Guns for Armes: The Amazing True Story of the World’s First Real Life Superhero

600px-jay_j_armes

Via Grinding:

Every night dozens of people around the world don masks and costumes and venture into the streets to fight crime.

Phoenix Jones and Master Legend are perhaps the most famous, but there are hundreds of costumed would-be crime fighters and their activities range from attempting to apprehend criminals to watching over the homeless while they sleep to make sure their positions aren’t stolen.

These caped crusaders aren’t mutants, aliens or cyborgs — they’re just concerned citizens. They have no superhuman powers. But with advances in technology — such as exoskeletons and bionic limbs — you might think it’s only a matter of time until we see the first grinder superhero.

Actually, we’ve had him for quite some time.

The first real-life superhero may have been J. J. Armes, a private detective who active in El Paso since 1958. His super power? A gun implanted in one of his prosthetic hook that he could fire with his biceps — without using his other hook.

Armes lives in a mansion, surrounded by lions and tigers. He always wears three piece suits, and travels by limo driven by his body guard cum chauffeur. It’s no wonder Ideal Toy Company manufactured a line of action figures based on his likeness, and comic book mogul Stan Lee wants to make a movie based on his life.

 

Editor’s note: Thanks so much to contributor Klintron for solving a mystery that has plagued me since my childhood. I half-remembered an action figure with a set of hands you could change out with various accessories, but over the years I had just about convinced myself that I had imagined it.

, ,

  • Damabupuk

    I feel like all of a sudden “Planetary” is for real. What other superhero history is waiting for Disinfonaut archaeologists?

  • festernaecus

    http://www.texasmonthly.com/story/jay-j-armes-real

    Not sure J.J. Armes is entirely legit

  • InfvoCuernos

    I grew up in the El Paso area and I wasn’t allowed to play with any JJ Armes toys because my parents said he was a crook. I’m not sure what the reason behind that was, but they never passed up an opportunity to talk shit about JJ. One thing they said was that he blew his hands off with railroad blasting caps while trying to make a homemade bomb.

21