Let’s Go To Hunger Games Camp

Between troubled-teen institutions and juvenile incarceration rackets, is there no place where a child can go to enjoy the fascist experience? I know, Hunger Games Camplet’s take them to Hunger Games Camp! In Florida, of all places!

I think it’s great that we’ve embraced a dystopian novel about children fighting to the death on behalf of their proletariat sectors to satisfy a despotic aristocracy.

VIA Tampa Bay Times

“What are we going to do first?” shouted 14-year-old Sidney Martenfeld. “Are we going to kill each other first?”

“No! No violence this week,” the camp’s head counselor was busy telling the children. But keeping the kids from talk of murder would prove difficult. That was, after all, the driving plot point of The Hunger Games — and this was Hunger Games camp.

At the end of the week, the 26 kids expected to compete in a real-life Hunger Games tournament. They’d spend the next few days training. Then they’d fight to the “death.”

“If I have to die, I want to die by an arrow,” Joey Royals mused to no one in particular. “Don’t kill me with a sword. I’d rather be shot.”

Keep reading.

,

9 Responses to Let’s Go To Hunger Games Camp

  1. Calypso_1 August 15, 2013 at 10:48 am #

    How else are they going to learn to compete in the world that’s headed their way?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UktEpUM-iMM

  2. Anarchy Pony August 15, 2013 at 11:19 am #

    Words fail me.
    Then again, maybe these kids will be able to mount an effective guerrilla insurgency, but then again again, probably not.

    And for fuck’s sake kid, no, you don’t want to be killed with an arrow. Slowly bleeding to death while your organs rasp against the arrow shaft is not desirable.

    • Calypso_1 August 15, 2013 at 11:42 am #

      Probably wouldn’t fare too well against the Boy Scouts.

      • Anarchy Pony August 15, 2013 at 3:47 pm #

        Remind me to never fuck with the BSOA.

  3. BuzzCoastin August 15, 2013 at 3:11 pm #

    how Homelandia
    can zombie camp be far behind?

  4. Kat August 15, 2013 at 3:49 pm #

    at least the kids are reading, right??

  5. Haystack August 15, 2013 at 8:27 pm #

    I don’t know. Sounds like good fun and exercise to me.

    The premise really isn’t any worse than your average first-person shooter.

    • Dingbert August 15, 2013 at 10:51 pm #

      Yeah, who didn’t play army when as a kid, sneaking around in the woods at night, pretending to kill each other? Hell, I have a hard time remember a game of Monopoly that didn’t become violent. Still, seems weird to pay somebody else to institutionalize the whole thing.

Leave a Reply