Michele Bachmann Urges Followers to Engage in Spiritual Warfare to Spread Right-Wing Message

Via RightWingWatch.org:

Michele Bachmann’s here with God’s hit list.

You see if we retreat from our values and fail to make the case on issues like marriage – because it is one man, one woman – because God said it is. Not because it’s poll tested – because God said it is. And life – not because it’s poll tested, because God stands for life. He made us in his image and likeness. And if we tread too softly on issues, like taking on Islamic jihad, and if we fight too timidly, and if we strive too meekly, then I think we all understand we very easily could come face to face with defeat, and then our nation would in fact pay a great and a lasting price, one that none of us wants to face.

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  • echar

    Great advice!

    *creates a voodoo doll of crazy eyes Bachman and throws it in the garbage*

    • Simon Valentine

      hahaha i possess a voodoo doll
      any ideas to assist calculation of where to needler it?

      • echar

        The mouth!

        • Simon Valentine

          done

          • echar

            bwahahahaha

          • Rhoid Rager

            Who’s doing all the hating downvotes on ya, echar?

          • Simon Valentine

            yeah there’s brownout trolls afoot in yonder hills
            cyclops? azrael? “stay shrewd my friends.”
            *picture of XX of Nimh starring as Fievel*

          • Calypso_1

            There are a few of us receiving such affections.

          • kowalityjesus

            it is one of the highest compliments, no? lol!

          • Calypso_1

            a rather singular obsession bordering on erotomania.

          • Calypso_1

            oh that was an easy down vote was it not?
            enjoy not thinking about me when you touch yourself.
            ….see if you can keep away from your special little need on that one.

          • Calypso_1

            Your trying sooo hard. That’s quite appealing.

          • Simon Valentine

            *whistle whistle*
            “ghost buster”
            “you’re the one”
            “you make forum time lots of fun”
            aand more lyrics haven’t exceeded my o variable range such that they are loading, whether that be even, odd, or infinite … must be a glitch

          • echar

            I have no idea, but it’s cute.

  • jnana

    and lets take Jesus’ message of giving everything to the poor and abandoning this world, seriously, too.
    by the way, he also said the meek will inherit the earth

    • BuzzCoastin

      > by the way, he also said the meek will inherit the earth

      so does Game Theory
      we just have to wait for the agro people to kill themselves off
      but that could take awhile without a war or two

      • Simon Valentine

        Parando’s Stilt House vs. “I am the cornerstone”

        Simon Bar Sinister references again? o.0

        • BuzzCoastin

          Pige pas

          Understudy my understandings, Sostituda,
          and meek thine compline-ment, gymnufleshed.

          • Simon Valentine

            oh sorry
            Parando’s Paradox, but as a version that is not merely 2 losing strategies together in time to form a winning strategy, but rather, an entire house of such. linear, geometric, etc. let me see if i can dig up some work on it.

            also, [two losing strategic parables vs. the stolid cornerstone statement] as Jesus hitting himself, turning his cheek on himself, and hitting that one too, then realizing that Edward Norton did a better job of it.

            i am ‘not’ Simon Bar Jesus, but i’ll double him and ante the Christ.

          • BuzzCoastin

            game theory was a part of B’school edumacation in the 90’s
            Parando’s Paradox was built into several game experiments
            it was designed to stimulate creative thinking
            and to recognize logarithmic thinking

            once you understand how rats seek cheese in a maze
            it’s not that hard to herd rats with cheese
            hence, Michele the Cheesehead

          • Simon Valentine

            yeah, anderson blueprints are never always wrong so much as blue cheese
            *wink*, goes the bearded cobbler
            “this glue isn’t made for hats”
            “but i’ll sell you an urn pieced back together with their glue”

            logarithmic thinking you say?
            Equilibrium detector?

            process of elimination, process of apprenticeship
            and the lack(s) thereof in the states, respectively

            so, for who to recognize logarithmic thinking?
            “to create a prodigy” as an inevitable solution?
            just squeezing more juice out like Mike.
            Lucy said hi, asked about Binary Search and JPEG.

            i never did mention that i developed the factoring equations from logarithms? blast. i directly evolved it from Slide Rules. figured they’d just light up like a xx mass tree if they were given E juice at just the right interval(s). but they told me “we don’t built them that big”. so i made a ‘fake’ one.

