Paul Walker Conspiracy: Illuminati or Drug Cartel Responsible?

Paul Walker. Photo: Andre Luis (CC)

Paul Walker. Photo: Andre Luis (CC)

Is there no limit the the dastardliness of the Illuminati? Latest conspiracy theory about their supposed nefarious activities via The Inquistr:

Paul Walker conspiracy theories are attempting to link Family Guy’s Brian the dog, Illuminati, and drug cartels in an awkward way of explaining the death of the Fast & Furious 7 star.

As previously reported by The Inquisitr, the death of Brian the dog led to conspiracy theories stating Seth MacFarlane might try and quit Family Guy.

One story going around has Paul Walker being killed by the Illuminati, a group that supposedly controls the world from the shadows. Why would they do this? Like many celebs, including Tim Tebow, Walker had been working with typhoon relief efforts in the Philippines. Supposedly the Illuminati was trying to poison medicine going to the country with “birth control” that would neuter the population and Walker found out about it. How did they kill him? Theories range from brakes to a sabotaged fuel line all the way up to a missile fired from an unmanned drone.

Another conspiracy theory focuses on Walker’s friend, Roger Rodas, and almost sounds like a plot from a Fast & Furious movie. The idea is that since Rodas spent a lot of time in Central America he could have been approached by drug cartels wanting him to do money laundering through one of Rodas’ charities. So in this case the car crash was rigged in some fashion to target Rodas and Paul Walker got caught in the crossfire.

But none of those ideas were as weird as the conspiracy theories attempting to link Paul Walker and Brian the dog.

[continues at The Inquistr]


Majestic is gadfly emeritus.

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12 Comments on "Paul Walker Conspiracy: Illuminati or Drug Cartel Responsible?"

  1. Both.

  2. emperorreagan | Dec 10, 2013 at 12:19 pm |

    Is there a check box for “morons spending half a million dollars on a poorly designed car then driving it well in excess of the safe speed for the road that it was on”, or is it absolutely the Illuminati/drug cartels?

    • kowalityjesus | Dec 10, 2013 at 7:30 pm |

      Jeremy Clarkson says ‘Porsches are designed around a flaw.’ That is as far as I can go, definitely NOT poorly designed.

      • Jin The Ninja | Dec 10, 2013 at 8:25 pm |

        it’s debatable or semantic really.

        i assume you meant ‘aesthetically.’

        the GT had severe mechanical flaws.
        i would consider that ‘poorly designed’
        fast cars are meant to go- well- fast. if they can’t- then what’s the point?

        • emperorreagan | Dec 10, 2013 at 9:28 pm |

          Porsche has plenty of flaws. They sell over-designed, over-priced, uncomfortable cars that feature difficult and expensive maintenance. But none of those things are really bad design – they just cater to selling expensive status symbols to people with mid life crises.

          I make the distinction to poorly designed in the same spot you do – the severe mechanical flaws, over which Porsche has lost multiple court cases with that particular car. Porsche generally puts out cars that handle poorly. The top gear guys have commented on the 911 having scary control. A car that’s designed to go fast but can’t control is a fundamentally bad design.

          • kowalityjesus | Dec 11, 2013 at 12:56 am |

            The flaw they are engineering around is the fact that the engine is actually behind the rear wheels, a throwback to the original Porsche. It makes a unique driving dynamic; dangerous perhaps, but not common. the Carrera GT, I guess, was actually mid-engine. The guys on top gear talk about how mid-engine cars have superior handling due to the weight distribution, but when they break loose in a turn there is no mercy.

        • kowalityjesus | Dec 11, 2013 at 12:52 am |

          The Carrera GT went hella fast, Porsche apparently designed it to rival the Ferrari Enzo. If I can guess about motivations of German engineers, they probably knew they were unleashing an animal with the power and driving dynamics without stability control, but they let people explore their own avenues of adrenaline with it, citing a Teutonic ‘if you play with fire, you’re gonna get burned.’ Maybe it was poorly designed, maybe it was designed to test individuals’ limits.

          • emperorreagan | Dec 11, 2013 at 8:46 am |

            One of the court cases Porsche lost basically said that the engineers should never have let the vehicle on the road without stability control and they should have noticed the issues during testing.

            Super cars and their professional racing cousins are more often than not designed pushing the limits of what can be built with respect to weight & power in an orgy of engineering number crunching.

            There are plenty of people that go for that, of course. I don’t think it’s really to push the individual’s limits, though that’s a catchy marketing ploy that is frequently utilized. If I were to spend more time formulating an argument this morning, I’d basically argue it has to do with western society treating science like a god and technology like magic.

  3. jasonpaulhayes | Dec 10, 2013 at 4:15 pm |

    Maybe Mark Dice can make an enlightening little youtube video explaining this all to me.

  4. Anarchy Pony | Dec 10, 2013 at 11:11 pm |

    Can’t anybody famous just die anymore? Or are they all being assassinated?

  5. Young Chakotay Butler | Dec 11, 2013 at 5:38 pm |

    zzzzz trollllllll

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