The Exorcism of Alex Jones

alexjonesDoes Alex Jones need an exorcism?

Last night I spilled half a bowl of SpaghettiOs on my favorite pair of Batman pajamas while reading a Reddit post about the infamous radio personality Alex Jones, host of his own syndicated news/talk show dedicated to conspiracy theories.

A real wowzer showed up on Jones’ Infowars website last week, claiming that not only is he the famous comedian and pop icon, Bill Hicks (who faked his death and reconstructed his face), but is also possessed by the 29th demon of the Goetia, Astaroth. The article was quickly removed, but a generous contributor on Reddit reprinted it.

If you are unfamiliar with the Goetia (the Lesser Key of Solomon), it is a medieval magical grimoire and who’s who of the most infernal demons of hell, complete with instructions on how to evoke and bend them to your will.

Here’s the entry describing our good buddy:

“Astaroth, a great and powerful duke, appears like a foul angel riding on an infernal dragon and carrying a viper in his right hand. He must not be permitted to approach on account of his stinking breath, and the magician must defend his face with the magic ring. Astaroth answers truly concerning past, present and future, discovers all secrets and gives great skill in the liberal sciences. He will also discourse willingly concerning the fall of spirits.”

Anyone who’s brushed up against Jones’ work will undoubtedly find this to be an apt description of him. Particularly the bit involving the halitosis. It reminded me of my own experiences with his program and my reactions to it.

Three years ago, I became completely wrapped up in the Alex Jones worldview. His sources were legit, and his seemingly wild claims about government conspiracies often proved true in hindsight. The recent NSA data collection that has made the internet so angry, for instance, being reported over two years ago on Infowars.com.

The problem was that listening to his show for three hours a day was making me a nutcase. The universe had suddenly become a very hostile place to live in, with the apparently all-seeing 1% hunting down my freedoms and destroying them a little at a time. I was seeing the Illuminati everywhere, blinded to all the beauties of the world. I had enslaved myself to the forces of darkness, and they didn’t even need to lift a finger (or claw, or whatever). Jones had led me into a universe where I was a victim.

Interestingly, all I had to do to escape this terrible place was to stop listening to his show, and let the rest of the world in. I broadened my viewpoint, and was rewarded with a shiny new reality. The facts that Jones reported hadn’t changed. The universe hadn’t changed. Only I had.

It would be easy for me to laugh off this accusation of demonic possession as the obvious trolling that it is, but it’s not so easy to laugh off the reality tunnel that I allowed myself to be sucked into. Demon or no, I really had created the hell I was living in, and it had stained my psyche as permanently as the the processed tomato sauce has stained my pajamas.

Follow Up: Thanks to the magic of lemon juice and cold water, my jammies are as good as new!

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  • Richard Vachel Lindsay

    Nice to hear a testimonial from another who’s come out the other side of the rabbit hole. Welcome. Tea and coffee at the table at the rear of the hall.

  • BrianApocalypse

    Perhaps Bill Hicks offered up his sense of humor as a sacrifice to Astaroth, and the energy released as it burned in his demonic crucible powered the transformation into Alex Jones.

    • HCE

      The other things Jones is missing that Hicks had: A big heart, some measure of incredulity, and the psychedelic perspective.

      • InAwe

        Precisely.

        That is precisely the making point of Hicks and breaking point of everything Jones.

  • mcubik

    right once again
    attack the messenger
    but ignore the message
    because its upsetting
    really
    tea and biscuits at the table
    more like
    koolaid

    peace

    • Anarchy Pony

      The point, you missed it.

      • Matt Staggs

        @BuzzCoastin:disqus
        won’t appreciate
        this interloper
        in his free-verse milieu

        • obsidianobelisk

          stanza bonanza
          but
          I regress

          • Frater Isla

            Here I sit
            Broken hearted

    • Cyprus Mulch

      Sometimes the messenger is the message.

