Tila Tequila Fuels Conspiracy Theories

Photo: Toglenn (CC)

Photo: Toglenn (CC)

Remember Tila Tequila, the MySpace (what?) starlet? Well anyway she’s still garnering more than her share of attention but she has to make more and more outlandish claims. The Washington Post reports:

…Tequila’s claims are a special kind of explosive, a bizarre cocktail of the biggest fringe conspiracy theories and occult movements of the past several years. In a nutshell, she believes that:

1) She is descended from an alien race who came from the stars;

2) she is an angel, a queen, and possibly the latest iteration of the Egyptian goddess Isis;

3) she can travel through time and space and has, in the process, fallen in love with Nicola Tesla;

4) humanity is controlled by a “New World Order” composed of Illuminati, Satanists, Zionists and lizard-people;

5) this NWO has succeeded in engineering and covering up just about everything you think you know, including World War II, 9/11 and Paul Walker’s death;

6) a judgment day/reckoning/space battle is coming, in which Tila and her kind will fight the NWO to save the human race;

7) all of Tila’s Facebook haters, a.k.a. brainwashed propagandists, will perish in the battle.

This is, as many people have pointed out, utterly crazy. It’s also, as when Tila suggests Hitler was “a man of compassion,” extremely offensive and vile. But the craziest and most offensive part of the whole thing is that Tila is actually speaking for a large coalition of people — an entire ragtag Internet crew of truthers and occultists and NWO-fighters who have spent years carving out online niches much quieter, but no less explosive, than Tila’s.

We’ll leave the speculation on the sanity of those claims, and of Tila herself, to people like the Daily Dot’s Audra Schroeder, who wrote a great post on that subject Tuesday. But let’s talk for a minute about where these ideas actually come from, with the help of some of Tila’s recent posts. (This should hopefully be clear, but in the event it’s not: Tila’s writing is in bold; mine is not.)…

[continues at the Washington Post]

,

  • Matt Staggs

    Annunookie?

    • InfvoCuernos

      She did it all for the vril.

    • echar

      Annunsnooki!

    • jasonpaulhayes

      Not with a 10ft Festivus Pole !

  • Simon Valentine

    i am akhenaten
    i am the nwo
    and you won’t be able to hate me without practicing it i’m afraid
    *drum roll*
    who do you think left the doors of time open?
    oughtn’t we not hand out spoilers for the space battle?!? alright well i’m just kidding on that one. who’s going to be that new world’s Leif Ericson?

    • Jonas Planck

      I’ve seen the future, and it’s a lot more boring than many would like to believe…

      • Simon Valentine

        waiting on research station x to complete …

  • Juan

    Wow. About the only thing she left out was hollow earth Nazis.
    I like to decode these kind of things as “pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.”
    This looks to me, that besides making a few people shit loads of money, propagating this kind of craziness viz various popular conspiracy narratives, serves to turn off many “rational” people to anything outside the reductive, neo-liberal, materialist, dominant narrative. It subverts the possibility of critical thought by overwhelming the very possibility with spectical. In other words, more noise.
    Of course, this is just my take on it. It could be nothing but the usual random opportunism. In my more optimistic moments, I like to hope that these kinds of ridiculous propaganda pieces steering people away from questioning the current sytem are signs that TPTB are getting nervous that their narratives are starting to unravel. I like to picture the archons scurrying about in a panic, trying to keep the masses in line, buying their version of reality.

    • misinformation

      I agree (I think). The current onslaught of msm articles pathologizing ‘conspiracy theories’ combined with focusing on some of the batshit crazy ‘personalities’ who allegedly believe them is just to much of a coincidence to be legit – of course, this makes me a conspiracy theorist, I guess.

    • Anarchy Pony

      Moon Nazis are more interesting anyway.

      • I_abide

        Agreed.

    • jasonpaulhayes

      Hitler kindly sent her as an Angel from Space to Vietnam then Texas and then to Los Angeles to lower the standards for Pop-Singer and therefore take down the Zionists because WWII and 9/11 were lies?

      • Calypso_1

        Space-Time. Don’t forget her Dominion of the Time Lines.

        • jasonpaulhayes

          Yeah, where she raped the memory of Nicola Tesla.

