Republican Candidate For Senate Posts Video Of Herself Singing In Tongues In A Steam Room “To Confuse Satan”

In the United States, this is who leads us. Via the Christian Post:

Alaskan GOP candidate for the US Senate Kathleen Tonn recently published a video showing her delivering a message in “the Holy Ghost and tongues” to an unsaved woman in a local steam room in an effort to confuse Satan, and some critics are attacking her for it.

In the video published on YouTube Saturday, Tonn is shown singing and witnessing to the woman she identified as Suzie in the steam room at the Alaska Club West. “Suzie doesn’t know Jesus Christ as her savior…so she has allowed me to deliver a message in the Holy Ghost and tongues,” said Tonn in the video.

She then explained why she chose to deliver the message in tongues: “Speaking in tongues or singing in tongues is very valuable because the message cannot be understood by Satan.”

25 Comments on "Republican Candidate For Senate Posts Video Of Herself Singing In Tongues In A Steam Room “To Confuse Satan”"

  1. Liam_McGonagle | Jan 30, 2014 at 10:26 am |

    1. “. . . ironically, she has a pastor for a neighbor . . .”

    Ironic in its complete predictability. Which I guess makes it extra ironic.

    2. “. . . especially valuable because it can be interpreted only by someone with the gift of understanding.”

    I get it. The same way that teaching calculus to 8 year olds is effective because they haven’t had algebra yet.

    Other than that, I just enjoyed the basic premise of an attractive young woman in a sweaty tank top leaning over me.

    • emperorreagan | Jan 30, 2014 at 3:58 pm |

      I don’t know how the lady in the towel resisted videobombing that performance.

  2. Gjallarbru | Jan 30, 2014 at 11:09 am |

    Stop the train, this is where I get off…

    See, I’m all for spiritual beliefs, but if ridicule could kill, that woman would be dead. Any child can sputter sounds in a rythmic fashion and pretend some great magic is at work… it doesn’t make it real. This does sound a clear warning to the ungarded mind. Accept any beliefs without questions or reasonning, and you’ll become a babbling idiot.

    Further, from my quasi-catholic upbringing (rarely went to church), it is my understanding that the devil’s game is confusion. You won’t confuse him with bullcrap like that. In fact, you probably have to be under his control to make no more sense than that.

    Lastly, this is a thing of ego. Only ego could allow someone to believe that their senseless babbling has any power whatsoever. She should be watching her pride, as that “sin” seems to be creeping up on her to the point of being a loon.

  3. BuzzCoastin | Jan 30, 2014 at 11:52 am |

    she’ll fit right in in DC

  4. Simon Valentine | Jan 30, 2014 at 12:05 pm |

    oh i am so glad i’m not the only one who knows this, despite complete non and mis allocation of holy||spirit. no shining bright yellow lights of glow and good, holy. neutral in a way that’s beyond comprehension in the way that an inside joke, irony, or thermodynamics is “Cantor-esk”, spirit.

    “parsing tongues is like programming” … and that’s irony/thermodynamics/fraud/seer/… you know the stuff. can-do-but-isn’t-necessarily-as-said. it’s how fraud rears it’s equal identical self-same authority, obediance and disobedience.

    so wassup flat shirt? oh. oh that’s not flat…

  5. Yes, the Republicans are significantly worse than the rotten Democrats.

  6. trompe l'oiel | Jan 30, 2014 at 12:28 pm |

    seems legit

    I would have started doing a kundalini kriya if this lady tried to save me with her dada style gibberish nonsense.

    nothing makes a ‘good’ christian shiver in disgust like chanting in breathy whispers the sounds

    ‘sah, tah, nah, mah’

    why, I ask, if God is as all powerful as these folks believe, would Satan need to be confused by anything? Hasn’t he, by their definition of schizophrenic idolatry, already been defeated?

    Don’t make no damn sense, though, I would LOVE to see her do this to Obama as a heckler while he tried to address everyone about some lie I don’t care about.

  7. nicholas p. | Jan 30, 2014 at 1:25 pm |

    someone should drug test her, i think i had a similar experience while taking mushrooms with a religious friend of mine. thought i was growing horns and spewing green bile from my mouth. in fact i was laughing so hard at his blabbering that he started to scream. ahh thems the good days.