      Jones’ heart-attack antics and desperate self-promotion obscure whatever value his sometimes-valid info possesses. It isn’t that he’s wrong about everything, but he’s wrong enough of the time — and in such grotesque and comical fashion — that he has made himself just another sideshow barker of the Spectacle.

      Would you like Daffy Duck to explain your medical test results?

      • kowalityjesus

        holy shit: amen, and lol

  • BuzzCoastin

    > Interestingly, all I had to do to escape this terrible place
    was to stop listening to his show

    nuf said

    • Juan

      Yep, the very reason I killed my fucking television.

      • BuzzCoastin

        it’s not easy to kill TV
        I did it quite by accident & unintentionally
        just before 911
        after 911 went down , I didn’t watch the Towers fall
        and I never watched TV regularly again
        & since I’ve spent the last 6 years in Asia
        I’ve completely lost touch with current pop kulture in aMerka

        • Rhoid Rager

          I was in Japan from 99-2006, and then made the mistake of moving back for reasons out of my control. After 7 years of punishment, I’m glad I’m back here now. But the TV here has gotten exponentially worse than I remember, and the pop culture is still fluff. I have mixed feelings about that, though. When I think about how violently the warring states period was in Japan with the Daimyo, I prefer a fluff culture compared to a militaristic one. It’s just so much safer. If TV is the conduit to stultifying the masses out of their violent ways then so be it. But then again, TV also has the effect of convincing people that everyone else thinks that particular way as well, hence the lack of revolution at the blatant fraud happening around the world.

          • BuzzCoastin

            the content of TV is different from TV the technology
            people often assume the are the same and have similar effects
            but they are not and they don’t

            TV the CRT technology is very involving
            the pictures are tattooed on your body
            (hence the tattoo fad for the CRT TV generation)
            you have to use a lot of mental imagination
            to resolve and fill-in the low rez TV image
            it puts you into a trance like state for hours at a time
            and it has a soothing effect on the central nervous system

            the content of TV is radio and moving pictures
            content usually has effects on your mental content
            ideas, memes, kulture, national identity
            TV technology makes one mailable and
            once you’re in a trance
            suggestions are easily implanted
            each country’s TV’s content are programed by “producers”
            (see Wag the Dog)
            one countries sophisticated programing is another’s goofy shit
            except Der Homeland’s
            which seems to play well almost everywhere

            large scale TV watching and LSD stated around the same time
            but MKUltra found TV kicked LSD’s ass
            and cut Leary lose

          • BuzzCoastin

            here’s where’s it’s going
            and Japan will be there first

            Here’s Why The TV Apps Economy Will Be A $14 Billion Business
            http://www.forbes.com/fdc/welcome_mjx.shtml

          • Rhoid Rager

            They made us read Baudrillard’s Simulcra in grad skool. i remember reading about all the criticism of it when it first came out: that it treated Gulf War I in a cold and abstract manner and ignored the carnage the US inflicted on the Iraqis. But i realized that that was the point. Baudrillard was saying that the Gulf War never really happened, because from the aMerikun perspective, it never really did. It was just images on a box; wholly constructed aseptically to present to an audience that yearned for justice. That’s the idiot box’s most enduring damage–the construction of a reality of justice that is never superimposed on the real world.

            Alternative journalism that shows dead bodies and wreckage is what people actually *need*, even if they don’t want to see it. It’s the shocking things that wake people from their trance. i’m skeptical of how long the consumerism bit will last. Yes, the marketing industry is fluffed and puffed up with tons of cash and is omnipresent in all different sorts of media, but that’s dependent on a thriving economy–which we don’t have. That won’t last. But i fear the social principles inkulkated thru mass media will endure into oral tradition for a few more generations. It’s going to take a while before we eradicate the heinous viral memes that have circulated since the start of the last century.

