Why I Don’t Do Psychedelics Very Often Anymore

daemonicheatherblackrainbowI feel like I should start this off by saying that I’m never going to stop doing psychedelic drugs and to say that I don’t do them very often anymore would sort of ignore the fact that I get high almost every day. In my mind weed’s a bit more of hallucinogen than most people like to acknowledge, it just takes a bit more focus to be used in that capacity and people are lazy. Things like acid and mushrooms come right into your world impose their essence into the very fiber of your world. They’re the only reason I’m writing this weird shit for you today. I took mushrooms when I was 18 and saw a universe of transcendent shape shifting mutant space art that no one will ever be able to explain to me with conventional thought. One of the more mind blowing aspects of randomly experimenting with psilocybin as a teenager had to do with reading people like Carlos Casteneda shortly thereafter. Whatever you think about the guy’s work, I can absolutely say that I was completely unfamiliar with the concept of sorcery or shamanism until that exposure. Most of us tune it out. I wasn’t crazy. People had been basing their spiritual beliefs on the ritualistic use of entheogens every since we can remember there being people, and yet, we’ve outright rejected this philosophy in western culture. I just can’t figure out why everything’s fucked. I just can’t figure it out.

The sensory fire works of psychedelic high strangeness eventually lead me into the even freakier spectacles of astral projection and chaos magick. I can say with all certainty that these things have lead to more coherent cosmic informational downloads than psychedelics ever have. Hands down. The psychedelic experience is almost too powerful. You get a constant invasion stream of more than you can take, which is why it’s so awesome, but it’s also easier to process the information more effectively in alternate formats like sex ganj-i-tation and dream analysis (both ofwhich I talk about on Facebook often, friend me). It typically takes me months to process a single trip, but there was a time when I didn’t take them so sparingly.

The problem is the drug war. Set and setting largely dictate the resulting imprint of any ethneogen voyage, and in this day and age, your average teenager dives into them like they would any other illegal substance. You could argue that the majority of our spiritual beliefs are backhandedly diluted shamanism when you get down to it. This is some powerful shit. And most of us just throw ourselves into it as if it’s no different than choogling cheap beers and trying to get laid. I had absolutely no idea what I was getting myself into when I first tripped out. It was a Friday night, I was looking to party. What happened changed me forever. Not many people are going to tell you that’s a possibility. The psychedelic experience has never really grown up past its frat boy party phase in western culture. I’m still not of the mind that going to a crowded concert or festival is the best way to get something profound out of them, as hyper rad as that can be. Optimally I think sex should be involved, but that’s another story.

What I’m really getting at is that I sort of find psychedelic culture embarrassing to a certain extent. I remember reading about research done back in the sixties that indicated that without the implementation of an alternate spiritual practice, the long term affects of a given acid trip on an individual’s behavior were often negligible. I’ve known a crap ton of people who have taken a bunch of psychedelics, and very few of them have adopted any sort of alternative spiritual discipline whatsoever. It usually seems to be about, again, taking drugs as a means to escape life’s bullshit and little more. A lot of times it almost turns into a pissing contest sort of “I can handle more than you can” competition. Granted, I know a lot of other people who use it to inspire art, and that’s a spiritual discipline unto itself, but very few people I’ve known take on even basic things like regular meditation or intentional dream manipulation. For most casual trippers, it doesn’t change them much at all in the long term. If I were to put a finger on why this is, I’d wager it has something to do with the set and setting in which we take them, which is typically “at a party or party environment” under the impression that “they’re just drugs fucking with your head”. That’s a pretty good set up for a failure to learn anything. Basically, just edit out all the freaky shit to the best of your abilities because there’s no reason to pay much attention to it anyway. That’s the attitude a lot of us our launching ourselves heavenward with.

