Click To Summon The NSA

Want to make your afternoon more interesting? A few keystrokes online can bring a hot pizza to your door, but what about delivering stone-faced FBI agents? There’s a new site for that called SUMMON THE NSA! (click through to actually hit the button):

Disclaimer: By clicking this button your browser will do a google search for a list of known words that the NSA monitors.

These searches will summon the police and FBI to your house because, just like everyone living in America today, all of your digital transactions are being monitored.

summon

33 Comments on "Click To Summon The NSA"

  1. mole_face | Aug 20, 2013 at 4:35 pm |

    I really wish I hadn’t found out that this site exists. It seems like the sort of thing I might be inclined to do one night at 2 AM after two bottles of $3 wine have me feeling just the right mix of nihilism and arrogance.

    • Dude, I know what you mean. It’s so damn tempting to do it. I want to so bad, but . . . you know, why complicate my life unnecessarily?
      Now, if millions of people did it at once . . .

      • atlanticus | Aug 20, 2013 at 5:23 pm |

        Anyone know any way to coordinate something like that? Should we contact the site first to see if they can handle it?

        • The Well Dressed Man | Aug 20, 2013 at 10:14 pm |

          Reddit attempted something very similar right after the Snowden info went public. As far as I know, there were no overt consequences…

      • hahahaha you gonna stick it to the NSA by overwhelming them with large volume of data huh? Let’s all pause and give the agents some time to stop laughing while their algorithms pour through the last decade of your online activity. You do realize they capture ALL traffic right?

        • I dunno man, you’re prolly right.
          I just went and pushed the silly button.
          As others have noted, we’re more than likely already on some watch list anyway.

    • InfvoCuernos | Aug 20, 2013 at 7:04 pm |

      Don’t open the box!

  2. DeepCough | Aug 20, 2013 at 4:47 pm |

    Um, you first.

  3. “Summon the NSA” sounds like the start of a modern-day grimoire. Though a better modern-day equivalent would be “Summon the Holy Inquisition”, complete with batshit authoritarian followers who call themselves “leftists”, who a few hundred years ago screamed “Burneth ye witchess”.

    The difference between batshit authoritarian followers then and now? Demographic marketing targets. The mentalities of them and their Fearless Leaders are the same.

  4. InfvoCuernos | Aug 20, 2013 at 7:05 pm |

    This will be a fun thing to do on someone else’s computer.

  5. Noah_Nine | Aug 20, 2013 at 8:05 pm |

    One way this might be actually be useful is to set aside an “official” day where millions of people access this site at the same time…. that might throw the ol’ enn ess ay a curve ball…. having too much data is like having no data at all……

  6. Chugs Rodiguez | Aug 20, 2013 at 8:12 pm |

    what a bunch of fucking cowards.

    Call you’re self radicals and anarchists and you’re too scared to push a button though most of us have probably searched and read those subjects already.

    Who hasn’t downloaded the Uncle Festers guide to making LSD or how to make plastique explosive.

    Who hasn’t searched about terrorists and Al-Quada?

    Fuck i’ve been under surveillance by countries version of FBI because my boss who i sat next to was a major drug trafficker.

    Push the button. In any case the NSA have probably excluded results that use the entire string and there are most likely other criteria’s that are checked to ensure false positives are kept to a minimum.

    FUCKING PUSSIES (what the plural of pussy?)

    • DeepCough | Aug 20, 2013 at 8:39 pm |

      The plural of “pussy” is “pussies,” Chugs. I’m sure a badass like you should have no qualms whatsoever with typing that into Google, eh, homes?

    • > Who hasn’t downloaded the Uncle Festers guide to making LSD or how to make plastique explosive.

      I haven’t.

      > (what the plural of pussy?)

      Your mom and dad.

    • atlanticus | Aug 21, 2013 at 6:46 am |

      Grasshopper has too much fire…get arrested easily…not a good planner…

  7. BuzzCoastin | Aug 20, 2013 at 8:57 pm |

    Click To Summon The NSA
    why bother when you simply send an email with Gmail for the same result?

  8. Shiny. Red. Button.
    Cannot help myself…hehe

  9. Ted Heistman | Aug 21, 2013 at 6:46 am |

    Not to call everyone a pussy again, but WTF? Are people serious? Hardly anyone has pushed it? Anyway just so you know, the first thing it brings up is articles about the list of key words. That’s all that comes up on the first page.

    • Matt Staggs | Aug 21, 2013 at 4:57 pm |

      I pushed it the second Duncan tweeted it, but I’m guessing I’m already on the NSA radar.

    • Are you “Chugs Rodriquez?”
      After reading some of the comments here and thinking aout it for awhile, I went and pushed the button.

      • Ted Heistman | Aug 23, 2013 at 12:05 pm |

        No, not sure who that is…What did you see?

        • It just went to a google page showing “rootkiit PLO chemical weapon medical assistance team malware. . . ” at the top.
          Then some other sites below that, one saying “operation troll the NSA.” No big deal.
          No pigs in plain clothes wearing reflector shades showed up at my house. Or if they did, they didn’t find me cuz I wasn’t home.

  10. Monkey See Monkey Do | Aug 21, 2013 at 12:44 pm |

    PLO, Chemical weapon, Disaster medical assistance team, Malware, Service disruption, Conventional weapon, Taliban, Suicide attack, Tamil
    Tigers.

    • Bluebird_of_Fastidiousness | Aug 21, 2013 at 12:54 pm |

      Indigenous solidarity, food security, Constitution, banking reform, public domain, justice, GMO, government accountability, corporate dissolution, direct democracy

  11. Chillin' Effect | Aug 21, 2013 at 3:57 pm |

    Comedian Duncan Trussell and his web guy dreamed this summoning tool. If you haven’t heard his podcast, do your ears a favor and check it out.

  12. emperorreagan | Aug 21, 2013 at 5:18 pm |

    I pushed the button. I also added “ROCK HARD AUTHORITARIAN BONERS” to the front of the search and searched again.

  13. It isn’t as if any rational person still believes the USA is a free country. Think about it. No-warrant wire taps, indefinite detention of citizens without charges, approval of rendition of prisoners and torture, stop and frisk without probable cause, search and seizure without a warrant, no-knock entry, confiscation and destruction of cameras that might have been used to film police acting illegally, police brutality, police shootings that go without investigation, managed news, and the civil-rights destroying “Patriot” Act.

    Acts of police behaving illegally, with shootings, Tasers, and unwarranted violence now appear almost daily. Rarely are these offenses punished. Most often “an investigation” is claimed, but soon forgotten.

    

In addition, the USA, with 5% of the world population, has 25% of all of the prisoners in the world. That means the USA has the most people in prison of any nation in history. Even by percentage of residents incarcerated, not just sheer numbers. USA is # 1!

 Does any of that sound like a free country?

    As Dwight D. Eisenhower said about communism, “It’s like slicing sausage. First they out off a small slice. That isn’t worth fighting over. Then they take another small slice that isn’t worth fighting over. Then another and another. Finally, all you have left is the string and that isn’t worth fighting over, either.

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