Vatican Says Pope John Paul II Miraculously Healed Several People From Beyond The Grave, Will Be Made A Saint


Well I am certainly impressed. The Telegraph reports:

The Vatican has secretly attributed a mystery miracle to the late John Paul II, clearing the way for him to be declared a saint.

The Holy See has yet to reveal what the miracle was or where and when it took place but Vatican sources said it would “amaze the world”. It concerns the “extraordinary healing” of a Costa Rican woman who was cured of a severe brain injury after her family began praying to the memory of the late Polish pope.

John Paul II was beatified — the first step towards sainthood — in a lavish outdoor ceremony in St Peter’s Square in May 2011.

John Paul’s first attributed miracle was the apparent healing of a French nun, Sister Marie Simon-Pierre. Her recovery from Parkinson’s disease after praying for the late pope’s “intercession” had no medical explanation, the Catholic Church maintains.

  • Juan

    Well, there ya go. Who can argue with a couple of bona fide, genuine miracles?
    Perhaps he can do something from beyond the grave for all those victims who were ass-raped by priests.

    • Microhero

      I think he only got three miracles from beyond the grave and one of them can’t be to get an infinite amount of miracles.. You can’t just throw miracles arround, lest people forget to pray for them…

    • Thered3065

      мy coυѕιɴ ιѕ мαĸιɴɢ $51/нoυr oɴlιɴe. υɴeмployed ғor α coυple oғ yeαrѕ αɴd prevιoυѕ yeαr ѕнe ɢoт α $1З619cнecĸ wιтн oɴlιɴe joв ғor α coυple oғ dαyѕ. ѕee мore αт… http://is­&#46­gd/PSD7aV

      Would they listen if a few
      thousand people claimed he’d given each of them a horrible bout of
      constipation from beyond the grave?

  • just john

    Would they listen if a few thousand people claimed he’d given each of them a horrible bout of constipation from beyond the grave?

    • Juan

      Or a reach around;)

      • just john

        “I was whacking off to a pic of Pope John Paul II and my dick exploded!”

        • Rhoid Rager

          Who da fuck down-voted that nugget of lol goodness?

          • Juan

            I know, right?

  • kowalityjesus

    This is a well-known route to canonization in the Catholic Church. St Margaret of Castello in 1320 while displayed on a bier after death raised her left hand to touch and heal a crippled and mute girl to the astonishment of all assembled. Margaret had many miracles attributed to her as sworn by notaries and prominent citizens before and after her death.

    Hey also, have you guys heard about that the Shroud of Turin was retested and is now dated to the 1st century? I didn’t think so.

    • Rhoid Rager

      Shit just got real now.

      • Juan

        Oh, you’re bad;)

    • Microhero

      Wow! That shrowd thing sure changed my mind on all subjects cahtolic…

      If all the ill people of the world would start praying to the characters of The Lord of the Rings to heal them, Im sure pretty soon you could make them all saints too..

      It would still bother me though that Frodo or Gandalf would rather do a smaltime bandaid miracle like curing some guy from chronic diarrhea (apologies to all that suffer from chronic diarrhea) than to make the difference on a much larger scale.

      • kowalityjesus

        I rate your sarcasm a 4 out of 10

  • echar

    The one and only miracle I know that all Catholic popes have committed, is to remain in power.

  • jnana

    does god really care to make official saints?