Despite Shutdown Threats, The System Keeps Spinning

Ted_Cruz,_official_portrait,_113th_CongressAaron Cynic writes at Diatribe Media:

Republican Senator Ted Cruz just spent a marathon 21 hours speaking at the Senate podium. While usually, such marathon stints spent in the same place are reserved for people trying to win used cars, Ted was stumping in protest of Obamacare, something so contentious that in addition to Republicans “symbolically” attempting to pass legislation killing it 41 times, both parties are willing to endure a government shutdown while they play political ping-pong over it. For those Americans who think a government normally set at the little turtle on the mobility scooter at the grocery store is bad, just wait until Uncle Sam locks himself out of the front gate completely. But, we don’t need to completely panic. While millions of regular government employees could be out of a paycheck for awhile, there are at least a few things American’s needn’t worry about.

Our leaders won’t go hungry.

Anyone worried their representatives in the Senate or House or the President and his cabinet might end up next to them in a bread line outside Walmart can rest easy – America’s leaders will still get their paychecks. The President and members of Congress aren’t paid out of regular appropriations, but rather through a mandatory spending bill. Plenty of politicians gave fiery speeches the last time they threatened to close the doors at Congress (2011) about how they *shouldn’t* be paid, but when it came down to writing that legislation down and passing it, the legislature was so cash strapped it couldn’t afford a pen. When asked in 2011 why Congress hadn’t passed a bill that would force legislators to spange in the park like a regular worker might do during a shutdown, John Boehner said “we’ll have to take a look at that. I’m not sure that that’s entirely accurate,” presumably before wiping some crocodile tears with hundred dollar bills.

Our text messages are still safely in the hands of the NSA.

Running a vast and secret network of computers built to mine text messages, emails, phone calls, internet traffic and more gets expensive. All by itself, PRISM, the most popular of secret NSA spying programs, costs $20 milliona year to run. But, that’s a small drop in a very large bucket filled with $10.8 billion. This doesn’t mean however, you’ll have free reign to sext your friends and browse the darkest depths of internet porn all evening without a man in black virtually looking over your shoulder. Since the first two letters of NSA stand for “National Security,” PRISM and other federal that provide security “essential to the national security or the safety of life and property” get an exemption. Agency’s like the NSA, FBI, DEA and others will be able continue their surveillance and suppression of drum circles against a war on Syria or sit-ins at big banks unabated.

Read the full post at Diatribe Media.

5 Comments on "Despite Shutdown Threats, The System Keeps Spinning"

  1. Cruz filibusters for the Elite, like Jimmy Stewart turned Sith Lord. Here’s a great way to calculate what this man is trying to take away from you so he can fund the war machine.

  2. Simon Valentine | Sep 25, 2013 at 2:38 pm |

    and when troy was asleep…

    wait, what?

    greeks is sleeping too?!



  3. Charlie Primero | Sep 25, 2013 at 6:28 pm |

    Does anyone still actually watch that government show?

  4. He’s just looking for attention.

    I find it amusing that the “party of fiscal responsibility” hasn’t allowed a federal budget to pass since 2009.

  5. Liam_McGonagle | Sep 26, 2013 at 10:41 am |

    As each of these carnivals pass, one increasingly gets the impression of a growing despairation, a panicky resort to theatre to distract us from the elephant in the room: the utter indifference of anyone in government to their nominal duties.

    I look forward to the next circus. I can scarcely imagine what sort of inane premise they’ll latch upon to avoid doing their jobs.

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