          • Calypso_1

            Somewhere within this there is bizarre and epic ballad just waiting to be coaxed out

          • The Well Dressed Man

            Recordings of Momus’ time traveling ballad “Walter Carlos” seem to have been scrubbed from the internet (there was quite a lawsuit.) Found the lyrics:

            Walter Carlos no longer exists
            He’s in Elysium
            But let us imagine him in our space-time continuum
            Walter Carlos!
            International transsexual composer of that glorious epoch,
            The high analogue synthesizer
            Baroque!

            He is now to be
            Known as Wendy
            Had a gender operation done
            Just after making Switched on Bach, Volume 1

            And when travelling through time is possible,
            Wendy can enter a wormhole and go back to the future to marry Walter
            A few baroque summers earlier
            A couple of models of Moog back in time

            (Sung in a round:
            Fine fine fine
            In the summertime
            Singing tra-la-la-la-la
            And be fine in another time)

            Unfortunately,
            Einstein informs us
            That when time travel is finally possible,
            There will be no returning to periods previous to the point at which time travel first became possible!

            So like Walter Carlos until such time as it’s feasible,
            We’ll have to restrict time travel to the realm of the musical

          • Calypso_1

            ….somehow, I’m thinking we can work this into a verse related to Vietnamese mediums ; )

          • Calypso_1

            Send me an audio file of some accordionista work & let’s do this.

          • The Well Dressed Man

            Finals finally over after tomorrow! There will be music in the air

          • The Well Dressed Man

            Time Traveling Tila (TM) might actually explain some of Nicola’s quirks. Maybe she can only timetravel in the form of a telepathic pigeon. Wait, what if she could also travel to Adolph’s bunker as a german shepherd…..

      • Juan

        Seems legit to me.
        Or how about, Ms Tequila is just the latest iteration of Operation Mindfuck? She is a bit of performance art perpetrated by twisted chaos magicians and discordian nerds working in the “entertainment” industry.
        I wonder how much agency she actually has in all of this.

        • Calypso_1

          Reminds me of when i first started noticing trends in fashion that were adopting elements that had been employed by the artsy/outcast types I had grown up with and thinking I was seeing some really obscure retro trend archeology. Then I realized it was simply a matter of these folks coming to a stage in their careers where they were able to employ design elements they had always worked with on a broader stage.

          • lunasea

            You really should see children’s programming these days…

          • Calypso_1

            Suggestions?

          • lunasea

            Oh, goodness…don’t know what they are, exactly. A friend of mine has a toddler now and just sits her down in front of Netflix all day and…well, I just thought it was odd how many shows seemed to involve cutesy witches, zombies, dead things, etc.

            Not quite as psychedelic as 70’s children’s programming, from what I have seen in the time machine known as Youtube, but not exactly what I grew up with, either…

          • Calypso_1

            Most of the current childrens programming I have seen has led me to consider a significant level of pre-adolecent glue-sniffing amongst the creators or a Pharma conspiracy to promote pediatric ‘mood-regulators’ [sic] antiepileptics.

          • lunasea

            Yeah…that’s about right. It occurred to me the other day how much of the “children’s” programming I grew up with was secretly also intended for adults (or, at least, stoner college kids).

            There seem to be only a handful today which still have the same multi-generational appeal (bronies?)

          • Calypso_1

            With the advent of a mainstream (& fringe) adult cartoon industry there really isn’t the need. It’s kind of a shame. I still have occasional flash backs of Saturday morning Looney Tunes reruns where I just now understand the level of double entendre that was being sown in my mind.

          • Monkey See Monkey Do

            Adventure time always has a high level of double entendre, and it still works great as a kids show.

            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rE9Cwa5EDDw

          • InfvoCuernos

            I spend way too much time contemplating this very thing. I caught a couple of Adventure Time on netflix and the number double entendre in that show-and the implied adult content and how artfully it was concealed was truly inspiring. Those kids watching this stuff today are going to get a hell of a kick out of this show in ten or twenty years…that is, if we can make it another twenty without resorting to eating eachother or our tv’s.

          • lunasea

            Like when my generation grew up and finally realized that Ren & Stimpy had been an abusive gay couple all along and we’d never noticed?

