Mexican Drug Lord Assassinated By Killer Clowns

Arellano FelixYour paralyzing fears of clowns are justified. Al Jazeera reports:

The eldest brother of Mexico’s once powerful Arellano Felix drug cartel family was killed by gunmen dressed as clowns at a children’s party.

Francisco Rafael Arellano Felix, 63, was shot dead on Friday during a family event in Cabo San Lucas, a tourist resort in the Baja California peninsula, state special investigations prosecutor Isai Arias told the AP news agency. “He was hit by two bullets, one in the thorax and one in the head,” Arias said.

The gunmen were disguised as clowns when they shot Arellano Felix at the party in the luxurious Casa Oceano tourist residence. An official told the AP that the costumes included a wig and a round red nose.

The Arellano Felix brothers once dominated drug trafficking between Mexico and California through their brutal Tijuana cartel. Most brothers have been either killed or arrested, leaving the cartel in tatters while rivals rose in prominence.

15 Comments on "Mexican Drug Lord Assassinated By Killer Clowns"

  1. Rhoid Rager | Oct 22, 2013 at 8:24 am |

    Send in the clowns….mothafucka!

  2. Rhoid Rager | Oct 22, 2013 at 8:26 am |

    I think this one-ups Gus Fring’s poisoning of the Colombians.

  3. Calypso_1 | Oct 22, 2013 at 10:38 am |

    Perhaps the UK clown creepers were an operational feint.

  4. Ted Heistman | Oct 22, 2013 at 11:02 am |

    Gangsters always look like they have more vitality than most other people. I like flipping trough these cheap books at Barnes and Noble and that’s what always strikes me. They seem more alive.

    • Anarchy Pony | Oct 22, 2013 at 1:20 pm |

      Constant vigilance and narrow escapes can do that to a person.

      • InfvoCuernos | Oct 22, 2013 at 4:23 pm |

        Also most of those shots were taken by the cops right after the arrest so they’re all jacked up on adrenaline, wondering how they’re going to get out of this mess.

  5. Ted Heistman | Oct 22, 2013 at 11:03 am |

    With that face, what would he be if he wasn’t a Gangster?

    • Rhoid Rager | Oct 22, 2013 at 5:14 pm |

      high school custodian

    • PrimateZero | Oct 22, 2013 at 6:14 pm |

      Auto mechanic, gas station attendant, a roadie for a rock band, postal worker…. you name it.

      • Ted Heistman | Oct 22, 2013 at 9:07 pm |

        I guess I am not seeing what you are seeing. Which I guess is good so I can avoid Gangsters and not postal workers, you know, in case I need a stamp.

  6. InfvoCuernos | Oct 22, 2013 at 4:26 pm |

    “After the shooting, the assailants climbing into a tiny Volkswagen bug with ten other clowns and made a speedy, if erratic gettaway.”

  7. DeepCough | Oct 23, 2013 at 6:21 am |

    When it comes to business, this guy never clowns around.

  8. ICP is really hurting for work these days.

Comments are closed.