The Secrets Of Death Inside Disney World


Via The New Inquiry, Willie Osterweil delves into the strange rumors concerning dying inside Disney:

When people die in Disney World, medics arrive in unmarked emergency vehicles, treat and talk to the corpse as though it’s just a passed-out visitor, so as not to alarm other guests and dispel the magic.

By policy no one actually dies on Disney property—they are always still “alive” until they arrive at a hospital, outside the confines of the theme park. This last, at least, according to anonymous employees in the book Inside the Mouse, whose reports are sufficiently tangled up with rumor at this point to make none of these claims “verifiably true”—claims which Disney has, furthermore, frequently quashed with the threat of a libel suit.

What is clear is that people die at Disney World […from] congenital heart conditions, heat stroke, other illnesses. Workers die—drivers, maintenance, performers: head trauma from failed acrobatic stunts or falls from catwalks.


8 Comments on "The Secrets Of Death Inside Disney World"

  1. Chaos_Dynamics | Dec 9, 2013 at 10:27 am |

    Visit Planet Disney.

    But beware the Pax. (G-23 Paxilon Hydrochlorate)

  2. Jeremy Kirn | Dec 9, 2013 at 10:39 am |

    I don’t doubt it, but run-on sentences make my head hurt. Who writes this way? The second paragraph is mostly just one, long confusing sentence! It’s still an interesting story, and I want to read the book, but really are you hiring writers? I can do much better than this.

  3. Cortacespedes | Dec 9, 2013 at 10:53 am |

    “Escape From Tomorrow” sounds like “Death In Venice” meets “Lolita” meets “The Simpsons” in Duff Gardens.

    The New World Order is in a Disney mode. The virtual takes over the real as it appears, and then replicates it without any modification, in a pret-a-porter fashion. -Jean Baudrillard

    Eh, fuck “Tomorrow” just try and escape from the perpetual today.

  4. deleted

  5. jasonpaulhayes | Dec 9, 2013 at 2:55 pm |

    Nobody gets sick in Archie Bunkers house.

  6. How do you think they make those audioanimatronic figures appear so LIFELIKE?!?

  7. YellowDog | Dec 12, 2013 at 4:03 pm |

    As Harlan Ellison once remarked, “No one fucks with the Mouse.”

  8. Jason Vega | Dec 15, 2013 at 3:18 am |

    its the inflated prices. a pack of mnm’s is 8 dollars??? google Disney subliminal messages to see how mickey handles his off time. ;0)

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