          • BuzzCoastin

            Baudrillard the French McLuhan
            Neo used his book to stash the program in the Matrix
            when the Bros asked him to help write Maxtrix 2 & 3
            he declined saying
            “The Matrix is a movie the Matrix would make.”

            the Vietnam war was the training ground
            for TV producers of news
            bring the war into the living-room at dinner time
            created the anti-war movement
            since then they’ve learned how to mange TV carnage
            plus
            TV technology has now changed too

            wee are living at the end of the American Dream
            it would be best if wee prepared ourselves for it
            while wee can

          • Jin The Ninja

            “The Matrix is a movie the Matrix would make.”

            my new slogan.

          • Calypso_1

            The Gulf War Did Not Take Place is a separate work of essays than the book Simulacra & Simulation which was published 10 years before Gulf I.

        • echar

          Authority porn (cop shows) are multiplying like gremlins. Honestly, there is a new one every month it seems.

          • BuzzCoastin

            I thought all aMerkin TV was pig shows now
            WTF CSI: Omaha III
            is a big hit now, right?

            gee, I wonder how Americans got so docile?

            List of police television dramas
            http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_police_television_dramas

          • echar

            The only current show listed is Fringe, but seriously. I swear there is a new one every month. Either piggies, suits, spooks, or something other to do about authority, their fantastic ability to solve every crime in a timely fashion, police brutality, and the awesome toys they use.

            There was one show that depicted police as being crooked, you know the realistic one. The Shield. I seem to remember reading a blurb about how some saw it as distasteful to show crooked piggies.

          • BuzzCoastin

            the cop shows in Vietnam are trippy
            it’s easy to see how stilted & contrived they are
            even if you don’t understand the language
            butt
            it’s the same everywhere
            and fish can’t see water & we can see air
            and most TV viewers can’ see the nose before their face

          • echar

            They think it’s entertainment, and oblivious of entrainment.

          • BuzzCoastin

            Porn and romance novels on taxpayer’s dime?
            Inspector general urges IRS
            to boost oversight of credit card spending

            wee could use some cops shows on this

            http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/06/25/19139793-porn-and-romance-novels-on-taxpayers-dime-inspector-general-urges-irs-to-boost-oversight-of-credit-card-spending?lite

          • echar

            God damn right. When I was living in Southern Minnesota, a piggy got busted filling up his off duty vehicle on county dime. I doubt he was the only one, I wonder who he pissed off.

          • alizardx

            Why not? A show about Navy lawyers did extremely well.

        • Ittabena

          We have all heard the old saying about owning a boat;

          “The second happiest day of my life was when I bought my boat, but the happiest was the day I sold it.”

          The same can be said about watching network television, but you don’t realize this until after you quit it.

          Now that I think about it the same can be said for quitting Alex Jones, except there is no happiness when you find him…

          • kowalityjesus

            no happiness, yet a lording-over satisfaction…hence “sheeple”

  • echar

    I had enslaved myself to the forces of darkness, and they didn’t even
    need to lift a finger (or claw, or whatever). Jones had led me into a
    universe where I was a victim.

    After spending about a year exploring ATS I came to the conclusion that the main ingredients for conspiracy theories are a lack of physical proof and fear. I am happy you have escaped the belly of the beast to share with us all your message.

    • http://www.sacredgeometryinternational.com/ Camron Wiltshire

      Not all “conspiracy theories” are the same of course Echar. I’d rather have folks afraid and aware than blissed out and ignorant. Of course, false dichotomies aside, there are many who are awake, aware and not afraid of what is to come having spent time studying and preparing. Understanding is the key to overcoming fear it seems.

      • echar

        No, not all. Some become real. The fear can cut both ways, remember that.

    • kowalityjesus

      I would also suggest that two important aspects that breed the conspiracy mind are: reveling in the idea that you have fairly exclusive forbidden knowledge and frigging through the evil scenarios that worst-case stories imply. Those sold me right good, and, together with light-to-moderate drug use, provided a stable platform to make me a stranger to stability for years.

