• Monkey See Monkey Do

    Lol!. Thanks for the laugh.

  • http://skadhiblog.wordpress.com/ skadhithjassisdottir

    Aaw, Satan wants to steal his eyesight.

  • VaudeVillain

    Man, that little girl was really bummed that her dad went to check his email. I wonder if those kids just spend their days staring, forlorn, into space, waiting for him to come home and rescue them from their Mr. Rogers-looking mother.

    Also, and maybe this is just ageism, but didn’t he seem a little… old… to have kids that are that young? I’d believe it more if he were their grandfather.

  • swabby429

    Just like the 1950s, except with the Internet.

  • Ted Heistman

    All porn is Christian, anyway. If there were no Christianity there would be no porn. People have tried to argue that porn is ancient, by showing things like depictions of people having sex on Greek pottery. I don’t see it that way, unless these were pots people only looked at alone in a dark room.

    • oneironauticus

      “All porn is Christian, anyway.”

      +_+

      …the Japanese…?

      Seriously, that was less that 24 hours ago. Do you really have such a short-term memory?

      • Ted Heistman

        apparently the purpose of the pithy aphorism eludes you.

        • oneironauticus

          “In modern usage an aphorism is generally understood to be a concise statement containing a subjective “truth” or observation cleverly and pithily written.”

          Doesn’t count if it doesn’t contain *truth*, Ted. Subjective though this truth may be, as I have already made clear, you are only contradicting your own comments from another article.

          Is it NOW your subjective truth that “all porn is Christian”? What about when you were passing vaguely racist judgement on an entire culture’s moral standards? Which one is the Real Ted?

          • Ted Heistman

            I am afraid I cannot provide you with the cathartic release you are looking for. Sorry.

          • oneironauticus

            That’s adorable, but you’re still wrong, Ted.

          • Jin The Ninja

            i’m glad someone else noticed. and here i thought calypso and i were going completely mad.

          • Ted Heistman

            You maybe you guys can all bend together and ostracize me. I think 5 or six of you equals one me.

          • Jin The Ninja

            it’s you against the world ted.

          • oneironauticus

            “I think 5 or six of you equals one me.”

            That’s one hell of an undeserved ego…or should I say, inferiority complex?

            Now I almost feel sorry for saying anything–you know, like when you avoid eye contact with the loud, abusive, homeless guy on the bus?

          • jnana

            so yer the one whos been avoiding eye contact with me! and I thought I was actually getting somewhere with you. well, at least I know its because i’m loud and not cause I smell.
            (its quite ironic u say that, though, cause I was hanging out w/ this homebum a couple nights ago cause he was gonna find us a good place to camp while we were travelling through. but he got a little drunk and started yelling “PROFITS OVER PEOPLE! and YOUR MONEY IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ME!, which I loved but some girl on the bus got really uptight about)

          • oneironauticus

            It’s very different when you’re a smallish female traveling alone with no defense and the “abusive homeless” is doing a lot more than merely shouting…in this particular case, insisting on calling every black person on the bus a “nigger”.

            No one started a fight because everyone could plainly see he had literally shit himself and no one wanted to mess with that.

            After about three stops, the driver eventually called the cops to meet him…

          • echar

            Whatever man. *hug

          • Calypso_1

            Is that how you tuck yourself in at night?

    • DeepCough

      If you wanna talk modern pornography, you can thank the Victorians for that lovely invention. Everything before that was “erotica.”

      • Ted Heistman

        exactly

  • Haystack

    There’s something creepy about the father deciding to go play with his kids when you know he’s still horny from that billboard.

    • Calypso_1

      Reminds me of what happened with the church ‘photographer’ at the ‘house of worship’ i was repeatedly brought to by force as a child.

  • mcubik

    porn with the negative connotation or as a pejorative
    exists only within the confines of the
    judeo christian islamo guilt cult
    as there is nothing inherently wrong with
    solitary sexual activity
    augmented by visual stimuli
    there are no naughty bit s without religious guilt
    just
    bits

    i am assuming that the video was done for satirical reasons
    had to be
    right

    peace

  • Conspiracy Carrot

    That deserves a protest wank. Be right back.

  • moremisinformation

    Wow. I cannot find the words to express how truly awesome that was – nope, awesome just doesn’t cut it…

  • sonicbphuct

    Hmm. I’d like to point out some things that seem a bit strange to me, but, in fact, may be pointing at strange things I believe.

    There are larger problems here:
    1) who lies about emails to beat one off at 6pm?
    2) *if* you have to beat one off while family is around (or, at least, while children are around) what the fuck is wrong with a locked bathroom?
    3) What haystack said below: dude still has a chubby and he’s rubbing all over his kids. Isn’t that more disturbing to a christian than the wanking?
    4) This marriage must suck – while i’m all for self-pleasuring, why not ask the little woman for a little help. *Especially* since she’s an obedient-to-her-husband christian?
    5) why would it be ok for a pastor to be snooping around people’s houses, catching them going to porn sites?
    6) If his wife did catch him, wouldn’t that be a perfect opener for a little alone-time?
    7) “leave the area”? WTF, you don’t get porn on your phone? Exactly – go to the fucking bathroom and leave the kids alone!

    I’m always amazed at how easy it is for christians to overlook their weirdness/total-fucked-up-world-view. If you’re horny and want to jack off, better you go cuddle your kids.

    • Mark

      I think the billboard only advertised “lingerie”, but it was subliminally placed there by the devil supposedly to encourage the protagonist to partake in pornography. You know… same as hot women, are only there to tempt him to partake in pornography. They’re all part of the devil’s plan too. Particularly if they wear short skirts or have… breasts or legs or hair – hell spawned harpies! .. er… this whole guilt and resisting temptation attitude to one’s natural sex drive thing doesn’t do wonders for one’s attitudes towards women does it? Anti-pornographer feminists take note (probably better you hear this from sex-positive feminists than from me, since my opinion is probably not considered relevant anyway, but they have been telling you this for about twenty years and they are right) guilting men about sex contributes to misogyny, it doesn’t combat it. Because patriarchal religions that hate women have been doing it for centuries, and that’s quite possibly how they got to be that way!

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