            *edit* my brain to mouth filter went out again.
            filter had this one song…
            maybe it’s gang
            recognize as a declension of respect, Jaws style
            Laws style
            orthodox

          • BuzzCoastin

            the first biz game I played was a commodity trading program
            I was told I was playing against two classmates
            but I was playing against a simple algorithm
            which I didn’t figure out until they told me
            it kicked my ass because I was too aggressive

          • Simon Valentine

            hmm now that’s intelligent schooling, beats learning from crack dealing, pun extended? >.< *close my eyes, play the jester, shrink, and not watch*

            mind to medium to mind as an algorithm to acquire algorithms, determination, tractability. sometimes i wonder about an abstract lightning rod effect. simple to raise a lightning rod higher than computer, yet the process of heuristic to do so considering that per se no one actually knows about any reality the metaphor references is perhaps itself an exception game? way to cause electronic magical tricks so to speak. i remember taking tests and there came a time i also used "alright so if i was designing this test which one would i choose" sort of "become the teacher" or "copy" effect. sort of a mystical realm also known as bullshit, but really that's semantics to me. anyway, you really got me goin now. i've got hours and hours in strategy games. and other video games. i find it despondent that so many in the states self-destruct with aggression and whatnot. it's really a whole new outlook vision on domestic terrorism to me. Fallen Maniacs from Diablo III included.

            *edit*
            lastly, when doing math 'socially', with multiple people 'working on it' or 'trying', it's absurd how many collisions occur. so i calmly retract my tendrils into my mind and … well it's never the same.

          • BuzzCoastin

            > no one actually knows about any reality

            yeah, it’s possible to know reality
            as long as you don’t mistake it for REALITY

          • Simon Valentine

            hahahaha as an lol and some chuckles
            per se Charles isn’t quite as condescending as Wonka
            so not nearly as fun
            probably got invaded, easily
            like a protractor in a candy store
            “i’d like to purchase the candy knuckles and donate to anarchy, please.” “yes sir yes sir three tax buckets!”
            like so many minds spilling down and down
            damn
            damn
            damn
            all so characteristically different
            all so n-body problematic
            Stinkfist!
            must have been jelly belly brand
            act union suffix al, ly, i’m her she’s me, i know
            just let me eat the mushrooms
            one more time

          • Simon Valentine

            ?SP?

            Parrondo’s Stilt House

            On consideration of direct coin, one may consider a
            scales, and on one side of the scales 1 pound, and on the other side, Parrondo’s mechanism with two quarters, and totaling in at three quarters pound whilst the two quarters remain unchanged. Finally, in regards to the original paradox, one need not comprehend a damn bit of it to see that the pound is guilty of all that may be done with the two quarters until such as is the case that the pound is not only not guilty, but also the lesser of the balance. In fact, we live this way more often than we know. Some call it happiness, childish, irrational, imaginary, skill, luck, profession, professional, experience, lies, deceit, math, philosophy, impossible, etcetera – we haggle, we bargain, and we fail – all as incessantly as can be. These failures themselves as an entirety of system are Parrondo’s stilt house. PSH!

            I do believe a few owe apologies to dear Pythagoras, for how is one to determine ‘smallest unit’ if not to begin upon a false axiom or to illegally convert dear Pythagoras’ entrusted intellectual property? To speak of ‘pure energy’ or ‘aether’ or ‘the unatainable’ or … well. I’d say we’re quite before we even began, then.

      • kowalityjesus

        prisoner’s dilemma goes a bit further…the soul-lessly reciprocative will eventually build the greatest harmony…Jesus goes one step even further, fuck everyone who hates you with love….

        • BuzzCoastin

          Jesus seems to have second thoughts about that
          in the Book of Revelation

          • jnana

            theres a time for everything…

        • Calypso_1

          Fuck them w/ burning coals upon their heads.

