Homeless In Ethiopian Capital Risk Being Eaten Alive By Urban Hyenas

Pic: Defenseimagery.mil (PD)

Pic: Defenseimagery.mil (PD)

They’re fierce predators that can crush an elephant’s leg with their teeth. They’re hyenas. Urban hyenas.

Via BBC:

It is late evening in Addis Ababa. Stephen Brend, a zoologist with the Born Free Foundation, is driving me to the airport to catch a flight back to London.

“Have you got time for a ten-minute detour?” he asks, as we passed the British embassy. “Of course,” I reply.

So he turns off the road and up a dirt track between some rough shacks and a collection of battered old jalopies that passes for a taxi rank in Ethiopia’s capital.

“There! Look there!” Stephen exclaims. In the beams of his headlights I see several pairs of eyes glinting in the darkness like tiny mirrors. As we drive closer I begin to make out the shapes of the animals behind those eyes. They are hideous beasts, as large as the largest dogs, with coarse spotted brown fur, elongated necks and front legs much longer than their back ones so their backs taper away from their powerful shoulders.

“Hyenas,” says Stephen. Some of the fiercest predators on earth. And they are brazenly scavenging around a collection of rubbish skips right next to a football pitch and less than 50 yds from people’s homes.

As we watch, a group of teenagers walks up the track, right past the animals. “They’re mad,” Stephen remarks. Hyenas have jaws as powerful as those of great white sharks, he explains. They can crush an elephant’s leg. They devour every last morsel of their prey – bones included. “I mean – there’s nothing left,” he says.

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48 Comments on "Homeless In Ethiopian Capital Risk Being Eaten Alive By Urban Hyenas"

  1. Hadrian999 | Feb 24, 2014 at 4:47 pm |

    somewhere a city planner is trying to figure out how to import them

  2. Anarchy Pony | Feb 24, 2014 at 4:51 pm |

    It’s like Pandora from Borderlands out there.

  3. BuzzCoastin | Feb 24, 2014 at 5:06 pm |

    PETA should have a talk with the hyenas
    & so should
    PETH: people for the ethical treatment of humans

  4. This would make a great b or z movie. Local man gets screwed over somehow and made homeless. Left to the hyenas, expected to die. Only to reach some affinity with them. Later to return as the hyena spirit, wreaking havoc and bringing justice.


    The Soundtrack could sound something like this

  5. I imagine it’s only a matter of time before local municipalities, here in the land of fat and stupid start releasing hyenas into in high density urban areas to deal with the homeless problem.
    They already make it illegal to feed the homeless. The hyena thing just seems like the natural next step.

    • Cortacespedes | Feb 24, 2014 at 8:17 pm |

      They could do a wolf/coyote hybrid and perhaps get something close to the same effect. You know, keep it local; not introduce an invasive species type thing.

      • Hadrian999 | Feb 24, 2014 at 9:04 pm |

        wouldn’t work, wolves are cute little friendly puppies compared to hyena

        • Cortacespedes | Feb 25, 2014 at 8:52 am |

          Alright, we go with grizzlies then.

          • Anarchy Pony | Feb 25, 2014 at 11:53 am |

            What we need to do is engineer greasles and release them in the sewers and suburbs. That would make life way more exciting.

          • Cortacespedes | Feb 25, 2014 at 12:09 pm |

            Can’t we release them into super-exclusive gated communities and around Mercedes Benz dealerships or inside “Yacht World”?

            That would make life more entertaining.

          • Anarchy Pony | Feb 25, 2014 at 12:31 pm |

            I don’t see why not.

      • VaudeVillain | Feb 25, 2014 at 9:35 am |

        You must not be from the northeast; we already have those all over the place.

        I know at least one person who has been stalked by a pack of them while walking alone late at night.

        • Anarchy Pony | Feb 25, 2014 at 11:56 am |

          The key is to stand your ground and face them down. It’s running that gets you eaten.

