Chad Kroeger And Avril Lavigne Release Weapons-Grade Bad Music Video; Internet Revolts

Nickelback rock-bro Chad Kroeger and his once-upon-a-time pop star wife Avril Lavigne have released a music video so bad that the internet is actively rejecting it like a bad skin graft. According to Buzzfeed, Billboard, and about a million other websites, response to Avril Lavigne’s “Hello Kitty” video has been so terrible that the record company is trying to pull it wherever it pops up online. Needless to say, it’s not going well. Hmm… let’s take a look at Twitter:


Yeah. That’ll do.

Kroeger’s own Workin’ Man Constipation Rock vocal stylings (“Hnnnngh…. Unnnnnnnnnhhhhhggg”) aren’t to be heard in “Hello Kitty”, but he shares songwriting credits with several other Lavigne collaborators (a crime surely to be addressed at a future date at the Rock and Roll Hall of Hague Tribunals). The video itself borrows heavily from Gwen Stefani’s casually racist “Harajuku Girls” period. Actually, borrows is far too mild: It’s like Lavigne took an old Stefani album and wrote her name on it in permanent marker, with little hearts as the dots in the i’s and hoped no one would ever notice. Not that this isn’t a big surprise for Lavigne.

The video is so godawful that had it been released at the beginning of the month it might be suspected to be an April Fools joke. With its asinine, leave-nothing-implied lyrics, and inane “dance” moves (“MEOW!”) it reminds me of the “Jackie Q” song “Ring Round My Rosie” from Get Him To The Greek.

It’s going to be interesting watching Avril’s label try to put this particular horse back in the stable. If the “Hello Kitty” video below doesn’t play, then you may still be able to find it at Lavigne’s site… for now.

17 Comments on "Chad Kroeger And Avril Lavigne Release Weapons-Grade Bad Music Video; Internet Revolts"

  1. Simon Valentine | Apr 24, 2014 at 9:54 am |

    No official statement from “the victim”? If only ye knew who thine victim ’twas!

    Somebodies got a screwdriver stuck up their ass on this one ‘Murka.

    You needed something tweeked.

  2. crap song – but this is “racist” how, again?

    • The Swen Stefani work that Staggs is referencing was largely about Japanese girls as fashion accessories for rich white women. That’s the source that Lavigne is borrowing from in the video above.

      • Matt Staggs | Apr 24, 2014 at 12:38 pm |

        Bingo. Not to reference another scene from “Get Him to the Greek”, but this is the equivalent of “African Child”:

        • love ya, matt – but i’ll have to disagree with you on this one… have a nice weekend…

          • JohnFrancisBittrich | Apr 25, 2014 at 9:30 am |

            Don’t worry. Your disagreement is pretty much the exception that proves the rule. It’s not a discussion about a racist event or piece of culture until at least ONE person in the comments plays the “this isn’t actually racist” card.

  3. Maybe she should have released the Marilyn Manson co-produced tune instead… NOT!

  4. Anarchy Pony | Apr 24, 2014 at 12:12 pm |

    Avril lavigne is still a thing?

  5. Echar Lailoken | Apr 24, 2014 at 2:29 pm |

    Futuristic elevator music.

  6. emperorreagan | Apr 24, 2014 at 3:19 pm |

    Where do I put in my application to build the gallows for the Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Hague tribunals?!?

  7. Echar Lailoken | Apr 24, 2014 at 6:35 pm |

    Smart… Sexy… or cultural appropriation?

  8. The internet is childish–

  9. pelirrojo | Apr 25, 2014 at 2:32 pm |

    She was actually always this embarrassingly bad. She was just more adept at concealing it in the past.

    • Echar Lailoken | Apr 25, 2014 at 3:08 pm |

      She’s gotta dumb her act down even more, now that the monied demographic is younger and more numb.

  10. VaudeVillain | Apr 26, 2014 at 9:20 am |

    This is a brilliant satire of the weeaboo community, it utterly skewers the ridiculous stereotypes they pretend define Japanese culture and shows them for the infantile chuckleheads they truly are.

    Wait… there isn’t any irony in this, is there? Well fuck. Maybe, in all the tumblr rage, a few of those halfwits will realize that this is far closer to how many of them behave than they would have cared to admit. That would be the silver lining to watch for.

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