The Conspiracy Theorist Glossary

300806jfkIf you’ve ever scoffed when someone told you that JFK’s second gunman destroyed the World Trade Center with assistance from reptilian extraterrestrials as part of a plan hatched at Bohemian Grove to corner the gold market before the return of Planet X, you’ve probably found yourself subject to a bevy of indicting catch phrases machine gunned at you so fast your head spun.

To help decode the buzzwords that form the conspiracy theorist lexicon, the Skeptic Project developed a handy glossary. Here are some highlights:

Awake: the opposite of “asleep.” Essentially, the condition of believing in conspiracy theories and not believing (supposedly) any government or “mainstream media” source. CT’ers employ numerous variations on the “asleep”/”awake” concept, such as “I woke up,” “You’re asleep,” “Why did you go back to sleep?”, “When I was asleep I believed…”, “We’re trying to wake people up!”, “A lot of people are waking up,” etc., etc.

Do Your Own Research: a term used by lazy CT’ers who don’t want to try to explain why they believe the silly things they believe. “Research,” in this context, means looking at CT web sites and watching YouTube videos that promote CTs. It does not mean reading books or objectively evaluating evidence to determine whether a CT is true. Example of this usage: “Alex Jones can back up everything he says. Do your own research! Read InfoWars.com!”

Enjoy your ignorance: thought-terminating cliché intended by CT’ers to make non-CT’ers feel bad about not accepting CTs. This is a condescending phrase used to paint the non-CT’er as a gullible dupe who is “asleep” (q.v.) or “sheeple.” Example of this usage: “I can’t convince you that 9/11 was an inside job? Well, then, enjoy your ignorance. I know you can’t handle the truth anyway!”

Sheeple: singular or plural term for non-believers in CTs who supposedly do not believe in CTs as a result of “brainwashing” by conspiratorial powers. Derogatory contraction of “sheep” and “people.” Example of this usage: “All the sheeple out there just believe whatever the government tells them!”

You lose: thought-terminating cliché deployed by smug CT’ers in debates to hammer home their supposed superiority. Example of this usage: “You think Popular Mechanics debunked 9/11 theories? You lose! The editor of Popular Mechanics was related to Bush’s cousin…”

Keep reading.

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  • http://twitter.com/TedHeistman Ted Heistman

    Its always interesting to me to what pains people will go to assert that simply believing what authority figures tell you at face value is sophisticated, whereas being skeptical and speculating about hidden agendas makes one a rube.

    • ersatz

      …and you can see who’d benefit from that type of atmosphere.

    • eric82

      Speculating about hidden agendas doesn’t make you a rube. Declaring, with concrete certainty, you have decoded and uncracked a hidden agenda (using nothing more than broad patterns with no evidence), makes you a rube.

      Alex Jones doesn’t speculate, he declares. And, if someone with a daily show on 500 radio stations owned by Fortune 1000 companies like Emmis and Clear Channel (Alex Jones) IS NOT an “authority figure,” you have a pretty high bar for what constitutes “authority.”

      • kowalityjesus

        Alex Jones has cried wolf enough to garner my inattention.

        • luther_blissett5

          Believing that all people who question official stories must be into Alex Jones-style strawmen makes one a rube.

    • BrianApocalypse

      I don’t see any trace of what you describe in the linked article. It’s a perfectly rational analysis of the most common language and terms used in conspiracy culture, written by someone who has obviously been exposed to a lot of it.

      It’s been my experience that the people who are most vocal about questioning the dogmas of conspiricism are also highly individualistic, and are actually doing it for exactly the opposite reasons you think.

      FOX news (an example of a propaganda outlet that really does try and make the viewer believe in the authority they promote) indulges in many conspiracy theories.

      The same author also wrote another good related piece dealing with the standard responses conspiracy theorists give to people who doubt them (including the one you gave).

      http://conspiracies.skepticproject.com/blog/39/the-usual-retorts-conspiracy-theorists-top-10-misconceptions-of-debunkers/

      • eric82

        +1 … great link … my favorite, that speaks to many of the personalities present in this thread …

        “Either you believe the conspiracy theory 100%, or you believe the
        government 100%. There is no in-between. In the mind of a conspiracy
        theorist, it’s not possible to question or oppose the government and also
        deny the validity of conspiracy theories accusing that government of
        wrongdoing; you’re either enlightened or you’re a shill. I find this
        phenomenon interesting because it illustrates the shallowness of
        conspiracist thinking and also, in a subtle way, the attraction
        conspiracy theories have for their followers. Conspiracy theorists like
        these theories because they separate a complicated world into black and
        white, good and evil, wrongdoers and the enlightened warriors.”