          • VaudeVillain | Feb 26, 2014 at 1:58 am |

            Running is a poor idea, but you really don’t want to tangle with those guys either. They don’t fight fair.

            The real worry is that if you fall down or stumble, that’s the moment that they strike, and you never get back up.

        • Hadrian999 | Feb 25, 2014 at 3:35 pm |

          I didn’t mean to imply that they aren’t dangerous but wolves still have a fear of humans and would be unlikely to hunt in urban areas making them unsuitable to clean up the homeless problem

          • VaudeVillain | Feb 26, 2014 at 2:11 am |

            Look into the Eastern Coyote and Eastern Wolf. They are hybrid species that are only a little bit smaller than wolves, hunt in packs, have the opportunistic instincts of coyotes, and are perfectly happy living in areas of moderate human population density.

            The problem with using them to clean up the homeless problem is that the homeless would be too likely to join their packs: canids are well known to form interspecies social groups with other, compatible social predators.

        • Cortacespedes | Feb 25, 2014 at 10:59 pm |

          See there? The plan is working already.

          No, not from the northeast, pure westerner.

          I have heard of the coywolves tho. I read a story a few years back that they may have had a hand in the death of a Canadian folk singer.

  6. I read the title quickly… and i had assumed Urban Hyenas were some kind of metaphor for people eating all the capital.

  7. Can we deport Justin Bieber to Addis Ababa and make sure he goes homeless for at least 24 hours?

    Fox could make it into a reality teevee show or something…

    • No, I finally forgot he existed. See what you did? ACKKKK!

      • maybe I’ll use this in my next magical dohickey to do stuff and junk

        I wonder what the going bitcoin rate is on four more years?

        • You are a bad person….

          Bitcoin took a dump today, suposedly due to magic the gathering exchange kicking the bucket.

          Perhaps dealing in souls is a safer business?

          • i’m not bad, i’m just drawn that way

            souls are accounted for in the current tax code… I was looking to avoid that…

            How’s the CoinYe West thingie doing?

          • It got squashed by kanye.

          • La, la, la la (Yeah)
            Wait ’til I get my money right

          • Is that a Kanye song? I can honestly say I’ve not listened to more than 1 minute of one of his songs.

          • Kanye may be an asshole of epic proportions, but the man makes bangerzzz

            “Can’t Tell Me Nothing”

          • He knows how to pimp out his image, that’s for sure.

          • Perhaps, but he didn’t really go off the rails until this went down…

          • He stole Mike Meyer’s mojo. Sweet bird! Caa Caaa!!!

          • Congrats
            You now understand the fears of all racist white people

          • My dad is a baby boomer. I’ve grown up with it, I have an understanding. Please do not insult my intelligence with such pretense. My quip was a little more abstract, merely pointing out that Mike Meyers career tanked around that time.

            Not because of this event. Because he made awful movies around that time. Yet Kanye still makes awful music (IMO). His image sells and he sure knows how to toot his own horn.

            Nikki Minaj, another mediocre talented person making bank on image and controversy. Her new scam, a lawsuit over wigs. It’ll sell wigs and records. So much for integrity.

            I’ll jam this though


          • That was not meant to be an accusation. I apologize if my riff was too heavy or in (excessively) bad taste.

            As for Kanye, peep the videos for “Flashing Lights” and “Stronger”. Not as glorious as Ludwig Van’s Ninth, I grant you. but…

            Something about Saul Williams… his songs always sound canned to me. Damn shame too, because he has a great voice and a fine mind.

            Since I doubt I’ll win you over on Ye anytime soon, I submit the following jam:

            Shabazz Palaces – Swerve… The reeping of all that is worthwhile (Noir not withstanding)

          • I am familiar with Shabazz Palaces, they are one of the goodies. Although I find it tough to get into Rap, I typically find the themes or philosophical goal of the lyric to be childish, egocentric, too materialistic, or all of the above. Often I like the production though.

            I like it, but too involved for me. This is more my style…



          • Fantastic selections. Thanks.

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