What Americans Have For Breakfast (Bacon, Egg and Gun)

Hey American disinfonauts, do you bring your gun to breakfast? From Marketwatch:

breakfast

“As a European, this is how I imagine Americans have breakfast”

That caption accompanied the Imgur image above, and it set off an entertaining firestorm across the Internet this week.

Patriots gathered on Reddit, not so much to rail against stereotypes or to flip the script on Europeans, but rather to tackle some of the photo’s inaccuracies.

Crewchief535 said “the eggs should be scrambled. Otherwise, spot on.” Dartpoolpointed out that “the coffee looks way too strong; it would be lighter.”

Ohmygodnotagain made what would certainly be a most obvious observation to any red-blooded American: “Barrel should be pointing outwards, but close.”…

[more at Marketwatch]

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  • Thurlow Weed

    Anybody who writes”spot on” can’t be an American. Impossible.

    • Liam_McGonagle

      What’s the basis of your objection? Americans couldn’t come up with that retort or spell it accurately?

      • Thurlow Weed

        It ain’t natural to their vernacular. That’s some Brittisher posting.

  • BuzzCoastin

    I’ve eaten many different interprations
    in many different kunteries
    of the aMerkin breakfast
    usually
    hot dogs sub for sausage
    the coffee is usually as bad as aMerkin coffee
    and it’s always overpriced by local standards
    and there’s beans if it’s the Brit version
    butt
    never has it come with a gun
    except in Cambodia
    where anything is possible

  • mannyfurious

    The home of the “brave,” where even breakfast is too scary for some people to not be packing….

    I’m against most forms of gun control simply because we should’ve learned from the war on drugs that outlawing things does nothing to curb their appeal. But, at the same time, America’s love affair with firearms is sort of creepy.

    Come at me downvoting bros….

    • Andrew

      To be fair, that much bacon can kill. I’d shoot it.

      • misinformation

        Vegetable oil propagandist!

        • Andrew

          Reality has a vegetable oil bias.

          • misinformation

            No wonder reality suffers from brain fog and chronic health issues

  • Liam_McGonagle

    Putin just challenged America for its monopoly on *ssholism, so I guess we’ve all just got to chip in and up the ante. So if you can spice it up a bit and throw around bullsh*t machismo like “if you don’t kill, you don’t eat, ’round here, Mary” it’d help immensely.

    Thanks for your cooperation.

    • Simon Valentine

      Top 10 Reasons To Wiretap One’s Self
      #4: recording the daily bullshit machismo

      • n0b0d1

        Omg…what’s #1?

        • Simon Valentine

          reserved. perhaps some go with “forgetting the tap thus having later access to worthwhile information of awesomeness that i wish i could save but usually can’t”. there’s so many moments that people would share if they could.

  • http://americancannibal.org/ American Cannibal

    Amateurs… They also forgot the sides of sausage, home fries and Oxycontin.

  • Chaos_Dynamics

    The gun is misinterpreted in its application.

    Should one desire, it is a personal instant off switch.

    Every morning wake up, eat, drink, and decide.

    • melitagnm105

      my Aunty Sienna recently got a year old Jaguar only from
      working off a home computer… Recommended Reading B­u­z­z­3­4­.­ℂ­o­m

  • Calypso_1

    & for more formal occassions

  • VaudeVillain

    Toast looks like whole wheat, and not even a little bit deep fried. It should be a doughnut, with frosting. Also it needs more butter.

  • VaudeVillain

    Actually pretty lame until the final moments… then totally worthwhile.

    • http://americancannibal.org/ American Cannibal

      You need that in context, bro?

      • VaudeVillain

        Got the context, it was just a mostly boring video. The end was clever though.

        • http://americancannibal.org/ American Cannibal

          Bro: Are you sure you know the original context? Like, really, really sure? Think it over.

          • VaudeVillain

            Based on the year, if memory serves, the Big Thing in gun talk was the AWB… which applied to most of the guns featured, except I believe the Mossberg.

            So, between that and the “hot girls, sweet guns”, I’m not sure what other context there is to get. I probably also don’t care.

            For me, the most important context is threefold: “videos of hot girls on the internet”, of which this one is pretty mediocre; “videos of cool guns on the internet”, of which this one is pretty mediocre; and “videos of hot girls with sweet guns on the internet”, of which this one is still pretty mediocre.

          • http://americancannibal.org/ American Cannibal

            don’t make me put my foot in your ass, peanuthead.

          • VaudeVillain

            Oh, right… haven’t seen that in ages. It was still recent at the time.

            Whatever.

          • http://americancannibal.org/ American Cannibal

            Bro, whatever.

  • Dingbert

    Americans have time for breakfast?

  • Thurlow Weed

    All I really need is a stack of Stalin targets and Gloria riding shotgun.

  • mannyfurious

    Did you see the tits on that tech 9?!

    • http://americancannibal.org/ American Cannibal

      Mmmhmmm… Those pecs are very Patriotic. Nice guns too. I mean, biceps.

  • echar

    It depends on what you mean by gun…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4kU0XCVey_U

    • http://americancannibal.org/ American Cannibal

      Awe… boot camp memories…

  • echar

    BEWBS!

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