          • kowalityjesus

            as i say not as i do

    • echar

      From my perspective, the most important are love thy enemies, and love one another. Almost completely overlooked by christianity, not so much by teachings deemed heretical.

      • kowalityjesus

        cynicism towards orthodoxy only goes so far as iconoclasm can sustain itself.

        • echar

          In this instance, the orthodoxy is to eradicate that which is a risk towards power and domination. Utilizing false idols, icons, and fetishes. How else would they get the criminals, rapists, psychopaths, and more to destroy their enemies?

          • kowalityjesus

            I stipulate that Michelle Bachmann is a measly example of anyone that her ideology espouses. She’s an agent, whether she knows it or not, of the Devil. And I think she knows it.

            More specifically though, I would humbly ask for further explanation of your statement, if you are actually commenting on the institution of Christianity instead of just “the right.”

          • echar

            The church, Bachman is a fool using the church. Anyone with half a brain can see it.

  • Haystack

    What’s the point of taking on Islamic jihad if you already believe practically everything that they do?

    • Juan

      I’ve often asked myself the same thing.
      Also, they worship the same psycho, asshole god.

    • InfvoCuernos

      sometimes I wish they would have a Levant Religion Cage Match, but then I think about what the winner would want as a prize, and so my fantasy turns into an ambush.

    • Calypso_1

      Churches have split over what color of pew cushions to get. The Mohammedians don’t even use pews. The obvious solution is annihilation.

      • Juan

        I like the cut of your jib sir;)

      • Simon Valentine

        yeu can’t not laf as anarchist? o.0
        but what it’s not got to do with arches and their people
        is a hologram away from what it’s not got to do with nihil
        ACTION!
        *black hole charged with …
        COLLUSION!
        ILLEGAL CONVERSION OF ENTRUSTED PROPERTY!
        STEALING ILLINOIS IDEA OF BEING ILLINOIS!
        PURPORTING TO BE THE GOVERNOR!
        *
        CUT!
        sorry we’re fresh out of time to develop this episode
        the black hole stole that too!

        black cushions or taxes!~

      • kowalityjesus

        start with less pleasant people, is my suggestion. The fact that they guilt themselves out of violence toward individuals who are their ideological opposites* is reason enough to endure them until your specific ideology becomes dominant. Otherwise, ta, ta, ta!!! the blood of their martyrs might spawn a new revival!

        *bufu phony govt lackeys don’t count

    • Eric_D_Read

      Because bacon.

    • The Well Dressed Man

      It would just take one gay porno depicting The Savior and The Prophet as lovers to push the sectarian conflict completely out of control….

  • Juan

    “If we retreat from our values . . . ” of murdering poor brown people all over the planet for The Empire, “. . . then our nation would, in fact, pay a great and lasting price, one that none of s want to face.” Got it, this is okay with god, but abortion and gay marriage really pisses him off, and he will cast you into hell for all eternity. ‘Merca!
    Let’s never forget that she actually represents the views of millions of people in this country. This is why we can never have nice things, like actual civilized countries enjoy.

    • Hadrian999

      if you read the bible, god has never had a problem with genocide or imperialism

      • Juan

        Yeah, I know. He’s a total asshole. Therein lies the problem.

        • ⚔Christophuh⚔

          its not a “he”, its a “they”. They are aliens, and they dont give a shit about us. My 2¢.

          • Juan

            Yes, in the old testament there are a few passing references to the gods, plural. But, after the council of Nicea and in the popular imagination it is very much a HE.
            It, he, they, whatever, are/is total criminally insane psyochopath(s).

      • Reasor

        Ironically, the god of the Bible would have hated women in government.

    • The Well Dressed Man

      I feel a lot better about the Bachmanns, Becks and Palins if I view their behavior as a form of deeply cynical, yet effective, performance art. The slogans are coded to agitate a specific type of reactionary. What gives us thoughtful types the creeps causes raging hard-ons in the Wal-Mart demographic.