            I wonder when Bert and Ernie are going to come out?

          • InfvoCuernos

            I’m pretty sure Bert has Asperger’s

          • The Well Dressed Man

            It’s weird how there seem to be periodic goth/occult surges in pop culture. Late 70s early 80s was quite a time to be extremely young and impressionable.

          • lunasea

            Yeah, I don’t remember anything at all until the very late 80’s…”Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” and like, Paula Abdul are my last memories before the 90’s officially started…I was very much in the target audience for all of the 90’s Disney brain-melting.

          • The Well Dressed Man

            Supposedly the Bronies are on to something… haven’t looked into it tho.

          • lunasea

            It’s cute. It’s not the My Little Ponies of my childhood (that was the version where the ponies lived in a town, walked bi-pedally and did things like play soccer and bake cookies), but it is really cute…I recommend it.

          • echar

            Invader Zim, Adventure Time, The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy.

          • The Well Dressed Man

            Invader Zim!

          • echar
          • lunasea

            But did you actually read JTHM *before* Invader Zim?

            Because I could lend you my copies…that is, if my friend ever gives them back…(in the meantime, I will be holding her Tank Girl copies hostage…)

          • The Well Dressed Man

            Aw, I have tattered Vasquez books from long long ago Pescadita :)

          • lunasea

            I don’t believe Invader Zim is still in production, is it? I mean, it was on when I was still in high school…

          • echar

            It’s not, but still one of the best.

    • Martha High

      WHERE THERE IS SMOKE , THERE IS FIRE

      • The Well Dressed Man

        I’LL HAVE A PUFF OF THAT, THANK YOU

        • Martha High

          you’re welcome

    • alizardx

      The eternal question when seeing a high-profile conspiracy nutcase… tinfoil or astrofoil? Or both.

  • Anarchy Pony

    LOLWUT?

  • Adam’s Shadow

    I was wrong about Tila Tequila: she is obviously a performance artist of the highest level.

  • Aipeed Teaitchse

    If the goal is to have everyone pay attention to her (and be distracted from important issues) it’s working for her, or at least for her programmer(s). http://youtu.be/iSNsa_HVKks

    • lunasea

      So…they…discovered…Monarch butterflies…because of mind control… :|

      Even being familiar with these theories, it’s clear she’s not very good at explaining them…one would wonder how she maintains her audience’s attention for longer than 30 seconds.

      …but when you remember that the younger crowds are only listening in 20-second chunks, anyway (because of smart phones, etc.) and…well, yeah, we’re doomed.

  • The Well Dressed Man

    Dudes, the blog looks kinda epic. Somebody (ostensibly TT,) put quite a bit into it. Reads like some of the more…. interesting commentary on our beloved forum. One of us? Elaborate prank? Both? http://anonymoustruthblog.com/libertine-totaltiarianism-theology/

    • lunasea

      Not a joke. I’ve been following her cray-cray on and off for the past couple of years (I actually know someone who claims they went to high school with her and that she’s always been a complete loon) but her insanity itself is also a part of (other?) conspiracy theories, such as those promoted by “Vigilant Citizen” (who I have my own conspiracy about: I am almost certain that dude works for an advertising company which is promoting the entertainers he claims are brain-washed Illuminati puppets…)

      Does anyone remember the brief time when Tila Tequila was married to Billy Corgan? That really happened.

      Not one of my favorite internet loons…that honor is reserved for Valeria Lukyanova, a.k.a. “Space Barbie” (Vice recently did some expose on her, but I’ve been following her nuttiness for over 2 years now…which is nothing compared to her Russian-speaking audience which has seen at least 3 attempts at completely re-creating her image since 2004…both of these girls are close to my age.)

      Dear Valeria has a similar belief that she is a Pleiadian (or from Venus) or just “enlightened” depending on what day of the week it is…she’s less paranoid and more occult-y. She also used to be a pretty serious Theistic Satanist.

      In short: the internet has a very terrifying effect on certain types of plasticky-pretty women…

      • The Well Dressed Man

        Yowza. I had no idea space barbie was in the running for weirdest celebrity. From Daily Beast interview:

        “Is your husband a human?

