Kardashians Release Family Christmas Card Laden With Illuminati Symbolism

illuminatiIs the Kardashians’ official 2013 Christmas card a playful satire of conspiracy theories regarding Illuminati-celebrity connections, or is something more sinister afoot? Infowars is disturbed:

Shot by elite fashion photographer David Lachapelle, the panoramic card is filled with symbolism and references describing everything that the Illuminati entertainment industry is about.

Behind the Jenner sisters are two Illuminati pyramids, complete with the All-Seeing Eye. The card can’t be clearer about who “owns” this entire family. Scattered around the card are dismembered mannequins, a symbol that is often used to represent Mind Control, a practice that is rampant in the Illuminati entertainment industry.

Kylie wears a vulva-shaped headdress making her look like some kind of high priestess. Above them is a cardboard cutout looking like a baby-Jesus, with a glory around its head. Is that North West?

  • Anarchy Pony

    “Infowars is distrurbed” Boy, you ain’t kiddin’.

  • trompe l’oiel

    If the Illuminati is allowing folks like the Kardashians ‘in’ then they have become more of a fictitious joke than I originally thought.

    • The Well Dressed Man

      but brawndo’s got electrolytes

    • Kevin Leonard

      couldn’t just be a diversion tactic, could it? sleight of hand… misdirection…
      “It’s just Jay-Z’s business label, yo.”
      “NO. They be ‘lluminati and shit. Them Kardashian’s, too. Kanye fo sho.”
      “The Illuminati is bullshit, this proves it.”
      “I like turtles.”

      • trompe l’oiel

        The ‘Illuminati’ as we call them probably call themselves something very different. If they are using all this as a diversion with celebrities it’s likely a misdirection, or celebrities want to seem like they’re part of the Earths oldest, most exclusive club and just act (very badly I might add) like they have any clue what’s going on. The occult has become a pop culture fascination, if the Kardashians are in any way representing a secret societies plan to kill us all, then I can’t imagine those same occluded individuals are anything but desperate at this point and just using celebrities as pawns if at all.

        The Kardashians wouldn’t know a sphinx from a sphincter.

        • Kevin Leonard

          I believe nothing I see.
          Nor even my own ideas about the ‘Illuminati’.

          My favorite bit about this story is the synchro-mystic resonance between David LaChappelle and the other David of the Chapel, who also cast a revealing eye upon “the illuminated ones.”

          googletube /watch?v=Hdz5KunxWOE

          • trompe l’oiel

            The Dionysian mentality of Hollywood and the Entertainment industry is undeniable. Though, to give so much credit to shadowy Oz wizards seems a little unrealistic & dis-empowering. Sure, do some stars maybe get told what to do by higher ups and do them for money? Absolutely. Does it somehow fit into a plan of world domination? as anything more than a minor distraction, not really.

            As Hunter S. Thompson said “you’re giving too much power and mystery to the enemy.”

            Some may be spellbound by the casting of money against their greater conscience, some may be easily swayed by the guarantees of a better life and comfort, but to really give credit to a bunch of wealthy old guys who are apparently making every decision down the line just seems improbable.

            If they are going that far, my goodness, they are more desperate for control than I originally considered.

            The entertainment industry reflects the collective, hence why, by and large, it is lacking consciousness beyond shallow pretensions.

          • Kevin Leonard

            is it okay if I lol when you say I’m giving too much power and mystery to the enemy after i sincerely say that i believe nothing, even my own thoughts, about the Illuminati?
            … especially after I have made zero assertions?

          • trompe l’oiel

            I was yoking my friend, yoking.

          • Kevin Leonard

            then my lol was appropriate 😉

            i completely agree that it is absurd to think that the Cards and Jaycee are part of some ruling, elite class running the world. And entirely appropriate to assume they are merely capitalizing on the mystery/enigma/mythology/attention-getting-meme/tomfoolery that is the illuminati.

            but then again…
            who the fuck am i?

    • Eztrenk

      Not really. More people watch and follow the Kardashians than you might realize. Underestimating your enemy because they do something you would not do yourself is the path to defeat.

    • jasonpaulhayes

      Considering it’s the Illuminati, it makes perfect sense to employ Sirens and place them upon a rocky cliff.

      • jasonpaulhayes

        It’s so strange that since I called out Mandela for being a war criminal and orchestrating bombings (which he is and which he did) I get a downvote for telling you the truth.


        • Na_na99

          Everyone is considered a war criminal for fighting a racist system that doesn’t benefit him. Of course those fighting him simply for his skin color should be followed without question.

          • jasonpaulhayes

            I don’t just go around paying respects to who the establishment tells me to, though it’s politically convenient.

            As far as I’m concerned his legacy is also a convenient one when white washed… and while everyone tells me how great things are the resources pour out of the region under the watchful eyes of AFRICOM, the IMF and the World Banks.

