If You Love this Planet, “Coal Rollers” Hate You

Coal Rolling:

Peter Sinclair writes at Climate Denial Crock of the Week:

Napoleon famously said, “Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.”  I normally would like to assume that others who do not share my views are still people who have a legitimate set of values, and may just be misinformed. But harsh experience teaches, we can’t automatically assume that everyone cares about the natural world, the planet we leave to our children, or the creatures with whom we share it.

It’s obligatory for climate denial shills to preface anti-environment rants with “of course we all want clean air and pure water, but…”

Anyone that’s followed the litany of anti-environment initiatives and rhetoric by the current crop of non-conserving “conservatives”, or listened to Rush Limbaugh’s hatred and venom toward the natural world, might understandably be skeptical.

Now there’s this.

Business Insider:

Pickup trucks customized to spew black smoke into the air are quickly becoming the newest weapon in the culture wars.

“Coal Rollers” are diesel trucks modified with chimneys and equipment that can force extra fuel into the engine causing dark black smoke to pour out of the chimney stacks. These modifications are not new, but as Slate’s Dave Weigel pointed out on Thursday, “rolling coal” has begun to take on a political dimension with pickup drivers increasingly viewing their smokestacks as a form of protest against environmentalists and Obama administration emissions regulations.

Last month, Vocativ noted many coal rollers focus their fumes on “nature nuffies,” or people who drive hybrids, and “rice burners,” or Japanese-made cars.

“The feeling around here is that everyone who drives a small car is a liberal,” a roller named Ryan told Vocativ. “I rolled coal on a Prius once just because they were tailing me.”

Weigel spoke to a seller of coal rolling customization equipment who described why some drivers see spewing smoke as a political protest.

“I run into a lot of people that really don’t like Obama at all,” the salesperson said. “If he’s into the environment, if he’s into this or that, we’re not. I hear a lot of that. To get a single stack on my truck—that’s my way of giving them the finger. You want clean air and a tiny carbon footprint? Well, screw you.”

Read more here.

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  • Echar Lailoken

    I am pretty sure they’ll all get cancer or something. The shelf life on this subculture will be short.

    Ya never know though, maybe a scared geometry guru can help open ours eyes to the divinity of the molecules within diesel exhaust.

    • Monkey See Monkey Do

      Scared geometry. Is that where you use geometry to get scared about the end of the world?

      • Echar Lailoken

        How very astute of you.

    • Oginikwe

      Maybe the lack of O2 will cause a futuristic hallucination/vision of a world without clean air or water and cause them to understand exactly what’s at stake here.

      But I doubt it.

      • Echar Lailoken

        Here’s to them getting wise and changing their ways.

    • farbauti

      Turbo-darwinism has never been a more fitting term.

      • Echar Lailoken

        I dig it.

  • Anarchy Pony

    Because political statements are best made through means that elevate your risk of cancer or asthma.

  • Dingbert

    This is only possible with diesel, which emits less carbon than gasoline, gets better mileage, and requires less refining. The soot from other cars just comes out of refinery smokestacks instead of the tailpipe. Of course, tuning a diesel requires modifying your exhaust to be less efficient and usually illegal.

    • farbauti

      It emits less carbon, but the sulphur dioxide is kind of a much bigger deal…

      • Dingbert

        Yeah, although Ultra Low Sulphur Diesel was mandated recently, which is a 97% reduction in sulphur. The old stuff was phased out in 2010 and newer diesels will only run on ULSD.
        The biggest deal is probably that diesel fumes are carcinogenic.

  • Cortacespedes

    They’re ruining their engines by doing these modifications.

    Good way to get these trucks off the road.

  • Gjallarbru

    Having a diesel truck, I find this not malevolent, just childish and
    stupid. The divinity in diesel molecules lies in the power it stores.
    Badly burning diesel is offensive for the waste it makes. All that
    horsepower, gone in smoke.

    Further, any gearhead knows that such idiocy
    will build up some major gunk in the engine. If it happens when your engine strains under load, that’s one thing, doing it for fun is gearhead sacrilege. I don’t get why having a diesel truck makes one think belching smoke is a good thing outside expressing pure stupidity.

