Billboard Proposes Texas-Louisiana-Missouri-Mississippi-Oklahoma Form Breakaway Nation

Is this tye-dyed billboard a vision of the future? The St. Louis Riverfront Times reports:

On a stretch of Interstate 44 between Lebanon and Springfield, the billboard asks readers to “consider a contiguous 5-state secession” and lists Missouri, Texas, Oklahoma, Louisiana and Mississippi as the lucky secessionist states.

Up until a week ago, the billboard had “MI” in place of “MS,” which was a problem because Michigan is not contiguous with the other four states.

An executive who was available for comment from DDI Media, the advertising company that owns the billboard, did not know who rented the space.

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  • http://dailygrail.com/ Red Pill Junkie

    Redneckistan?

    • Anarchy Pony

      Dumbfuckistan

      • Juan

        Knuckledragistan, mouthbreathistan, Walmartisatan, Jesusistan, Methistan, Inbredistan, bibleville, etc.

  • DeepCough

    Pros: 5 less states dumbing down the nation.

    Cons: Ummmm……………..

  • emperorreagan

    Pros: MS & LA are among the top 10 poorest states in the US. TX, MO, and OK are in the bottom 50%.

    All except TX are net burdens on a tax basis. Over the period of 1999-2009 (per the Economist):
    (Federal Taxes – Federal Spending)
    MS: -$254 million
    LA: -$99 million
    OK: -$35 million
    MO: -$30 million
    TX: +$34 million

    So that is a net -$384 million to the region over 20 years. It would be nice to take that number off the books.

    Could also drop liability for social security, medicare, pensions, etc. Call it treason to secede and deny everything. That’s about 40 million people off the books.

    The region would have limited access to resources to build an independent military (no Navy to protect any interests they might imagine in the Gulf, for instance) and likely be subject to a (remainder of the) US enforced embargo anyway.

    Cons:

    Sorry Matt Staggs.

    • Sarcasmo

      Dang! That’s 20 million a year! Imagine the possibilities of what D.C. could do with such a surplus.

      • Anarchy Pony

        Blow up a couple more brown people a year?

      • emperorreagan

        Much more than a $20 million surplus, if you count the suggestion to cut off all federal benefits. The $20 million surplus would just be off the bat on outlays to those states.

        Once you stop paying, say, disability benefits to veterans, social security, etc. the balance of payments comes out much higher.

    • Matt Staggs

      Ah, crap. Can I apply for political asylum?

  • echar

    This recalls these skits

    Mr. Show: Soverign Nation
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNsYlnxSNcA

    New Freeland
    http://FunnyOrDie.com/m/1r82

  • Sarcasmo

    How ridiculous, they can’t live with out Washington DC telling them what to do, the entire world can’t live with out DC telling it what to do. If they did pull off a secession the military would just invade them like a poor country and militarize the local police, use drone surveillance, read everyone’s emails and text messages and ….wait….nevermind.

    • alizardx

      DOA. US corps getting direct and indirect Fed subsidies (e.g. Walmart + defense contractors) would probably never let this get to a vote.

      Irony is that the people who would win/lose on this are generally on the opposite side of the issue than one would expect them rationally to be.

      Blue states subsidize Red states – but it’s Red states where the greatest concentration of secession supporters are.

  • Anarchy Pony

    Pro: Would no longer have to share a nationality with texans.

    • atlanticus

      :(

      • Anarchy Pony

        Sorry texas people caught in the line of fire of my disdain.

        • atlanticus

          Like it isn’t bad enough living with *them*…have you heard any news about Wendy Davis? It’s not all rednecks…actually… >_>

          • The Well Dressed Man

            Wait, are you from Texas?

          • atlanticus

            “No.”

          • The Well Dressed Man

            never could quite figure out the southern version of irony. been too long since decent brisket washed down with shiner bock though. i’m gonna guess big city – wes anderson territory, no?

          • Calypso_1

            in the south, irony is an exponential involution of IQ

          • The Well Dressed Man

            beats hyperbole any day

          • Calypso_1

            hyperbole is often beaten into meringues and potato salad.

          • The Well Dressed Man

            i got the feeling the regional cuisine was the product of a much more relaxed sensibility. example in two courses:

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFjmb-1ypBc

          • Calypso_1

            I’ve been to that joint many a time.

            hyperbole comes into to play during more intimate, ritualized culinary rites, particularly funerals.

