Man Subjected to Increasingly Invasive Series of Cavity Searches After Traffic Stop

gifstache.com_1095_1344985207According to the police, David Eckhert failed to come to a complete stop at a stop sign. What happened next sounds like something an ass-obsessed Kafka would write…

Via Lowering the Bar:

Do NOT Clench Your Buttocks in Deming, New Mexico

Why not, you ask? Because it may be interpreted as probable cause to conduct an anal-cavity search.

Or six.

According to this KOB News report, police in Deming, New Mexico, and some doctors they convinced to help them, conducted no fewer than six manual searches of David Eckert’s anus in the hours after they stopped him on January 2. (His crime: allegedly failing to come to a complete stop at a stop sign.) The officers asked Eckert to get out of the car. The lawsuit alleges that after he did so, the officers noted that he “appeared to be clenching his buttocks,” and interpreted this as “probable cause to suspect that Eckert was hiding narcotics in his anal cavity.”

Things get much, much worse. Keep reading.

  • Liam_McGonagle

    And even if you comply, YOU’re still the bad guy if your Dulcolax kicks in while they’re rooting around in there. Can’t win.

    • Liam_McGonagle

      P.S. Either that cat has lockjaw or else I believe I am witnessing a rare example of human-to-feline social imprinting, in which case it’s only a matter of time until these b*st*rds are getting credit cards and moving to the suburbs and buying large screen televisions.

      “Call of the Mild”

      • Matt Staggs

        I’m more concerned that there will be retribution for my own firm spay and neuter policy.

        • Eric_D_Read

          They don’t forgive…or forget.

      • Calypso_1

        Good Lord McGonagle! Your new Avatar is stunning!

        • Liam_McGonagle

          Merci beaucoups, monsieur Calypso.

          After I saw this documentary about Nabil Shaban’s quest for Ivarr the “Boneless” I acquired an immense respect for Shaban that had totally eluded me when I only knew him as ‘Sil’ from Dr. Who.

  • emperorreagan

    Here is my proposed retribution: victim gets to shove a nightstick up each involved party’s ass 6 times (doctors, cops, judge, hospital administrators, etc.). Shown on pay-per-view and the victim gets to keep the proceeds.

    • Calypso_1

      Nightstick…. A garden hose might be appropriate as well.

      • Andrew

        How about a plumber’s snake?

        • Calypso_1

          It doesn’t have the additive effects of an excessive hypotonic washout.

      • Eric_D_Read

        More like a dull knife dipped in shit and a sledgehammer.

        • Calypso_1

          Perhaps you underestimate the full range of possibilities a flagellation device capable of the targeted, flexible delivery of pressurized water has to offer*.


    • Andrew

      He wouldn’t be getting any money from me, sad to say.

      • emperorreagan

        I’d just watch the clips of the cops’ faces and tears on Sports Center.

  • Calypso_1

    Not only did the ‘exam’ occur outside the warrants jurisdiction, the endoscopy probing occurred 3 hours after the warrant expired.

  • Posthuman

    Its a shame they didn’t find diarrhea. A lot of it…

  • Punctuated Colon

    all i can say is


  • Conspiracy Carrot

    Freedom is toast.

    • Calypso_1

      With cheese?

  • echar

    And to think that the police wanted to be seen as your local supportive friend back in the day. We can thank Reagan for the abusive police we see today.

  • Peetr

    That fucking cat captures my sentiments exactly about this story!

  • Woobniggurath

    Almost make me want to BE a lawyer. Oh how I hope it’s an HCA hospital.

  • Eric_D_Read

    Land of the free.
    So the guy’s gonna get a big payout and MAYBE the doctor and/or cop lose their jobs.
    Call me psychotic, but I wouldn’t be satisfied with anything other than screams and blood. I wouldn’t even care if I got caught.

  • troy

    what happens when citizens begin to stand up for their constitutional rights and refuse with FORCE to be searched. Cops have no right to intrude on our constitutional rights and more and more citizens are realizing this. I carry 75% of time and hit my target 95% of the time. I stick and move, Jab and groove and refuse to be abused under the guise of law or safety.