      • echar

        It can be intoxicating. After observing the community for some time no, I have noticed patterns.

    • Ittabena

      I should have known you were an alumnus of ATS, as I am. (Didn’t you just hate Phage and his little worshiping entourage?)

      • echar

        I don’t remember phage, or maybe I didn’t pay attention. I was in resistance then as well.

  • http://joenolan.com/blog Joe Nolan

    Nice, thoughtful piece here. Whether through Infowars or other sources, the conspiracy theory gauntlent seems to be a necessary rite of passage in this little corner of the counter-culture. I’m not sure why that’s true, but it is.

    • Frater Isla

      Cuz it’s so sexxxy. I’m sure I’ll be lured back by the end of the week.

      • http://joenolan.com/blog Joe Nolan

        If you haven’t, read Foucault’s Pendulum. Ecco puts you in the middle of a conspiracy nervous breakdown.

        • Adam’s Shadow

          Chaos Magick can do the same thing as you alternate paradigms and world
          views. I made it out ok, but it helps to have tolerant, open-minded
          friends and relatives who know how to support you without enabling you as
          well. As a side note, it’s nice to see Disinfo get back to a lot more occult-oriented articles; I miss that particular bent of weirdness from the late nineties/early aughts.

          • http://joenolan.com/blog Joe Nolan

            On the most recently recorded episode of the podcast I do we were talking about what a great job Matt had done bringing the site back to some of the luster it had lost. Even the comments sections have become engaging and informative – who’d a thunk? Every would-be shaman wants to learn how to fly, but it’s important to consider your landing before you take off. I think any intense consciousness-raising exercise – yoga, meditation, drugs, silent contemplation – can leave you torn and frayed if you over-do it.

          • echar

            Amen Brother!

          • kowalityjesus

            holy fuck, that is real

  • Antediluviancurrent

    I had to banish Jones too (i.e. unsubscribed from his YouTube channel ). Though I never throw out the baby with the bathwater. Alex Jones has definitely brought and still brings some rather interesting factoids about how the powers that be operate, which makes you think twice about the world around you. But then again, so did Robert Anton Wilson for me and he’s a pleasant jolly bard instead of a raging paleoconservative Texan.

    • Spider Jerusalem

      Same. I gave up on Jones. Everything is a conspiracy to the man, and it belittles any of his efforts to shed light on real problems.

  • Ittabena

    >”The problem was that listening to his show for three hours a day was
    making me a nutcase. The universe had suddenly become a very hostile
    place to live in, with the apparently all-seeing 1% hunting down my
    freedoms and destroying them a little at a time. I was seeing the
    Illuminati everywhere, blinded to all the beauties of the world. I had
    enslaved myself to the forces of darkness, and they didn’t even need to
    lift a finger (or claw, or whatever). Jones had led me into a universe
    where I was a victim.”

    Oh yes! Testify Brother, testify. I will be warming up in the choir loft.

  • Greenleaf Stickybud

    AJ brings up some excellent ideas, but ultimately, he is a religious zealot, and therefore is limited in his thinking.

  • Cyprus Mulch

    Great post, Frater Isla. I’ve been there, too — I was a paranoid, ranting, dysfunctional bundle of conspiracy memes. It was truly hellish, and very difficult for my friends and family. Why wouldn’t they accept the obvious shining truth of the hopeless narrative with which I had allowed myself to become infected?

    But you made one error — Infowars seems not to be “dedicated to conspiracy theories,” as you wrote, but rather dedicated to conspiracy IDEOLOGY.

    The word “theory” implies speculation and consideration — the theorist’s awareness of engaging in a possible explanation or hypothesis. Alex Jones speaks with the rabid “certainty” of a total ideologue.

    • Frater Isla

      Ha! Good point!

  • Microhero

    Conspiracy theories are a conspiracy by the elites to keep you all from seing the REAL TRUTH!!! MuaAhhAHHhahHh hehheh ArgHAAAhaHaHAhaH!!

