Celebrity Reverend Bob Larson Offering Exorcisms Via Skype

larsonIf demons can be removed over the internet, can they be transmitted and enter the body that way as well? ABC15 in Phoenix reports:

Thanks to the age of technology a Scottsdale reverend says he is getting a chance to help people possessed by demons, all over the world. In the age of electronics, exorcisms are done over Skype.

“In simple terms, an exorcism is the process of expelling an evil spirit from an individual who has become somehow invaded and demonized by that being, and sending it back to hell and freeing the person,” Rev. Bob Larson said.

So what does Larson say to those people who see these dramatic exchanges as nothing more than a disturbing night club act? Larson says he’s done more than 20,000 exorcisms. “It’s real,” he says. “There would be no reason to theatrically stage this for any reason.”

18 Comments on "Celebrity Reverend Bob Larson Offering Exorcisms Via Skype"

  1. Earthstar | Jan 27, 2014 at 3:12 pm |

    If demons can be removed over the internet, can they be transmitted and enter the body that way as well?…
    …yes. Yes they can.

  2. I wonder what his rates are?

    • Calypso_1 | Jan 27, 2014 at 4:16 pm |

      Whatever they are I will charge $50 less for taking demons out; $100 more for putting them in. 10% discount repeat customers. Group rates available.

      • How much will you charge for a corporate account?

        • Calypso_1 | Jan 27, 2014 at 4:36 pm |

          Corporate accounts are subject to individual terms & conditions. Please contact us for your needs & a quote. As always, the devil is in the details.

          • Walmart is interested in selling your merchandise. How soon can we expect to purchase mugs, ashtrays, urinal cakes, etc. donning the likeness of your services?

          • Calypso_1 | Jan 27, 2014 at 4:58 pm |

            All of these products can be used in the commission of our services. However, urinal cakes are used exclusively in casting of venereal demons. These typically involve extra fees. In some cases you can combine both an exorcism and possession in a transfer. One should consider the overlap between sex demons (a very popular selection) and these particular entities. Demons of protection are of course an option.

          • What services do offer for butt demons? I have this friend…

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sCVQwCRwGBg

          • Calypso_1 | Jan 27, 2014 at 5:07 pm |

            That is actually a polyp demon and we can provide a list of approved subcontractors.

          • Also I heard wind of A&E’s interest in making a reality show out of your business service.

      • emperorreagan | Jan 27, 2014 at 4:56 pm |

        What’s your selection in demons like? I’m shopping for something in the “claw your own eyes out and jump off a bridge” variety…is there a bulk discount if I buy 535? Wait, make that 549.

        • Calypso_1 | Jan 27, 2014 at 5:04 pm |

          Is it a dry jump or into water? Do you or others need to retain the eyes for your own purposes or can the demons have these? Are you wanting 535 exorcisms, possessions or a combination of such. In either case is this the work of/or to be of singular or multiple entities and do they need to work on the Sabbath?

  3. VaudeVillain | Jan 27, 2014 at 8:59 pm |

    “It’s real,” he says. “There would be no reason to theatrically stage this for any reason.”

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    GOOD ONE BRO!

    That’s just adorable, thanks for brightening my day with a little bit of levity.

  4. Ghostlore | Jan 27, 2014 at 9:02 pm |

    Allow me to play devil’s advocate (ha ha) for a sec…does anybody else ever wonder if demons are real? Not ‘real’ in the “I can exorcise you over the internet and get the bad out of you” kind of way but real as in some kind of extra-dimensional parasitic attachment?
    We know that on earth, certain parasites can invade certain species minds (physically) and alter it, often at great peril to the host. We know that other dimensions exist (mathematically proven, apparently). Why not some kind of ‘extra-dimensional wildlife’ ?
    I know how crazy that sounds, but I often wonder where exactly is that particular mechanism in a person’s head that suddenly goes ‘sproing’ and makes them pick up the axe, or shoot up a school, or….
    Is it absolutely implausible that some kind of yet-undiscovered parasite is responsible?
    Just throwing this out there as it’s a slow day at work. In any case Calypso I’ll take your discounted rate thanks.

  5. jasonpaulhayes | Jan 27, 2014 at 10:54 pm |

    He looks like Bill Burr and Jack Nicholson’s demon love child.

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