    Lastly, for having been exposed to diesel exhaust (which brings about rare tuning), I can say there is nothing good about that smoke. They are causing serious problems to the people they smoke, and probably themselves.

    • Echar Lailoken

      It’s a waste of fuel too.

      • Gjallarbru

        Yes, I did imply as much. Fuel is the horsepower, blowing it in smoke is a waste.

        • Echar Lailoken

          Indeed you did. Short term memory gap. Pardon.

          • Gjallarbru

            Nothing wrong in stating the obvious… :P

    • emperorreagan

      Don’t you get on your 97% of truck owners high horse. I have conclusive scientific evidence that shows the UN is just trying to exterminate humanity and these trucks are saving us all from the next ice age.

      • Gjallarbru

        I better get my truck modified then…

  • Echar Lailoken

    One of these, tailor made to conceal, ought to take care of this matter.

    • Number1Framer

      I second this, but I don’t know – the stacks they have now need a pretty big potato. Also, I saw a few of these done from stopped trucks on bikes and motorcycles. That’s when I light up a cigar (or fire crackers) and throw it in the window of the truck before taking off away from the road (because I’m on a bike and not cock-extension of a truck).

      • InfvoCuernos

        so you protest their polluting the air with a lit cigar? Genius (I have seen a few bikes that were penis extensions too).

        • Number1Framer

          In this case I would be protesting what can only be described as personally assaulting people with noxious fumes. You’re also missing the irony of bicycling while smoking a cigar. There’s plenty of cock-motorcycles in my area. They’re usually Harleys blaring some crusty Metallica shit or ‘Walk’ by Pantera around bar close time. I don’t have an AARP card yet, so no Harley for me.

          • InfvoCuernos

            HA! I totally thought you meant “motorcycle” when you said “bike”.

          • Number1Framer

            I guess I was going for either/both. LOL

          • error403

            I have an AARP card; no Harley, but a ’63 Mopar slant 6 with a bumper sticker that says ‘green is the new beige’. Here’s the catch… convert to run on E85, build compound reflux still, run Mopar on ‘shine, sip the rest. Everyone is happy!

      • Echar Lailoken

        Maybe this will work in those instances? Wait a couple minutes, then cut off the excess.

        • lindajvera

          my Aunty
          Allison recently got a nice 6 month old Jaguar by working from a macbook.this website C­a­s­h­f­i­g­.­C­O­M­

          • emperorreagan

            What’s your aunty’s address? I’ve got some of that foam insulation/sealer that will help seal that pesky exhaust pipe on her Jaguar.

    • Dingbert

      Karma will take care of it.
      Smoke out of your tailpipe is money out of your pocket. And all that soot will gunk up your oil, turbos, etc. until you eventually ruin something expensive. Not to mention the traffic tickets. And the new emissions laws all the people you’ve pissed off will vote for.

      • Echar Lailoken

        These jokers are doing it intentionally though.

  • InfvoCuernos

    I don’t know about the rest of the country, but in California, there is a thing called “gross polluter law” which is where any citizen can call in someone who’s vehicle looks like it is polluting-if enough calls are made about a given vehicle, then it has to get smogged, or re-smogged (at the owner’s expense), if it has recently gotten it. It doesn’t matter if the black smoke coming out is “clean”, its all about how many people see it blowing smoke. I would be willing to bet that someone will quickly un-modify their exhaust once they foot the bill on smog check a couple of times.

    • Adam’s Shadow

      See, I live in central California (lucky me) where you get a higher percentage of these fuckers than in other parts of the state, and I ended up behind one of them for all of a minute before I could pass. I don’t like calling the cops or authorities on people in most circumstances, so I’m hoping instead for mob violence. Or really, any violence. Because making a car less fuel-efficient just to billow out literally nauseating exhaust that chokes out anyone else close to you doesn’t prove the point you think it does; it just proves the point that you’re a selfish asshole. It’s like walking around coughing into people’s faces to prove a point about vaccinations. Or something.