      • Ava

        Politics as performance art. Thank you, you’ve made watching that painfully boring drivel entertaining for me. Like turning the TV on mute and making up your own dialogue.

        • Guest

          Like giving it the old MST3K treatment. I whole heatedly endorse this.

        • Frank_Black

          Like giving it the old MST3K treatment. I endorse this completely.

      • Juan

        That seems like an excellent kind of psychic judo approach to these . . . whatever it is that they are. I just ignore them all together, as much as that’s possible in this propaganda saturated culture.

      • Calypso_1

        True, but coprophagia would still be less repulsive.

        • The Well Dressed Man

          Both schadenfreude or masochism are suggested by the fact that I sort of enjoy watching these trainwrecks occasionally. Beck is especially fascinating. His facial contortions, weeping on cue, and sheer glibness are perhaps the exact inverse of coprophagia.

          • Calypso_1

            For me perhaps the inverse in that the bile rises of its own accord into my mouth. Perhaps I could survive Beck’s spectacle more readily w/ a tank of N2O.

          • The Well Dressed Man

            I had to stop carrying around the mask and the tank, it was getting me into all sorts of situations with the neighbors

          • Calypso_1

            ; ) I’ve always fancied the Frank Booth routine myself.

          • The Well Dressed Man

            You’ve blown my cover, bewitching crooner! Where’s my bourbon!?

      • Rev. Anonymous Squash

        performance art?…might be good to streak, heckle, and hurl some tomatoes cream pies & rotten eggs! Ha!
        I mean, I do not recall ever having said that.

  • 100PercentChanceOfAFauxPas

    God does stand for life, but more importantly….love. You and your gay husband need to chill. Anita Bryant all over again.

    • Simon Valentine

      i just saw your name
      didn’t see it the first time i read your post

      love the name
      110% chance of arcane over unity, it has

  • dirtgrain

    God has chosen her. We must follow . . . because she says so, because
    she says she knows what God wants (how, within her belief system, where
    God is supposedly greater than any human can imagine, can a human know
    exactly what God wants?).

    • echar

      Money and power?

  • Anarchy Pony

    What’s that quote about fascism coming to America? Wrapped in a flag and carrying a bible…

    • Simon Valentine

      the poor thing about them is how easy it is for a likewise knowledgeable to help them stand off andor obviate their maliciousness, like Solomon and the baby momma

      *edit* in the days of Cuil, Whell, …

      • Ittabena

        You know, you are right. I googled images of the American flag and the only image that came up with inverted stars was an older version with a lot fewer stars. All the rest are right side up. As a former graphics arts photographer I know how to flop a photo right left, but you can’t do that with up down. Not without everyone standing upside down on the ceiling.

        So where are flags with inverted stars coming from? And why are they at a Democratic rally?

        • http://twitter.com/TedHeistman Ted Heistman

          Becauase….ILLUMINATI!!!!

          • Ittabena

            Now Ted, you know what I meant. I mean that’s the first response that comes to mind, but that wasn’t really the question.

            And actually that falls more into the witchcraft category than the Illuminati

          • Calypso_1

            The easiest explanation is that it was a manufacturing error. There are no inverted stars, the entire canton was sown on upside down.

            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RXqHtwOgkDs

            Notice the stars are on the canton prior to attachment to the field.

            If there was any conspiracy at all, it would be far more likely to be routine political operative hijinx to cause a fuss.

        • http://twitter.com/TedHeistman Ted Heistman

          Yeah why at a DEMOCRATIC rally!??

          LMFAO!!!!

          • Ittabena

            The first rule of anyone who would seriously use an inverted star – manufacture of a flag would probably fall into the serious slot – is secrecy. Now granted Joe and Margie Cornfield probably wouldn’t notice upside down stars on a flag if they started dancing. But Sgt. Dad would have, and so does his son, and he would have gotten real worked up about it.

            If they risked tipping their hand, they must not be too bright. So why would they take this risk. It isn’t helping them pull in any votes. so what would be the motive?

            Over to you Ted.