God, the dumb shit I did in my youth. I have multiple stories of being drunk at like 3am at some random party and one of my friends finding acid. Yeah, let’s take that, right now, after 17 beers. It’s not like it wasn’t fun. I had the free time and I used to be able to handle these shenanigans. On the other hand, it’s also kind of stupid. I knew one girl who took mushrooms and had to be forcefully evacuated from a concert because she wigged the fuck out. I knew another guy who on several different occasions ate shrooms and wound up in a mental institution not really having any idea how he got there. He lost a couple of jobs because of that. Right after high school I sold a dude some and he went home and took them by himself. Ended up freaking and his mom took him to the hospital in the middle of the night to get his stomach pumped. That has to be one of the worst trips on record and I still sort of feel bad for selling him those. Why doesn’t anyone say obvious shit about psychedelic drugs? Why is it always just GOOOOOO TEEEAAAAMM DRUGGGGGSSSS!!!!!?

No seriously, I’m about the biggest advocate for the stuff imaginable, but if someone who’s never tried them asked, I’d tell them to try weed first. If you can’t handle what that does to your brain (and a lot of people struggle with it) you really have no business going any further. Try smoking pot and meditating and if you like that, by all means proceed. If you have a predilection to things like manic depression, schizophrenia or spontaneous schizophrenic experience, taking acid or mushrooms might just push you way over the edge, which we’ve seen time and time again. When you do try them, take a small dose and wait for a couple hours. If you want more, take more but increase the dosage in small increments to test what you can deal with. I so did not take this advice or think this way when I was younger. Even when I took mushroom chocolates with my wife who had never done them six years ago, I accidentally gave her way too much because I’d never tried that batch and had no idea how strong they were. As a result, she had a rough first few hours (although she learned a few things) and I had to put in a bit of effort to pull her out of it, which worked. You’d think I would have figured this stuff out by this point, but it’s not like you learn in in schools or on tv. They tell you to party.

The other important point is don’t do them all the freaking time. I’m of the mind that Timothy Leary’s idea that you can take these things weekly without frying your brain is one hundred percent off. When I read about the sixties it never ceases to amaze me how large they went on that front. There is absolutely no way that wouldn’t have made me go all Syd Barret batshit, which is quite depressing I might point out. And it’s not like I’ve never gone over the edge tripping balls too much like those guys did. When I moved out to Seattle twelve years ago I arrived with a half sheet in tow. On top of that, mushrooms just kept finding me. This of course lead to some of the most transcendent sexual experiences of my life but eventually an eerie communication started reverberating through the ether of psychic waves. I kept seeing the exact patterns repeating themselves over and over again. Nothing new was piercing the veil of novel experience. It wasn’t just that, but as with everything telepathy, I was starting to understand that the repeating feedback loop was meant to tell me something, and I’ll try and translate it into English for you:

“Hey, Thad, it’s us, the mutating hive mind super gods. Yeah, we dig you too. I get that you like making us do this little trick we do, but guess what. We’ve shown you everything we can little guy. Go out and like, accomplish something with your life before you summon us again. Impress us and we’ll impress you. Thanks for leaving us alone until you do.”

Of course I didn’t really listen to all that because back in the day I was actually quite a bit denser than I am now, which is hard to believe. I did slow it down a bit though, but of course I suppose a true lesson had to be imparted for them to get through to me. That happening took some of my most irresponsible drug behavior ever. I got promoted into this new management gig where I had to be on call at times. The very first night that I have this responsibility, I show up at home and my girlfriend at the time is cutting up lines of coke. We bump those and then at like two in the morning decide we’re going to do the ecstasy we have lying around. That gets weird and really sort of fun and emotional. We talk about a lot of repressed things we’ve never touched on before. I actually answer a call from my work no problem despite being completely out of my head. Then when the E wore off at like six in the morning we had the brilliant idea of taking the last bits of acid we had in the fridge. This is the problem with thinking about psychedelics as party drugs in a nutshell.

Now, it should be noted that before this happened, we’d done this stuff a few times and it was super weak, which is what influenced the decision. We thought it’d just put a permagrin on our faces which is what it did before. An hour later though, while we were walking around the park it somehow came on fiercer and more sinister than anything I’ve ever had creep up on me. The next ten or so hours were the most daemonic horror show invasion type vibes that have ever slipped into my micro-verse. They spirits were fucking pissed. Now the message was:

“Hey, dipshit. We told you! WE TOLD YOU! What the fuck are you doing with your life? Jesus Christ, get a fucking hold of yourself. Go out and do something to impress us or never summon us like this ever again.”

