One Quarter Of Britons Say They Are Curious To Try Cannibalism

try cannibalism

A taboo urge lying just below the surface of society, waiting to bubble up? Tabloid the Daily Star reports:

Millions of Brits want to eat human flesh like movie cannibal Hannibal Lecter, a shock report revealed yesterday. Almost a quarter of us reckon we are “curious” to taste human meat – while 14% want a piece of ourselves fried to learn what our own body tastes like.

Even more of those questioned confessed they would be happy to tuck into their own body if a doctor safely took a sample from them.

The findings of the cannibalism poll for telly channel Eden come just days after 40-year-old Brit Geoffrey Portway admitted a US plot to kill and eat a child. He faces up to 27 years in an American jail after law enforcement agents found his home in Massachusetts was equipped with a steel cage and a child-sized homemade coffin.

  • Mark Cowan Jr

    It tastes like democracy!

  • Ted Heistman

    I am really open to trying new foods but this is just gross!

  • Andrew

    Note to self: Never tell a Briton to “Eat me.”

  • emperorreagan

    If I start a farm where I raise and kill humans for meat, will Monsanto sue me because they’ve eaten Monsanto wheat and soy products and contain fragments of the patented DNA?

    • Chaorder Gradient

      Yes, but i think that’s the only legal trouble you’d have. Monsanto might accept bribes though.

      • Calypso_1

        Or perhaps a nice tenderloin.

        • emperorreagan

          Watch for my kickstarter!

        • nubwaxer

          with fava beans and a bottle of Chianti,

          • Calypso_1

            In my neck o the woods we like beer n’ cole slaw with our long pig.

    • BrianApocalypse

      A bigger worry would be getting sued by the Annunaki for copyright infringement of their DNA sequence.

  • The Well Dressed Man

    Commercially grown cloned meat may be available soon. While definitely a creepy image, the harm reduction to the environment could be vast. At this point, would it really be that unethical to consume human flesh grown with no harm to the human?

  • Rus Archer

    is this another of those awesome “studies” where 5 dudes drinking in their backyard discuss cannibalism and 14% of them feel curious about it and they decide that’s an accurate scientific representation of the rest of the country and can therefore say MILLIONS want to eat human flesh

    • Calypso_1

      Refer to previous note about sample size.

  • Juan
  • flipdog

    is that your kickstarter?

    • Ittabena


    • emperorreagan

      All of my business plans involve making $69 per hour on the laptop!

  • Andy Beveridge

    What a load of crap – believe this and you will believe anything, If it said this about the US I would not believe it and you should not believe this (if daft enough) of us.

    • Ittabena

      Looking at what everyone else is saying, I don’t think you need to worry. Unless of course you are planning on using these jokes to make a living.

  • InfvoCuernos

    I know a guy that knows a mortician that told him if he could get a group of 6 trusted friends together, then the mortician could “obtain” a haunch for a barbeque, but that was years ago and I never heard anything so he either couldn’t find 5 other people or he couldn’t trust me lol.

  • Haystack

    Years ago I started a website called “Cannibal Club,” which purports to be a trendy LA restaurant where human meat is served. Not only to I get flooded with E-mail from credulous people who want to try cannibalism, I sometimes get messages from people volunteering to be served. Not once have I ever got a message from someone voicing moral outrage.

    The truth is, cannibalism isn’t as much of a taboo as is widely supposed. People just don’t have a legal/ethical way to practice it.

    • Calypso_1

      That’s you!! Sweet.

  • alizardx

    A new spin on ‘having a friend over for lunch’.

  • Douglas Hotchkiss

    soylent green happy meal at mcdonalds!

  • Ittabena

    So one cannibal looks at the other and says…

    Does this clown meat taste funny to you?

    I think about that joke every time I drive by a McDonald’s.

  • Christopher Ross

    Title should read: 25% of Daily Star readers say they are curious to try cannibalism.

  • rgtvandenberg

    Lies, damn lies and statistics…’almost a quarter’ is curious. I sometimes wonder what shit would taste like. Having ample opportunity to taste it, I still don’t. It smells pretty bad. Like shit, honestly.. Only 14% (of who? That quarter? Of everyone?) would try their own flesh ‘if safely removed’. 0% of this article pins down anything factual.

  • Chris

    I chew my nails and the skin around them. I don’t see how eating a sample of my own flesh is any different (apart from the fact that I would probably be needing it at the time)