        I prefer not to talk about that, as I do not want to damage his reputation.”

        http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2013/08/05/16-questions-for-the-real-life-barbie-valeria-lukyanova.html

        Somehow I missed Corgan and TT also. I honestly thought she had disappeared with myspace.

        Cheers

        • Jonas Planck

          Well, be fair, humans ARE the cause of 99.9% of the world’s problems. I certainly won’t admit to being one!

          • The Well Dressed Man

            99.9 problems but Planck’s constant aint one

    • lunasea

      Come to think of it, Tila looks slightly deeper than Valeria these days…I’ll have to start following her “reality show” again.

      I have been toying with the idea for some time of creating a parody character / elaborate prank, but I’m not sure I could match the creativity of a true believer, even with as much nuttiness as I have floating around in my head and all of Disinfo at my fingertips…it could be an interesting collaboration project, though…

      I made one video last year, but couldn’t figure out where to go with it after giving a glassy-eyed spiel about 2012 and the DMT elves and ascension…heh, so I deleted it, but before I did, some people actually commented and asked for more info. It’s WAAAY too easy…kind of dangerous and morally ambiguous…

      • The Well Dressed Man

        I can only imagine how crazymaking the internets must be for some people. Folks I know have done notoriously weird fetish performances, and seem to remain fairly grounded despite all the attention.

        • echar

          Tila’s “performance” has appeared to do the opposite.

      • Calypso_1

        a)Dangerous: available skill sets to cover most conceivable scenarios
        b) Morally ambiguous: indemnities clause
        c) Profit Margin: ?

    • lunasea

      It isn’t Tila writing the deeper stuff…a little sleuthing reveals there is a 30-something male posing as a “16 year old girl from Palestine” who writes most of this stuff and believes that he and Tila have a psychic connection…

      Odd.

      • The Well Dressed Man

        Is it the German metal vocalist? This is some high weirdness. The Hitler chic angle is maybe volatile enough to actually boost TT back into view.

        • lunasea

          Unsure about details, but I get do get the distinct impression that Tila’s mental fragility is being taken advantage of…I almost feel sorry for her, but I just heard the microwave finish my popcorn.

  • echar

    All she needs now is to use the Trivium, then the package will be complete.

  • Ted Heistman

    I actually draw women that look like her quite a bit, heart shaped face and big manga eyes. I must be channeling the teh alienz…

    • echar

      • Ted Heistman

        Nice signature. Alien cock

        • echar

          A.C. did not shy away from the phallus. For example White Stains.

  • jasonpaulhayes

    We have a name for these people in my circle of friends, we call them “Occultards”!

    Oh, you’ve read some Crowley and Aiwass is speaking to you now because you’re so fucking special? Well, Special… that path cannot simply be chosen and you will never know that path. If listening were more than waiting for your turn to speak you could learn so very much.

    • echar

      Is the owl cursed then?

      • jasonpaulhayes

        He wouldn’t have it any other way.

        • echar

          Please expound.

          • jasonpaulhayes

            Well, this particular narrative highlights the Owls disobedience toward his vengeful creator god.

          • echar

            Thank you. I had a feeling I was missing something .

          • jasonpaulhayes

            Through no fault of their own, those two Animals (Personalities) share a common bond in having witnessed the willful malformation of their very being by their Grandfather (Creator).

            The Owl faces that reality and is steward of the Old Growth Forest that is the mind, while Rabbit hides away in fantasy and becomes prey.

          • echar

            It’s a good idea to keep an eye on a vengeful being.

          • jasonpaulhayes

            Well said.

          • Calypso_1

            keep a sharp object as well

          • lunasea

            Is “Grandfather” vengeful?

            Yaweh, certainly, but I don’t know enough about pre-Christian Native American mythology to assume a comparison…modern interpretations aside…

          • echar

            I don’t know enough either. I gather from this allegory that suspicion and fear of the mysteries may cause ireversible changes. Much like the Freidrich Nietzsche quote.

            He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you.

            I know this, back in the day I found a book on Native Magick/mysticism. I found it challenging to comprehend and it felt illfitted to me. There was this blanket ceremony, and all the animal spirits. I ended up giving it to a guy who was more native than I.

          • lunasea

            LOL, whitey.

