Doctors Can’t Reattach Rapper Andre ‘Christ Bearer’ Johnson’s Johnson

PIC: PD

PIC: PD

Bad news for Andre “Christ Bearer” Johnson: The Wu-Tang Clan affiliated (or maybe not*) rapper cut his penis off before leaping from the balcony of his second-story North Hollywood home, and doctors are not going to be able to reattach it.

Via New York Daily News:

The Wu-Tang Clan-affiliated rapper who cut off his penis before leaping off the second-floor balcony of his North Hollywood apartment has lost the appendage for good, according to a report.

Andre Johnson — who raps under the name Christ Bearer — was rushed to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center after he apparently flayed himself during the bizarre suicide bid early Wednesday, TMZ reported.

Read the rest at the NY Daily News after you’re done given your own wedding tackle a good inspection.

Official statement from the Wu-Tang Clan:

*”Parental Advisory : Don’t Believe The HYPE. This Mother Fucker Ain’t Got Shit to do with The WUTANG Brand,”

 

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  • http://lmgtfy.com/ jasonpaulhayes

    Isn’t it ironic, don’t ya think?

  • Echar Lailoken

    Too soon?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PYwiwbgMusY

    On a serious note. I really do not like suicide, however I feel for failed attempts that leave the person disfigured.

    • Monkey See Monkey Do

      Now he’s in the No-Wang clan

      • Eric_D_Read

        No-Wang clan got nothin’ ta fuck wit!

    • http://voxmagi-necessarywords.blogspot.com/ VoxMagi

      You sir…you win the internets!

      Srsly…its the first time in years I’ve seen anyone reference this song…much less in a way that was appropriately hysterically funny!

  • Forbidden Fruit

    Sounds like some PCP-induced madness to me. Imagine attempting suicide, failing, and having to live a penisless existence for the rest of your life. I see another suicide attempt in his future.

  • Gjallarbru

    Johnson?

    Maybe he’s saving up for a vagina. Cutting off your penis sounds very vaginal to me.

    • Oginikwe

      Cutting off anything sounds very van Gogh to me. [read: crazy]

      • Gjallarbru

        I was making a Lebowski reference, but I’m fine with yours.

        • Oginikwe

          Oh. Sorry.
          Missed the allusion.

  • nth

    Depends on what type of mollusk one is.

  • Damian Caligula

    Attis

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