It was absolutely brutal and one of like only two bad trips I’ve ever had. I remember at one point actually having sex with my quite gorgeous girlfriend and just stopping. I wasn’t even into sex. That’s how nuts it was. Eventually she had the quite brilliant idea of giving me a bunch of Benadryl which finally ended the ordeal and knocked me out. Thank god no one else paged me. It should be noted that it wasn’t nearly as negative a vibe for her and I had way more experience with acid at that point.

After that I didn’t do hallucinogens at all for like two and half years, and I, you know, actually sort of accomplished some things with my life. I got into magick. Then next time I took them was again, at like one in the morning when I was sort of drunk with the same girl, who called me out of nowhere. Ended up being one of the better trips I’ve had and I’ve actually written about it fairly extensively. They were pleased with me again. There sure is some potent psilocybin in this part of the country. The trip started with this kitten on a calendar someone gave me shooting psionic neon red lazer beams out of its eyes and into my eternal structure. Hadn’t seen that trick before.

In the seven or so years since, I usually embark on one or two cosmic voyages a year max. I usually do it to reward myself for some sort of accomplishment, which for me typically involves the completion of an album that I ritualistically listen to. I’ve been increasingly trying to plan these things out and hone the ritualistic element more precisely. This is all honestly new. I did a 2012 audio acid ritual last year that quite quickly pointed out to me what the next step in my magickal evolution is, communion with my Holy Guardian Alien. Abduction basically, but from my body, not of my body. I’ve got a long way to go as far as mastering that goes, but until then, further figuring out how to maximalize the set and setting of the psychedelic experience is sort of what I’m up to.

On that note, part of the reason I’m talking about all this is because I took a chocolate and went to the first Hypnotikon psychedelic music festival a few weeks back. Aces. Just top shelf psychic residue spewing forth from that camp. I was peaking in the front row while this unholy Night Beats freak out was going down.




Amazing. Like going on a hyper color great space roller coaster. Did I gain any real new spiritual insights? Not really, but it certainly was mind blowing in epic proportions. So mind blowing that my head wasn’t entirely back to normal for four whole days afterward. Christ I’m getting old. It used to take me like a day to bounce back from that kind of madness overload. On the other hand, just kind of verifies my point. You probably don’t want to be doing this sort of thing too often, but rather, ritualistically and with respect. The term acid casualty exists for a reason. Let us not forget that.

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  • Combattons_le_nihilisme

    Nice article :), ty for sharing your trips and your vision of hallucinogens! I totally agree with you on the conclusion.

  • echar

    It was all fun and games, until I got my hands on some black pyramid microdots. At first we thought it was bunk, and we about to call our dude. Then it started, and boy did it go. I have been cautious since then.

    I encourage people not to drop though. Not unless they feel they really need to. As for setting, we always had safe places to go. My older friend could drive like a champ while tripping. I remember one trip while on Blue Felix, we laughed our asses off for hours while driving around.

    I’ve been told that the acid back in the day was best. Not only because of how it was made by Owsley, but also because the Brotherhood of Eternal Love would bless it. Maybe that’s one of those tripper tales like the cup of orange juice guy or something. No idea, but I can say unless the stars align in the right way. I will probably never trip again. My imagination is wild as is, I don’t need any help.

  • Yūgen

    “You probably don’t want to be doing this sort of thing too often, but rather, ritualistically and with respect. ”

    But why is it always one or the other? Don’t some use them frequently for a time, but with respect, intent, ritual, in proper set/settings? I’ve always wondered why people tend to just equate frequent use with recklessness or frying your brain… Perhaps that line of thought is partially a result of looking at psychedelic medicines through our western paradigm of widespread drug abuse of all sorts.

    Doing them more often isn’t right for everyone and can come in phases in a persons life depending on a number of factors, but in general I think that the overall context of the use, set/setting, and amount of integration that goes along with it all is much much more important IMO than just how often your tripping…Since some people go nuts after 1 or a handful of trips, while others are fine after even months of daily exploration of the tryptamine dimension…and vice versa, of course.