            (double Whitey points for the Nietzche quote) ;P

          • echar

            My pinky toe is native (not literally). Either Blackfoot or Cree. His wife was a Bohemian (from Bohemia) Gypsy. At least you didn’t call me Wasi’chu.

            It is hard to follow one great vision in this world of darkness and of many changing shadows. Among those men get lost.

            ― Black Elk, Black Elk Speaks

          • lunasea

            Yes, my pinky toe is…a tribe not even legitimized by the Federal Government, but whatev’s…

            One time this Vietnamese lady at the corner shop said I looked “very European”; I have NO idea what to make of that, but wouldn’t it have sounded odd for me to respond “yes, and you look very Asian”??

          • echar

            I think so, but Pho and vietnamese coffee make it alright. Probably not, but as you said, whatevs!

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=10IqxId2VSQ

            Speaking of, the Vietnamese have some seriously interesting shamanic ceremonies. The weddings are different. With the slaughtering of the pig.

            I remember asking my my friend, Va Ying (sp) about it. He said the shaman covers his eyes. He invited me to experience a ceremony, sadly I never took him up on it.

          • lunasea

            Tila Nguyen (oh yeah, what was this article about again?) was actually born in Singapore, rather than Vietnam and according to Wikipedia had a fairly interesting childhood.

          • The Well Dressed Man

            HitlerTeslaIlluminatiJewsMyspace…..

          • echar

            I am not a big fan of hers, nor care much about stars. It’s unfortunate she had a rough upbringing. No doubt it tought her tough lessons.

          • The Well Dressed Man

            Shouldn’t somebody be posting an extensive reading list about Vietnamese shamanism right about here?

          • echar

            I know very little myself. My memory recall suggests it includes posession/trance. There can also be powerful female shamans. They walk on sharp blades and such. Akin to Bindoo suspension, or the Native American sun dance (although I don’t think this includes posession). I could be wrong on all accounts, mind you.

  • Tuna Ghost

    You have to admire someone so bizarre they make juggalos seem human

    • The Well Dressed Man

      magnets….

  • BrianApocalypse

    This kind of conspiracy themed self-mythologizing is a psychological outcome of heavy immersion into these ideas. It doesn’t happen to everyone exposed to it, it seems to be just certain personality types. I’ve known people with similar beliefs. For example, a woman who believed herself to be the goddess Sophia, another woman who claimed she was part of Project Blue Beam, and a guy who claimed to be an Annunaki prince who was plotting to overthrow Anu and seize control of the Annunaki empire. Plenty more examples can be found with just about every guest on Project Camelot.

    The one thing they all have in common is New Age beliefs infused with conspiracism. It’s almost like their beliefs become part of some kind of interactive, psychically shared augmented reality game. Kind of like roleplayers who’ve actually started to believe they really are the characters they play (I’ve known a few of them too!).

    • Adam’s Shadow

      Ceremonial/ritual magick, or modern occultism in general (including the chaos current, IMHO) seems to have a very close connection with performance art, and, to a limited extent, even with LARPing. The serious stuff, anyway, or what I would consider the serious stuff, not the fluff like “The Secret” or Sylvia Browne/John Edwards types; that shit is just a very specialized con or the product of some definite “cray-cray.” Like Tila Tequila.

      • James Phillip Schmitt

        I had a very real experience with an entity with a giraffe’s head who called itself “Girafael”. I am not making this up. all my occultist friends thought I was making fun of them.

  • kowalityjesus

    I’ve heard it said “Haters, your inevitable destiny: reincarnate” but ‘lose in the battle of Armageddon’ is a new one…. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rlGFBC8sBX0

  • Tuna Ghost

    Why is it always the Sinapore-born Texas-raised Vietnamese-Americans who rose to fame on a now-obsolete social media platform before a dramatic fall from grace and also slightly resemble Uatu The Watcher* that always go crazy? I swear it’s like every year this happens

    *I’d like to thank Sean Reilly for that joke

  • Ted Heistman

    I have met crazier women then she.

    • The Well Dressed Man

      With blogs?

      • Ted Heistman

        I give her a pass because I like the way she looks. Doesn’t that count for something? Everyone here is being so harsh!

