with the Harlem Globetrotters. Kim is reportedly a fan of the Rodman-era Chicago Bulls.)

Rodman decided to take over negotiations for Bae’s release early last week following an open request to him from the Seattle Times. (For his part, Barack Obama has repeatedly told Rodman to back off.)

After Dennis Rodman as President, what would be your dream team administration of washed-up 1990s celebrities? Maybe Dustin Diamond as Secretary of Defense? Jason Priestly as Attorney-General? Hillary Clinton as Secretary of State?  

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  • Chaos_Dynamics

    President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho.

    • DeepCough

      Viva El Presidente Camacho!

      • Chaos_Dynamics

        El Presidente Camacho: Shit. I know shit’s bad right now, with all that starving bullshit, and the dust storms, and we are running out of french fries and burrito coverings. But I got a solution.

        South Carolina Representative # 1: That’s what you said last time, dipshit!

        South Carolina Representative # 2: Yeah, I got a solution, you’re a dick! South Carolina, what’s up!”

  • doodahman

    Washed up celebrity? He’s an athlete with five rings. You know any 55 year old NBA players? Comparing him to some doofus singer is a bad joke.

    • kowalityjesus

      I you have more STDs than rings, you count as washed up.

  • Juan

    WTF is this? Life imitating bad art? Some surreal psyop? Some spook’s idea of a joke?

  • cattlemutilation

    Doesn’t this actually violate a TON of laws. I mean private citizens are not allowed to engage in diplomacy.

    • Hadrian999

      couldn’t do any more harm than the government

    • Hadrian999

      couldn’t do any more harm than the government

  • echar

    Send in Bieber, maybe they will keep him. They may take that as an act of war though.

  • Greasy

    i’d send over hacksaw jim duggan. he’d just have to wave his 2×4 in the air and soon enough he’d have everyone chanting “USA! USA!” then he’d hit kim jong un with his 2×4 and everyone would cheer and then they’d all buy levis and build a mcdonalds and raise a cold glass of coca cola to freedom.

    • echar

      That brought a ultra manly single tear to my eye.

      ‘MURICA!

  • Jen L

    If you’re going to make fun of an accomplished woman like Hilary Clinton in a lame and sexist partisan jab, the least that you could do is spell her name right. She is an accomplished woman in her own right, despite your implication, and to diminish that in favor of treating her as an attachment to her husband is shameful.

    • http://www.facebook.com/slangingraphics Brian Daley

      do you not READ ANYTHING on this website? lolololol

    • eric82

      “If you’re going to make fun of an accomplished woman like Hilary Clinton
      in a lame and sexist partisan jab, the least that you could do is spell
      her name right.”

      It’s rather misogynist of you to spell Secretary Clinton’s name with only one “L” instead of with two Ls as she spells it (see: http://history.state.gov/departmenthistory/people/clinton-hillary-rodham). You should apologize for engaging in hatemongering.

      • Jen L

        Oh look. The MRAs are here for their gaslighting deflection attempts.

        Yes, I do read the articles on this site quite often. They are rarely blatantly misogynistic, as that “joke” was.

        Sorry that I’m not stupid enough to fall for your poor logic. Perhaps you guys should read this site more, since it tends to teach critical thinking skills.

      • Matt Staggs

        Check your spelling privilege! ;)

    • InAwe

      Lets not start defending Hilary Clniton.
      Not worth defending.
      Not worth attaching ‘accomplished woman’

      Critical thinking should clarify this misconception about Hliary right up :)

    • option30

      Do you know how many times she had blow wee Billys Willy to get that job ?

  • http://www.scottsdesk.net/ Scott Winterstein

    @cattlemutilation:disqus , while it may be against a law…. just how many private citizens or movie stars for that matter, have not been used in the past to further a diplomatic solution to a diplomatic issue… I mean what if Rodman was, showing in the Press as anti Obama, so as to get the guy released… think beyond the tip of you nose, and sometimes…

  • BuzzCoastin

    Who says Amerikan politics isn’t show biz?

  • BILL NOPPER

    Rodman for President? I’ll be on the next plane to Australia!