Police: Spy Probably Zipped and Padlocked Himself Into the Duffel Bag His Body Was Found In

Picture: PD

Picture: PD

Nothing to see here. Move along, move along.

Via Newser

The MI6 spy whose naked body was found inside a zipped, padlocked gym bag probably died … by accident, UK police have decided. The coroner said last year Gareth Williams was probably killed by someone else in a criminal act, but now the Metropolitan Police have completed an evidence review and say it’s “more probable” no one else was in his apartment when he died in his bathroom in 2010, the BBC reports. The deputy assistant commissioner said today it’s “theoretically possible” Williams locked himself into the bag.

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  • Hadrian999

    seems legit

  • lilbear68

    we had a similar incident in st Louis not long ago, a guy was put in jail and later was found to have tied his own hands behind his back and hung himself in the cell. o yeah it happens lol

  • InfvoCuernos

    Nothing to see here, back to work citizens.

  • VaudeVillain

    See, this is exactly the kind of thing that makes me question the sanity of anyone who proposes big, effective conspiracies. They can’t even come up with a plausible lie about how a spook died… shit, we shouldn’t even KNOW that he died, or that he was MI6, or that he was ever even alive.

    Why not frame the guy’s girlfriend, or some random schmuck you happen to dislike? Say it was some sort of sexual fetish gone awry… then you get to slander the freaks to boot, bonus. But seriously, “he did it to himself” is just transparently bullshit. At least PRETEND to give a plausible explanation.

    • Hadrian999

      that’s exactly what they want you to think

    • Juan

      It’s insulting that they don’t even bother to come up with a plausible lie.

      • Hadrian999

        it’s better than the time the Detroit police said a banker committed suicide by shooting himself in the back of the head then tossing himself in lake Michigan

        • Juan

          Gary Webb comes to mind too. TWO gunshot wounds to the head ruled a “suicide.”

        • Juan

          Seems legit to me, especially if the Police said so.

    • jnana

      I think they did claim it was a fetish called “claustrophilia”. still an unlikely story, though

  • Rhoid Rager

    The Anti-Houdini.

  • Hadrian999
  • Haystack

    Maybe there’s another bag like that that contains a bunch of terrorist money, and he was going to pop out of it and surprise the Al Qaeda guys just when they were going to use it to buy some uranium.

    Or maybe he was just trying to save on airfare by checking himself in as someone else’s luggage.

    • Rhoid Rager

      I think I saw William Shatner do that once in a Priceline commercial.

  • trompe l’oiel

    That’s the best one I’ve heard all week. That. is. sick.

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