Whitest Kids U’Know: Pledge of Allegiance

This is not brainwashing. This is not brainwashing. This is not brainwashing.

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  • echar

    It’s funny because it’s true!

  • emperorreagan

    Screwing around during the pledge of allegiance was one of the first things I can remember as a kid to give me that little tingle when you feel like you’re doing something subversive – refusing to stand, not saying it, replacing the words…

    • Matt Staggs

      Then we would have been good friends in high school…

      • emperorreagan

        I wish I had known more people who were a little more like me in high school. The pains of going to school in a conservative mormon town.

  • lifobryan

    “I plead alignment to the flakes of the untitled snakes of a merry cow and to the republicrats for which they scam: one nacho, underpants with licorice and jugs of wine for owls.”
    ― Matt Groening, The Big Book of Hell: The Best of Life in Hell

    • Andrew

      I’m not sure if Groening changed it for Big Book of Hell, but originally Bongo said Republicans, not Republicrats.

      • lifobryan

        I’m not sure when or why he changed the word. I like “Republicrats” because it’s more inclusive. It doesn’t single out one political party, but can refer to any pledge-parroting puppetician.

        It’s not really party-brand affiliation that matters anyway, but allegiance to the corporate system for which the flag stands. As our Electoids pledge, preen & publicly fondle their flag-pins, they might well reflect on what the colorful cloth actually represents. The Betsy Ross legend aside, the original US flag design is based on that of the East India Company, one of our primary corporate Founding Fathers. Our flag today does the same job their flag did then: flapping proudly over trade routes, as ships sale the seven seas, with Artillery and Commerce for all.

        • Guest

          “East India Company” *searches…jaw drop…*

        • Guest

          “East India Company” *searches…jaw drop…*

  • Ittabena

    My roommate showed me this before. These guys are great!

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