    • Sonokar

      The Kardashians (and other celebrities) are to the Illuminati what Renfield was to Dracula. Renfield was not a vampire; he simply served a vampire and in return he got to live in the castle and molest the bodies of the dead victims.

      The Kardashians (and other celebrities) serve the Illuminati and in return they get to live in a mansion and molest our dead bodies.

      • echar

        The Kardashians (and other celebrities) are to the Illuminati what Renfield was to Dracula.

        Totally contrived characters of a narrative with the intention to support the end result of generating capital?

        • Sonokar

          What you are suggesting is circa 1980. Today the agenda is a little more sophisticated than just generating capital. It’s about destroying souls! Bwahahahaha..

          • echar

            Fantasy authors write books in hopes of getting money in return, yes?

  • Calypso_1

    conveyance of ‘inside’ information or co-opted fringe trend tracking to maintain illusion of relevance?
    is there a difference

    • jnana

      more likely meant to maintain illusion of omnipotence, rather than relevance

  • Antediluviancurrent

    I think if anything Kim’s behind is a conspiracy.

  • Devan

    Hahahaha stay golden, Infowars.

    • Kevin Leonard

      “Get smart and nothing can touch you.”

  • Brandon Iskra

    oh how I love reading the comment section of infowars

  • http://generaldepravity.blogspot.com/ dragline

    Paul is dead. Let’s sell some records, people.

  • Ben Hennessy

    David Lachapelle has succeeded in getting conspiracy loons to raise awareness about the Kardashians. That was the sinister goal.

  • Andrew

    Because, you know, the Illuminati spraying their secret symbols all over the place in plain sight… does… something…

  • http://www.tumblr.com/blog/mattsdirtylifeandtimes Matt Thompson

    Infowars is probably “disturbed” by the sun coming up in the morning. “It happens every day! Open your eyes, sheeple!”

  • Juan

    OMG, the entertainment industry is not only vapid, it is also manipulative. Shocking!

  • echar

    I was going to say that infowars has jumped the shark on this, yet I believe it started on that premise. Perhaps infowars has jumped the poorly animated pterodactyl?

    • The Well Dressed Man

      In Kardashian Christmas, shark jumps Infowars.

  • jasonpaulhayes

    Judging by the comments, a lot of you are new to Theatre… blame it on ya ADD Baby !

    • jnana

      wouldn’t be the 1st time ignorance was blamed on ADD

      • jasonpaulhayes

        …I blame boredom, not paying attention is a rational response.

  • DeepCough

    I’m startin’ to think that Infowars is an Illuminati front.

  • Rhoid Rager

    Vulva-shaped headdresses always skew my thinking, too

    • Calypso_1


      • Rhoid Rager

        me? my comment? or the vulva-shaped headdress?

        • Calypso_1

          her in breech emergence.

          • Rhoid Rager

            I almost woke my 6-year-old son up laughing at that.

          • Calypso_1

            i was hoping you would choose the initial definition as a proper set up for the dual entendre was eluding me.

          • Rhoid Rager

            After seeing you working some of the newcomers on here, I think I may have wisened up to your calypso beat. It involves alternating handwork on the djembe.

  • alizardx

    Perhaps “elite fashion photographer David Lachapelle” just read Illuminatus! and got inspired. Has anyone checked the image in detail for subliminal fnords?

  • Jonas Planck

    I think LaChappelle is having a bit of a laugh at their expense. And I wholeheartedly approve of that.

  • connectc

    I am disappointed there is a story of the Kardashians here! You know you live in a warped world when someone is famous for a video of a blowjob and an abnormally fat ass!

    • Kevin Leonard

      I know, right? How fucking stupid is it to post an article that gets people engaged in dialogue? I mean, what kind of a website is this, anyway? If only they would state their opinion of what is right to believe in this world, and would only post stories about topics that I feel are worthy of discussion, I might not have to be disappointed. I better go read Wikipedia instead. Ciao.

      • connectc

        I can watch “We will tell you what to think” media to engage in this type of lowbrow dialog, I expect a higher level of dialog here at disinfo.com. You may be right, maybe I should go read wiki…

  • Kevin Leonard

    you mean low-brow dialogue like questioning a website’s character?

  • http://churchofeuthanasia.org/ Bob Judd

    Oh relax Infowars! The Kardashians are just trying to generate controversy because it’s their biggest seller.

  • Night Bear

    As other other’s have noted, this is obviously a tactic of the Illuminati to discredit other conspiracies dealing with the Illuminati. Classic misdirection!

  • jane

    so ya i was thinking of maybe asking when the walking dead was coming back on? this whole thing with the illuminati crap is a joke. lol… in the end they will have to deal with the all might god in heaven. they best repent and ask god to forgive them. lmao, this is to funny… i hope they like selling their souls to satan……..