    Others that I’ve known including myself drank ayahuasca 1-2 times a week for over a year and it was always done ritualistically and with deep respect. Some apprenticing healers in the amazon will even take psychoactive plants daily for months on end. Its not for everyone and not something I planned to do for years on end, its just how my work with the medicine unfolded and it was probably the most interesting and transformative times of my life, in a very positive way. My solo forays with frequent vaped dmt have been similar. (I should note that for some reason it seems LSD runs a higher risk of being detrimental when its used frequently)

    I’m not saying there aren’t serious risks involved, nor am i recommending this. You have to be careful if you choose to do them, and especially so if its frequently. But after reading this I can’t help but feel that its all to easy to see why one would think that journeying too frequently will probably “fry” peoples brains when your own frequent use involved mixing it with things like alcohol and coke, in less than ideal set/settings. This is why i think the context is more important than frequency when talking about possible negatives.

    We tend to project inferences drawn from the patterns of our experiences and apply them to the general population, but its always very tricky and multi-faceted. Especially since a lot of the world is moving past just using them for kicks and taking more syncretic spiritual approaches. We’re in the midst of a second academic/cultural psychedelic revolution right now and many people aren’t just using them recreationally (which i have nothing against), but in more solo or exploratory/healing types of contexts.

    • TeddyOrwell

      Most people find it hard to do what you are doing. Usually, if people are doing it frequently, they will start to treat it more frivolously. Many get into a mode where they are just consuming experiences and not reflecting on them…just more, more, more. More visions, more epiphanies (or the appearance of epiphany), more euphorias, more. You get the idea. You see this a lot with people who just steadily do K like it’s pot or something.

      So yes, it can be done, but most people would get more out of it if they didn’t. I’ve noticed in my experiences that once a twice a year is plenty if it’s done properly with the recognition that there is work to be done after the drugs wear off. And yes, I have have done them very frequently too, and I don’t think it’s bad.

      • Yūgen

        There is many “patterns” of use and that is definitely one of them. But mostly I think high doses tend to be self-regulating, in that they actually differ most people from wanting to do them again right away because of how powerful and earth-shattering it is. So when people go through periods of more serious frequent use for personal growth, they tend to be dedicated, with genuine intentions and respect for it. When people are doing it often and only getting more frivolous with it, they usually seem to be doing mostly lower end doses and/or mostly tripping for reasons outside of the introspective/exploratory/spiritual path. Or aren’t integrating enough…something that is always key.

        Anyways I think the classical psychedelics such as lsd, mushrooms, ayahuasca, and mescaline are far far different and not really that comparable to ketamine which, while profound in itself, is after all a dissociative by nature with much different activity, history, and uses. Its also addictive, whereas these other psychedelics are usually the opposite of addictive.

  • TeddyOrwell

    Great article, Thad. I heartily concur. Mostly these days I just meditate. I too have been investigating Astral Projection/OBEs, and am coming to realize that one can have amazing self initiated OBE experiences that way which rival or even surpass the most mindblowing DMT trips. But it’s different, and yes, more accessible in many ways and easier to integrate into your life. And it doesn’t cost any money and you don’t have to risk your freedom to do it.

    Lots of psychedelic type people have this attitude like drugs are the ultimate, but they really are just there to show you what is possible. Psychedelics are certainly dependable in being effective and are impressive as hell, especially visually, but that’s not everything. In fact, the visuals can in a way can be a distraction from the much more profound stuff going on.

    Once you learn a few tricks, you may not ever need psychedelics again. If anyone is interested in how to self intiate OBEs, check out books by William Buhlman, Robert Monroe, Michael Raduga, or Robert Bruce. Or just search for interviews with William Buhlman on youtube and listen to him. I’m reading his book, “Adventures Beyond The Body” and it’s pretty outstanding. He discovered how to do that stuff on his own, but he teaches you all the tricks he knows. I’ve met others who are able to do it without ever trying, but most of us need to put some effort into it.