Man Sues Apple for Addicting Him to Porn

F2_jordy_porn_550“It’s not my fault, darlin’. It’s my biological sensibilities as a male. Damn you, F**kbook!”

A Tennessee man is suing Apple, claiming the tech giant is at fault for selling devices that grant him unrestricted access to porn on the internet.

In a 50 page complaint, filed mid-June, former attorney Chris Sevier holds that since Apple is “concerned with the welfare of our Nation’s children, while furthering pro-American values” it should “sell all its devices in ‘safe mode,’ with software preset to filter out pornographic content.”

Per the complaint, Sevier’s problem began after he tried to visit “Facebook.com,” but — accidentally, he says — typed “F**kbook.com,” an adult site that “appealed to his biological sensibilities as a male and led to an unwanted addiction with adverse consequences.”

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  • BrainofJFK

    In other words “I can’t be held responsible for my own actions! Give me money!”

  • I_abide

    Can the judge just offer to let sensible people beat this guy until he learns his lesson… Sadly this would probably wind up in another lawsuit about how he’s now addicted to S&M

    • Calypso_1

      ….hmm, I wonder if we can sue lawyers for addicting us to lawsuits?

  • http://voxmagi-necessarywords.blogspot.com/ VoxMagi

    Based on 44 years biologically male…I can say that we’re not all spineless, will-less, automatons trapped in a bishop-beating, monkey-spanking thrall by even the slight possibility of pornographic images.

    Although…there was a neat article by a trans-ftm who had started the journey to maleness as a radical feminist lesbian…and then suffered enormous guilt and confusion when the hormones kicked in and testosterone left him suddenly looking at women and having intense sexual thoughts instead of warm fuzzy feelings.

    Even so…even with ‘biological urges’…we’re not drones set on ‘wank-it’ auto pilot. I hope the dude fails epicly…as he deserves.

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