The Secrets Of Death Inside Disney World

disneyland-BEIN

Via The New Inquiry, Willie Osterweil delves into the strange rumors concerning dying inside Disney:

When people die in Disney World, medics arrive in unmarked emergency vehicles, treat and talk to the corpse as though it’s just a passed-out visitor, so as not to alarm other guests and dispel the magic.

By policy no one actually dies on Disney property—they are always still “alive” until they arrive at a hospital, outside the confines of the theme park. This last, at least, according to anonymous employees in the book Inside the Mouse, whose reports are sufficiently tangled up with rumor at this point to make none of these claims “verifiably true”—claims which Disney has, furthermore, frequently quashed with the threat of a libel suit.

What is clear is that people die at Disney World […from] congenital heart conditions, heat stroke, other illnesses. Workers die—drivers, maintenance, performers: head trauma from failed acrobatic stunts or falls from catwalks.

 

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  • Chaos_Dynamics

    Visit Planet Disney.

    But beware the Pax. (G-23 Paxilon Hydrochlorate)

  • Jeremy Kirn

    I don’t doubt it, but run-on sentences make my head hurt. Who writes this way? The second paragraph is mostly just one, long confusing sentence! It’s still an interesting story, and I want to read the book, but really are you hiring writers? I can do much better than this.

  • Cortacespedes

    “Escape From Tomorrow” sounds like “Death In Venice” meets “Lolita” meets “The Simpsons” in Duff Gardens.

    The New World Order is in a Disney mode. The virtual takes over the real as it appears, and then replicates it without any modification, in a pret-a-porter fashion. -Jean Baudrillard

    Eh, fuck “Tomorrow” just try and escape from the perpetual today.

  • Guest

    deleted

  • jasonpaulhayes

    Nobody gets sick in Archie Bunkers house.

  • smendler

    How do you think they make those audioanimatronic figures appear so LIFELIKE?!?

  • YellowDog

    As Harlan Ellison once remarked, “No one fucks with the Mouse.”

  • Jason Vega

    its the inflated prices. a pack of mnm’s is 8 dollars??? google Disney subliminal messages to see how mickey handles his off time. ;0)

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