    We have a saying in Portuguese “With the truth shall you decieve me”

    • kowalityjesus

      that’s called disinformation…lol

  • DaWhitness

    His website was hacked obviously. He’s been talking about it for the past few months. Cool you guys don’t like hearing it from Alex. But I do, I like his message because he isn’t a pussy. He sees something bigger than himself and is willing to die for it.

    Big secret guys, nobody is ever right 100 percent of the time. And everyone is crazy in their own way because crazy is nothing more than a comparative to the “normal”.

    • Ittabena

      Okay, I don’t know if I actually have all this in me this morning but here goes. I will try to make this short. (Other commentors laughing at that one.)

      Back in the 60s-70s The Federal Government infiltrated all of the activist movements who were trying to bring an end to the war in Viet Nam, and bring about progress in civil rights. This is not to say that some of these weren’t violent and therefore should have infiltrated, but many were not of that ilk. By doing this they minimized the effectiveness of both types of groups.

      Today we have different problems and we have activists again. Alex is said to be one of them. Indeed Alex has reported on wholesale infiltration of peaceful activist groups himself.

      So, we are looking at a tactic that worked for them in the 60s and 70s being used again. Start an activism group today and one of your newer members is likely to turn out to be a Fed.

      Things have progressed a lot in the last 40 to 50 years, on all fronts of technology. And you must admit that the Oligarchical groups have enough money to hire anyone with any credentials to tell them how to further their aims.

      Now if I, or you, or Buzz can think of something, I think it is safe to assume that one of the PTB could, and indeed has, thought of it too. So how would you improve on this tactic we mentioned earlier? What would be better than having a member planted in a group of activists? I think it is obvious that having someone in a leadership role would be much more advantageous.

      But let’s not stop there, that was too easy to think of and came too quickly. Wouldn’t it be even better to have someone above the rank and file, or even the leadership, of one activist group. Someone who is not involved with just one group but can be as a beacon, guiding them all. Infiltrating each and every activist group would be helpful of course, and we can bet that they are and will continue to do that, but remember these Oligs do not have real jobs that drain them every day like yours and mine do. They do not have to punch a clock and most of the time they do not have to show up anywhere on time. This leaves plenty of time to scheme on how better to keep us under some sort of control.

      So let’s break from that for a minute, and think about something else.

      There is a very old and time honored principle in the intelligence community that when you are operating a double agent – St. John “Jack” Philby and his son Kim being two prime examples – that you must provide true intelligence for a time in order to get the other side to trust or believe in an agent’s loyalty. If everything your double agent reports is false it won’t be too long before the agent is neutralized in one way or another.

      You mentioned something >”He sees something bigger than himself and is willing to die for it.”

      Perhaps this is true, but perhaps it is not. The only evidence of this is what comes out of Alex’ mouth. Every once in a while he claims that his website is hacked, or I remember him once saying that Austin was messing with him on putting up a new broadcast antenna, but again the only evidence we have for this comes from Alex. In fact, several times when he has said that his website was hacked and down, I have gone on the internet immediately and had no problem getting on either of his sites.

      Alex has also reported from time with anecdotal stories that his crew members have been approached in bars by people too curious, whom he said were Feds trying to unnerve his “guys”. But again there is no evidence of this other than the story we are given over the air by him.

      Now, returning to our original though, if you were one of the oligarchical fortunate, and you did decided to install a false leader – kind of like a false flag, huh? – what would he look like? (Not talking about physical looks here.)

      Well, fear is a key motivator ( or demotivator ), and has also been used down through the ages. Hitler and Stalin both used it on their people both times to great advantage. So our candidate would do his best to keep fear alive in the people. Of course being a double agent he would have do his best to make sure that he was always viewed on the people’s side, and always be perceived as someone who was warning, not threatening.