          • The Well Dressed Man

            I’ve seen that band quite a few times, but never so close to their home turf. As a westerner, dixie seems so strange at first. Manifest destiny happened on such a massive scale it takes quite some time to collect enough dots for the plot.

          • Calypso_1

            Every seen Unknown Hinson?

          • The Well Dressed Man

            Haven’t. Looks like fun though. Check out Toshio Hirano if you ever have the chance.

          • atlanticus

            Somewhat, though I’m no longer in that particular city…I’ve kind of been all over the state, in all-size towns…thinking about moving to a very small town sometime in the next 5 years…rifles and cats, rifles and cats…

            I just had BBQ for lunch. It was pretty fucking amazing, actually. That and Tex-Mex is why I can never leave.

          • The Well Dressed Man

            For the first year I thought I was in a 70s movie, and that all the friendly natives were just fattening me up for the oven, or planning some kind of deliverance banjo scene. Eventually I really got into the place. Kreuz Market in Lockhart will actually ship their bbq by air. You simply can’t get that kind of food on the west coast, so I’ve actually ordered a couple times.
            Only after moving away did I find out that I have roots in the very part of Tx where I had been living.

          • atlanticus

            I’ve sometimes considered moving elsewhere and opening a restaurant…west coast would decidedly NOT be the place to do it, though.

          • The Well Dressed Man

            “Soul food” and “bbq” are pretty trendy in the foodie circles out west these days, but it’s disappointing. We’re simply not capable of leaving enough fat on the meat or adding enough butter to get it right. I always come off like a jerk when I ask what kind of wood and how long they smoked their “bbq.”

          • atlanticus

            Hm…I’m not sure if that’s an argument for or against opening a restaurant on the west coast…I might shit a brick the first time someone asks me for BBQ tofu (or whatever non-meat is trendy at the time).

          • The Well Dressed Man

            organ meat was hip as recently as last year. restauranteurs were having exclusive “offal” cookoffs. liver, kidney, hearts, etc. pork belly can be kind of awesome…

          • Calypso_1

            has lardo hit the scene yet?

          • The Well Dressed Man

            we have a whole city in cali named in honor of the lard: Manteca
            edit- charcuterie schmarcuterie. Every other dive bar has some kind of questionable meat creation curing in dank basements. The foodies have just about ruined things to the point that I want soylent

          • Anarchy Pony

            That shit was appalling.

          • atlanticus

            I assume you mean the filibuster? Or just the fact that some Texans tried to shut down practically all of the abortion clinics? Meh, you get used to it, I guess. And then you vote.

            Just, in general, how absurd are filibusters, anyway? Straight out of 1880…

    • The Well Dressed Man

      According to the Texans I know, it’s just a technicality.

  • Matt Staggs

    Meh. Any dipshit with money to burn can rent a billboard.

  • Danny Adams

    We should let them secede peacefully on the condition they can never, ever get foreign aid from the U.S. That should take care of things pretty quickly one way or the other.

  • Adam S.

    Take Alabama with ya’ and don’t let the door hit you in the ass as you leave.

  • Dingbert

    What did they have against Arkansas?

    • atlanticus

      It’s Arkansas…duh.

    • Jim Beach

      Bill Clinton.

  • The Well Dressed Man

    I haven’t spent any time in the panhandle, but it seems like east and central Texas would be furiously opposed to joining with Oklahoma.
    Edit- If you let them call the new country Texas, they’ll totally go for it. Cause of course the only thing bigger than Texas is Big Texas.

  • ManwithnoCountry

    That would be fun, they should be quick about it. They’d need military help, maybe from China.

  • Kurt

    Please go

  • Jim Beach

    As far as I’m concerned they could go and be welcome, if it wouldn’t damn all their actual thinking citizens to a Hellish existence they don’t deserve.

  • Thomas Paine

    If Texas seceded, I’d return it to Mexico.

  • lilbear68

    how bout ‘we don’t give a rats a s s how the rest of the country dies-astan’

  • Brittney Wright

    Part of me is glad that my state of Arkansas isn’t included, but the other part of me knows it belongs there due to the overwhelming ignorance that stems from so many here. Probably even moreso than some of the states listed. I’d definitely have to move if Arkansas was part of its own, small, Southern nation.

  • fizmath

    USA was founded on secession. It is the only peaceful way to settle our differences about how best to run society.

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