Celebrity Reverend Bob Larson Offering Exorcisms Via Skype

larsonIf demons can be removed over the internet, can they be transmitted and enter the body that way as well? ABC15 in Phoenix reports:

Thanks to the age of technology a Scottsdale reverend says he is getting a chance to help people possessed by demons, all over the world. In the age of electronics, exorcisms are done over Skype.

“In simple terms, an exorcism is the process of expelling an evil spirit from an individual who has become somehow invaded and demonized by that being, and sending it back to hell and freeing the person,” Rev. Bob Larson said.

So what does Larson say to those people who see these dramatic exchanges as nothing more than a disturbing night club act? Larson says he’s done more than 20,000 exorcisms. “It’s real,” he says. “There would be no reason to theatrically stage this for any reason.”

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  • Earthstar

    If demons can be removed over the internet, can they be transmitted and enter the body that way as well?…
    …yes. Yes they can.

  • echar

    I wonder what his rates are?

    • Calypso_1

      Whatever they are I will charge $50 less for taking demons out; $100 more for putting them in. 10% discount repeat customers. Group rates available.

      • echar

        How much will you charge for a corporate account?

        • Calypso_1

          Corporate accounts are subject to individual terms & conditions. Please contact us for your needs & a quote. As always, the devil is in the details.

          • echar

            Walmart is interested in selling your merchandise. How soon can we expect to purchase mugs, ashtrays, urinal cakes, etc. donning the likeness of your services?

          • Calypso_1

            All of these products can be used in the commission of our services. However, urinal cakes are used exclusively in casting of venereal demons. These typically involve extra fees. In some cases you can combine both an exorcism and possession in a transfer. One should consider the overlap between sex demons (a very popular selection) and these particular entities. Demons of protection are of course an option.

          • echar

            What services do offer for butt demons? I have this friend…

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sCVQwCRwGBg

          • Calypso_1

            That is actually a polyp demon and we can provide a list of approved subcontractors.

          • echar

            Also I heard wind of A&E’s interest in making a reality show out of your business service.

      • emperorreagan

        What’s your selection in demons like? I’m shopping for something in the “claw your own eyes out and jump off a bridge” variety…is there a bulk discount if I buy 535? Wait, make that 549.

        • Calypso_1

          Is it a dry jump or into water? Do you or others need to retain the eyes for your own purposes or can the demons have these? Are you wanting 535 exorcisms, possessions or a combination of such. In either case is this the work of/or to be of singular or multiple entities and do they need to work on the Sabbath?

  • VaudeVillain

    “It’s real,” he says. “There would be no reason to theatrically stage this for any reason.”

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    GOOD ONE BRO!

    That’s just adorable, thanks for brightening my day with a little bit of levity.

  • Ghostlore

    Allow me to play devil’s advocate (ha ha) for a sec…does anybody else ever wonder if demons are real? Not ‘real’ in the “I can exorcise you over the internet and get the bad out of you” kind of way but real as in some kind of extra-dimensional parasitic attachment?
    We know that on earth, certain parasites can invade certain species minds (physically) and alter it, often at great peril to the host. We know that other dimensions exist (mathematically proven, apparently). Why not some kind of ‘extra-dimensional wildlife’ ?
    I know how crazy that sounds, but I often wonder where exactly is that particular mechanism in a person’s head that suddenly goes ‘sproing’ and makes them pick up the axe, or shoot up a school, or….
    Is it absolutely implausible that some kind of yet-undiscovered parasite is responsible?
    Just throwing this out there as it’s a slow day at work. In any case Calypso I’ll take your discounted rate thanks.

    • echar

      The cat poop parasite?

      Toxoplasmosis

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toxoplasmosis

      Substance-induced psychosis sure can seem like demonic possession. When sober they can act completely different/docile. Once drunk, watch out.

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Substance-induced_psychosis

      • Ghostlore

        Yeah, or the one that makes the ants cling to a leaf (effectively committing suicide)… something like this.
        Only instead of a physical organism causing overt harm, it is an extra-dimensional entity that somehow (energetically?) uses a human as a host, forcing it to do things against its will.
        Too far fetched? Lol yeah probably.
        Like I said, slow night at work :)

        • echar

          Fallen Angels and the Origins of Evil: Why Church Fathers Suppressed The Book Of Enoch And Its Startling Revelations by Elizabeth Clare Prophet

          http://www.amazon.com/Fallen-Angels-Origins-Evil-Revelations/dp/0922729433

          Elizabeth Clare Prophet

          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elizabeth_Clare_Prophet

          She’s a self proclaimed profit, so yeah. Anyhow the book delves in deep within the Christian sphere. I found it an interesting read for reference.

          In my experience, mentally disturbed people who have drank too much and/or taken too many drugs can appear possessed. Perhaps this appearance is a wish to blame the rage on something other than the person.

  • jasonpaulhayes

    He looks like Bill Burr and Jack Nicholson’s demon love child.

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