        • Monkey See Monkey Do

          It’s because they have that duality within themselves and they don’t know what to do with it.

        • BrianApocalypse

          It’s essentially religious in nature I think. It’s no coincidence that conspiricism and religion or some alternative form of spirituality are almost always linked.

          Muertos is a great writer. If you google “thrivedebunked” you should find one of his other sites containing similar material. I considered doing something very similar to him until I discovered his stuff and realized he’d already said most of what I would have.

  • ersatz

    History is not happenstance, it is conspiratorial. carefully planned and executed by people in power. – George Carlin

  • Juan

    WTF? Somebody must be getting nervous.
    This is yet another piece suggesting that anyone who dares question the official narrative is a deluded, tinfoil hat wearing, paranoid freak, showing signs of conspiratorial ideation. Therefore, it is CRAZY to question authority. Thanks, got it.
    I think “official narrative” may have also on their list of terms.
    If was not so lazy at the moment, I would come up with a list of terms, phrases or techniques used by the corporate-state propaganda machine to “manufacture consent.”

    • Matt Staggs

      Venture just below this post for an article that may be more to your liking.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mike-Castellaneta/100000556515249 Mike Castellaneta

    The Skepticism people have self esteem issues. Apparently the important thing about the possibility that shadowy intelligence services act under cover of disinformation is that there are some people who think they are smarter than the skeptical folks. Conspiracy theorists aren’t a marginalized and increasingly ridiculed segment of society. Nope, they are arrogant beasts who run roughshod over the delicate feelings of thinking people. Har dee har har har.

  • Hadrian999

    this should be good

  • nubwaxer

    connect the dots, take back “our” country.

  • BuzzCoastin

    a more valuable glossary of terms
    involves sustainable living and permaculture
    and not conspiracy terms
    only Uber Sheeple know all the conspiracies inside out

    • kowalityjesus

      it seems that oftentimes the more into conspiracies a person is, the more they enjoy frigging them over in their brain. The same as any person who has a sinful habituation which produces psychic food for spiritual devourers.

  • Aipeed Teaitchse

    Douchebag: The type of person who does things that benefit nobody in any way, and only serve to spread negative thought patterns toward fellow free thinkers. For instance, by posting blog articles bullying readers into believing that it is foolish to question the official version of any type of attack/suggest there could be an agenda behind it, ironically encouraging people not to doubt conventional wisdom despite the domain name. (Muerto literally seem to have done nothing else with this blog but be a skeptic of skeptics and debunker of debunkers. That’s their thing over there apparently.)
    Quote regarding disinformation: Usually the claim is made that someone spreading “disinformation” works for the government or other supposed conspirators. Often shortened to disinfo.

    Quit trollin’ me bra!

    (sidenote to Mark, try and show a little more respect for the travesty that befell the last truly great US president as we approach the 50th anniversary of that event. This is not a time to be cynical, it’s a time to demand straight answers.)

  • http://hormeticminds.blogspot.com/ Chaorder Gradient

    its funny because i could really easily imagine hardcore skeptics of any kind using statements like “Enjoy your ignorance:” and “You Lose”. sans content, i can’t tell the difference between the self-satisfied attitude of either side.

  • http://politicalfilm.wordpress.com/ polfilmblog

    There are no conspiracies. The government doesn’t lie or commit crimes. It’s impossible.

    Your “skeptics” sound like disinformation themselves. Because your guy sets up a straw man about 9/11, this proves something? I can respond with 100 facts of cover up by the government concerning the 9/11 attacks. I’ve got FBI reports showing Saudi involvement with hijackers. I’ve got the chairman of the Senate Select Committee on Intelligence repeatedly stating “foreign governments” assisted the hijackers. Those “foreign governments” are our good friend and allies. Two plus two equals high treason.

    But your idiot who labels himself a “skeptic” doesn’t know or accept anything contrary to his preconception. That make him an ignoramus, not a skeptic.

    PS – What’s Operation Gladio? Go ahead, run off to Wikipedia.

    http://wp.me/pwAWe-1HW

  • Michael Fitzsimmons

    pah ha ha ha they have a go at Vigilant Citizen too. I haven’t found any swipes at Mike Adams in there yet, but this is still making me happy :)

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