          • http://twitter.com/TedHeistman Ted Heistman

            Democrats are easier to fool. All you have to do is mouth the right words, support feminism and gay marriage and they will give you free pass to put in place the most austere neo-liberal policies imaginable, things a republican would never get away with. It possibly has something to do with Satan. Its not beyond the realm of possibility for me.

          • Ittabena

            As opposed to the Fundamentalist Republican Christians, because they were hard to fool?

            Psst, Ted, I think your bias may be showing.

          • http://twitter.com/TedHeistman Ted Heistman

            whatever you think.

        • Simon Valentine

          saw Hillary flag on google just now

          why not toss them on like sprinkles? whatever ‘angle’, eh? got me think’n. upside down represents particular stereotype? angle represents further detail?

          personally i always wanted to develop a star’s worth of candles waxed to the ceiling upside-down and yet burning somehow.

          point up is upside down!

          • Ittabena

            Can you find it again. Curious about who and where is posting it.

            Hey, we could put six pointed stars too. Then no one would know which way they were pointing. Or how about one and you have to find it. Where’s… well…

        • kowalityjesus

          It had to have been custom made. I guess it wasn’t obvious enough that the Clintons hold allegiance to Satan, so they threw it out there clear and easy. Here’s an unrelated gem that I think every conspiracy theorist should know… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rnkg-yCPryE

          • Juan

            It seems totally believable to me, but how do we know someone didn’t just fake that?
            I know if I were to show this to Joe mouth breather that’s what he would say, that it’s fake.

          • kowalityjesus

            I don’t have any primary sources on the matter, but couldn’t imagine it would be that difficult to verify. This has made its rounds on teh internets, and I would imagine that there are people still living who have seen it broadcast. If you can come up with any, that would be invaluable! : )

    • kowalityjesus

      its not far off… notice the direction of the stars…they have no qualms being brazen these days.

      • http://twitter.com/TedHeistman Ted Heistman

        That family is just so fucking gross. pure unadulterated narcissism. never occurs to democrats that there could be such a thing as a phony liberal, too. They see right through fake conservatives.

        • David Duke-Astin

          I’m not so sure about that. I think people vote Democrat on the issues and what they can get done. And the Clintons get shit done.

          I agree that they are narcissists and all of the other bad things, but it’s show business. Good people don’t go into it. If they do, they get crushed before the primary.

  • Ittabena

    My question is, whose gonna save us from the Michelle-ist jihad? She’s courting the Religious right. Don’t it make you feel all tingly inside, hearing all the Amens from the crowd?

    But it wasn’t too long ago that Michelle was going to town on a corn dog. Notice the priceless look. So… many… jokes… can’t choose…

    Here Michelle demonstrates that experience can always be seen in the eyes. It’s seems like she’s waiting for the mustard to come squirting out of the top of it, or something. I guess there is more than one kind of religious experience.

    Notice the expression on the man’s face in the lower left corner. Even though you can only see his eyes, it’s enough, and it’s priceless. I really do think that this photo should get some kind of journalism award. It’s as symbolic as a Brautigan novel, and it’s a random capture of a spontaneous combustion of comedy.

    • kowalityjesus

      I concur, it represents a big cock, and the photographer knew that. In any time before the 1960s this would have been taken at face value…a value to which I would prefer to return, but returning to innocence means giving up so much…think of the stimulus we would forgo! tragic.

      • Ittabena

        Yeah, to me the term PC means dishonest. Granted it is only a little lying, but I was always taught that things like honesty and honor have no degrees to them. Ya either is, or ya ain’t.

        • David Duke-Astin

          yes, it’s very dishonest to refrain from calling gay people sodomites or faggots. so PC

          • Ittabena

            Oh, please…

      • Matt Staggs

        Having been a newspaper photographer I can confirm that one takes such opportunities where they present themselves.

        • Ittabena

          And this was a photographer’s golden opportunity.

      • David Duke-Astin

        all i see is a big ol corndog. those things cause wetness here in Minnesota. especially served hot at the state fair.

  • Mylo_Abacus

    Getting to Know You Better

    If you had to choose the better answer, would these be your values … or fraud?

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