Man Sues Stripper ‘Girlfriend’ For Return Of Harry Potter DVDs

“You can step outside your little world/You can talk to a pretty girl/She’s everything you dream about

But don’t fall in love/’Cause if you do you find out/She don’t love you/(She’s one in a million girls)/One in a million girl/
(Why would I lie?)/Now, why would I lie? “

 

Robert Wallace, 32, says he broke up with exotic dancer Nomi Mims on May 3, and then waited a week for her to give him back the things he lent her—$2,000, a laptop, and the aforementioned DVDs—before taking legal action.

Mims says she “really likes him as a friend,” and the items and cash were gifts, not loans.

“I don’t believe in loans because I don’t want to pay anybody back,” she told FOX 26. “I’ve given him gifts too. You know, how do I get my booty and boobs back?”

“No refunds in the strip club,” she added. “I’ve even had people come up in there asking, ‘Oh, can I get a dance,’ and they’ll pay me back next week. We ain’t got no layaway plans either.”

via Guy No Longer In Love With Stripper Sues to Get Harry Potter DVDs Back.

Indeed, Nomi: How do you get your booty and boobs back?

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  • Zain Wolf

    Is it just me or does this story stick out like a turd in a punchbowl here?

    • Matt Staggs

      Ah, well then I’ve got an explanation: I usually run weird but funny news stories, odd short films, edgier music videos, and other things that I (or others) find interesting or amusing but slightly “off” the beaten path for Disinfo, during the hours of midnight and 5 AM EST. I grew up as a quasi insomniac watching shows like “Friday Night Videos”, “Night Flight” and “USA Up All Night”, and between that and Adult Swim (especially before it turned into the Seth McFarland rerun block), an idea formed that it’s kind of fun to have this parade of bizarre content after midnight. With the web being what it is, it’s hard to replicate exactly that experience, but I try to do so in my own small way. Normally this amounts to maybe two or at the most three off-beat stories, and I guess that if people see them during the first part of the day then it’ll at least give them a laugh.

      • InfvoCuernos

        I appreciate it. The Tubes reference made me immediately think of Friday Night Videos.

  • Zain Wolf

    I heard he’s in training to be a cage fighter.

    • Matt Staggs

      Now that you mention, there is a kind of “LaFonda” vibe there.

  • davakins

    Indeed, my lady, how will you get your b b boobs and booty booty back?

  • Echar Lailoken

    I knew a stripper who had large tracts of land, she had a friend a sugar daddy that paid for a really nice house, in a nice neighborhood. I am pretty sure her large tracts of land weren’t the only reason he was coughing up the dough. This dude needs to give up the ghost and realize he got played, and to never ever trust an exotic dancer.

  • http://www.ContraControl.com/ Zenc

    TJ Sotomayor is going to have an effing field day with this story.

  • erte4wt4etrg

    no me

    • Matt Staggs

      I thought of that too!

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