      But there is one other thing that we, as Oligs would desire. We would want to be sure that our false leader never led his minions anywhere. He would not suggest that they call their Congressional leader and put into effect the 1300 rule.

      The 1300 rule is the ruler by which Congressional leaders gauge the opposition or support of a matter from the correspondence they receive. One, or each, email, letter or telegram they receive is multiplied by the number 1300. They do this because statisticians have told them that for every correspondence they receive represents 1300 people who feel the same but will not contact them about it. They will however remember it when they get to the voting booth.

      Now doesn’t it seem that any leader worth his salt would use this fact to their and our advantage? By encouraging their audience to flood Congressional offices with angry letters, this statistical multiplier could be use to great advantage to effect change. However Alex never even brushes on this one. Once in a blue moon Alex will mention calling your representative leadership, but when he does it is only in passing.

      In truth Alex doesn’t lead us anywhere. I have heard him say many times on his show that this is not his job. His job is to tell us what is going on, and that it is up to us to take action. From what I have seen Alex much prefers “mony-bombs” and DVD sales, but tends to shy away when the leadership duties come up. So where is this leader leading us? To me it looks as though he is leading us nowhere.

      But that is not entirely true. Perform an experiment. Do exactly what Alex tells his listeners to do, trace his stories back to the original. “Do your own research” as he says. i think you will be surprised how often Alex puts a spin on what he is reporting. it surprised me when I did it. Then I realized that because he says this, and because he provides the link back to the original story, most of us think; “Okay, he must be on the up and up.” We have time to read what Alex has to say and, but most of us have busy schedules being wage slaves and doing the research can become time consuming and require effort on our part, so the vast majority do not perform this validation.

      One of my fileds of research has been religion. This comes from being a recovering Catholic and therefore the Catholic Churches history is something i have spent a lot of time on that subject. When I was a Jonesie I would take issue with some of the more ignorant Fundamentalist Christian commentors. Several times I posted comments about the Councils of Nicaea and the resulting Ecumenical Councils where what was in and out of the Bible we have today was decided by this very Catholic group. I would also mention that divine guidance was unlikely since the same group, during the next few centuries, systematically committed genocide on their rival factions.

      Each time I would make such a response, the response was soon cut. This happened time and time again. Now I had been under the impression that Alex was all about truth, but I soon realized that Alex was more interested in his fan base and DVD sales, and even ratings than I had previously suspected.

      I was hurt but I was still in his corner, but I was also starting to do my own research. Then something else happened. Do you remember about four years ago – might have been 5 – one April Alex released the MIAC documents? I called his office in Austin and asked for permission to repost them on my site. Catherine Bleisch in Missouri took a stronger action and was inspired to become an activist. Alex featured the story proudly on his website.

      Years later Catherine and some other staged a 2nd Amendment rally in Austin Texas, and they invited their hero to come be an honored guest and speaker. Alex never responded to the invitation and the rally went on without him.

      This is what happened. The woman he is yelling at in the video is Catherine herself.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nMGRVqIz9ko

      Is it impossible that Alex Jones is an example of “controlled opposition”? When we hear Alex rant is it possible that this makes us feel better, and acts as a pressure relief valve, allowing us to go on with the smarmy little lives that we have been allowed? Alex has all these listeners so he is doing more than I ever could, we think, but if we look closer and crutically we may see that he is actually leading us in circle, keeping the fear alive and never, absolutely never even suggesting a solution. Just fear.

      He is a masterpiece, or would be if they had picked someone with a higher IQ to do this for them.

      Now, the first time I heard this it did not take root, but the seed was planted. Second time either. But always in the back of my mind there was something that wasn’t right. So you may not see the truth of what I am saying, but you will begin to look closer, if for no other reason than the desire to know if you have been duped or not. And that is all that I wanted to accomplish.

  • At Naught

    Alex Jones said that 33 is pi. Not joking. He isn’t smart and he has gotten thiry five predictions wrong and listed on this very site. Bing it.

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