  8. I really want to explain to her that the tongues bit works more like a universal translator. You speak all understand. You just sound like a moron. Then I would like to further her religious teachings by hitting her with the largest bible I can purchase. Maybe if she’s beaten with it enough she can learn through osmosis?

  9. Ellen Joyce | Jan 30, 2014 at 1:34 pm |

    I bet she follows sinners into the ladies and farts a rhythm of salvation, too.

  10. InfvoCuernos | Jan 30, 2014 at 1:56 pm |

    Bat. Shit.

  11. Rus Archer | Jan 30, 2014 at 3:01 pm |

    when did christians stop reading the bible?

    • emperorreagan | Jan 30, 2014 at 3:44 pm |

      In an essay by Ursula K. Le Guin, she speculated that reading hit its peak sometime in the mid 19th to 20th century and went into decline by the 1960s. She noted, in part, to support that speculation that the standards children have been held to in school have long been in decline.

      I would say that the ability to read and comprehend the Bible went into decline as the standards taught in schools fell. Coincidentally, the notion that the Bible is inerrant really took off in the late 70s/early 80s in conservative circles, reversing the trend where people were regarding things like the great flood or creation story as legends or myths. So that’s where I would personally pinpoint as the moment that Christianity jumped the shark with respect to the Bible – because I don’t think you can read the Bible and see it as inerrant.

      She also notes in the same essay that reading declined as other things replaced it as social currency – you could talk about the latest TV show at work rather than a book.

      So to build off the same theme, the Bible also has lost its social currency as people both lack the reading skills to process it and have replaced it with other things. Sure, people can still quote some shitty verses, usually out of both the textual and historical context. But what really marks Christianity as practiced today is televangelists, Christian themed music and TV, mega-churches, talk radio, etc. Christianity ceased to be tied to the Bible (in spite of the Bible taken as inerrant!) and is tied to a dog and pony show.

      • Rus Archer | Jan 30, 2014 at 4:08 pm |

        i went to church(es) until around 2000
        the kind where people spoke in tongues, etc
        we still read the book
        a lot
        and referenced hebrew and greek

        oh, well
        i don’t equate literacy with intelligence

        and i don’t mind people acting nuts
        but completely ignoring context and making shit up?
        at that point, lose the context that you have clearly rejected
        and do what you like

      • Jin The Ninja | Jan 31, 2014 at 12:30 am |

        totally agree. on a separate but equal tangent, i also feel this prosperity gospel bizness is closer to ‘satanism’ or ‘evil’ than anything the occult forces have on offer.

  12. Rus Archer | Jan 30, 2014 at 3:04 pm |

    what do looks have to do with anything?
    stephen hawking?

  13. PrimateZero | Jan 30, 2014 at 3:36 pm |

    She speaks in tongues to confuse the devil… and anyone else who can fog a mirror.

  14. See now I’m worried that _I_ might be Satan, because that was all gibberish to me, even before she started “speaking in tongues”. O_o

  15. Adam's Shadow | Jan 30, 2014 at 7:32 pm |

    Ah, glossolalia: the poor person’s self-hypnotic trance.

  16. Calypso_1 | Jan 31, 2014 at 1:26 am |

    I divine that she is channeling Alban Berg one of the greatest exemplars of 23 obsession and synchronicity.

  17. VaudeVillain | Jan 31, 2014 at 6:01 pm |

    I think most of the people being “ignorant and rude” see what she’s doing as ridiculous.

    In their defense, this is an adult, educated, woman running for U.S senate who took time out of her day to sing in gibberish in a sauna. That’s pretty ridiculous.

    • Calypso_1 | Jan 31, 2014 at 6:50 pm |

      Do you think most people would feel the same if it were a sweat lodge with gibberish chanting?

      • VaudeVillain | Feb 1, 2014 at 1:23 pm |

        Almost certainly.

        The only place it might not seem ridiculous is if she sang in gibberish in a bar, which is a pretty typical behavior. It might raise some other issues, however.

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