        • The Well Dressed Man

          Get thee to Houston TX or San Jose CA. I swear that packs of wild little lookalikes are roaming the malls and nightclubs looking for older White guys.

          • Calypso_1

            : ) ah the simulacra of aspiration. Every cultural domain has its own flavor. I’ve always wanted to do a documentary that followed the throngs of silicone and guitar cases disembarking from Nashville’s bus station.

          • Ted Heistman

            Thanks Man, I really appreciate the compliment.

            I think she looks like a cartoon pinup. I find it fascinating. She looks like a woman I made up on my sketch pad. Adrian Kowasaki and Tara McPherson, draw some cool kind of pop surreal/Low brow pinups . I have been downloading pics of tila as reference material to make some of my own. No Shit. I have been trying to draw this women in my imagination for years. Who cares what her bizzare views are?

          • The Well Dressed Man

            Ted, I wasn’t trying to call you out on age… I’m pretty ancient myself. There’s seriously a demographic thing happening in some US cities that would assist you in befriending young ladies with these traits.

          • Ted Heistman

            Good to know! I like San Jose, too!

  • Other Mr. T

    A disinfo.com masterpiece. As always, comments are the best part of articles like this. It’s true: Tila is about a decade behind the times. Hey, have you guys heard that the Chinese moon landing is a hoax?

  • JoeSchmoe50

    This is what comes from the heady cocktail of having t!ts you’re willing to flash, doing massive amounts of drugs, plus a gullible internet following can do for a loser.

  • Rus Archer
    • lunasea

      *sigh* I still wish I had published my article before Vice got this out…I was like, 2 years ahead on that shit…

  • Calypso_1

    “Shaved off her head” this only liberates one from mind control if there is a shortage of vats.

  • Evoshandor

    I wonder how Tesla feels about her?

  • James Phillip Schmitt

    I read somewhere that she suffered brain damage from a suicide attempt a few years ago.

  • Adam’s Shadow

    The writer Alan Moore “worships” Glycon, an ancient Roman snake god that he knows is a complete hoax. The fact that something is an abstract fiction does not necessarily preclude it from being a practical reality.

  • Johnny Utah

    And?

  • The Well Dressed Man

    Sometimes I’m unable to shake the suspicion that a “Gargamel” cult (yes, that Gargamel,) is working against me…

    • lunasea

      I had a pretty intense dream once that Snidely Whiplash drowned my family.

      • Juan

        Up vote for the Snidely Whiplash referrence:)

  • echar
  • Jonas Planck

    Well, I’ve always been a bit skeptical, but when the information comes from such a reliable source as Tila Tequila, It certainly gives one pause!

  • ProphetPX

    hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!
    I HAVE PERSONALLY TRIED to talk WITH and DEBATE WITH Tila Tequila on her own “official” facebook pages…

    And that WEIRDO IS FUCKING BATSHIT CRAZY! TOTALLY DELUSIONAL!!!!!
    She needs to STICK to making HOT LESBIAN PORN — because that is the only thing she is good at.

    • lunasea

      I’m sure it was an enlightening experience for both parties.

  • Philly Ciz

    Why are we discussing her in 2013? The fact that the Washington Post even reported this does little to strengthen my faith in today’s media.

  • Hoarfraust

    “Tila is actually speaking for a large coalition of people — an entire
    ragtag Internet crew of truthers and occultists and NWO-fighters”. Says you, and based on what?? Anyone who says there is a single person who is the spokesperson for conspiracy theorists on the internet is living in a fantasy world and making up their facts as they go. Alex Jones was not elected. David Icke did not win a “lead the internet rebellion” contest. Tila speaks for no one but Tila and a few of her fans.

  • Jeff Long

    Why dont you show some proof of her saying these things and I might believe you.

    • Andrew

      Can you show any proof that I should give a shit whether she did or didn’t?

  • http://marymicrogram.blogspot.com/ Hux Leary McShulgin

    Mental illness is a helluva drug.

21
More in Conspiracy Theories
Paul Walker Conspiracy: Illuminati or Drug Cartel Responsible?

Is there no limit the the dastardliness of the Illuminati? Latest conspiracy theory about their supposed nefarious activities via The Inquistr: Paul Walker conspiracy theories are attempting to link Family Guy’s Brian the...

Close