      • Number1Framer

        I never brush my teeth because fluoride is the new holocaust. Or something.

        • InfvoCuernos

          WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!! Its all about the illuminati!

        • Adam’s Shadow

          I also never look at the sky or eat vegetables because chemtrails. Or something.

      • Woobniggurath

        Remember, anarchism starts with you. Be the viol, er I mean justice you want to see.

        • Adam’s Shadow

          Yeh, it’s tempting, but I try to avoid getting all “Falling Down” on a motherfucker nowadays. Besides, then we’d start seeing news stories on World Net Daily about “ecofascists” like myself intimidating God-fearing, law-abiding coal-rollers like that, when all I really want is to not breathe in fucking fumes from their stupid-ass trucks.

  • Juan

    ‘Merika, bitches. Idiocracy is here now.

    • https://twitter.com/anti_euclidean ÿ

      I may be off by a comment or two, but this looks to be the moment you knocked @GoodDoktorBad:disqus out of the @disinfo:disqus Top 18. Seems crazy you weren’t there already.

      I tip my cap to you, good sir.

  • BuzzCoastin

    they may be Neanderthals
    but they act consistent with their belifes
    while many who deplore their coal rolling antics
    burn fossil fuels the same way & in similar amounts

    anything burning fossil fuels is a coal rolling sanctuary
    people using normal amounts of fossil fuels are coal rollers

    • Andrew

      Makes sense.

      • BuzzCoastin

        redo the math on your drive to work

        • Andrew

          I did. I produce less air pollution than they do.

          • BuzzCoastin

            the difference is not mathematically significant

          • Andrew

            Yes it is.

  • http://voxmagi-necessarywords.blogspot.com/ VoxMagi

    Its a sign of the times we live in…that this kind of childishness is ‘political expression’. I may not hugs trees while clad in hemp and dazed on various herbal ‘remedies’…but fuck all, man…at least I like the idea of streams I can fish in, lakes that can be swum in safely, air that can be breathed without fear. It’s why my family (and now I alone) take trash bags along when traveling…to gather the other trash left by who knows who. Or why we plant trees to replace what we took off the back 40. I see the natural world as an inheritance I received and will pass along in turn. And I got that attitude from Republican parents and grandparents. Conservatism used to mean a sense of responsibility and stewardship…now it mostly means egregious waste without personal consequences. Small wonder things have slid backward over the years.

    • Number1Framer

      Sounds like you’re ‘protesting’ against republicans. LOL

      • http://voxmagi-necessarywords.blogspot.com/ VoxMagi

        Against what they’ve become? Sure. It offends me enormously. My family are mostly old school meritocrats, Republican, moderately religious, keen on self sufficiency but firm on a sense of community and picking up a share of a the collective responsibility for that community. It may sound cliched, but we’re Boy Scouts…most of us literally. All those virtues…intellectualism, compassion, dedication to something other than yourself, cooperation, sacrifice to achieve goals…all those are dead in the modern conservative movement. People may mouth a little noise that sounds like them…but for those of us who actually try to ‘live’ them…its easy to see that its just noise and no substance now. The conservatism I was raised on is gone…and what replaced it is a modern, slick, self absorbed “gimme gimme” cult of self indulgence and misdirected anger…combined with a dangerous contempt for education, intellectualism and accountability.

        • Liam_McGonagle

          Yeah, similar observations can be made about the cheesey coffee house liberalism that we’ve degenerated into.

          This country is f*cking doomed.

    • Kyle W. Bradley

      you could always get yourself a CO2 filter, strap it on your car and drive in front of them spraying out oxygen and combust it with hydrogen..your car would just be pissing all over whoever is behind you.

      terribly inefficient though.

  • davakins

    The best retaliation is not giving a fuck.

  • Jonas Planck

    So am I to understand that spraying large quantities of high-intensity capsaicin all over their trucks (with extra attention paid to the door handles and other areas likely to come in contact with exposed skin) is also a legitimate form of political expression? Or does that not count because it’s a product derived from vegetable matter? How about hydrochloric acid then?
    “oh, I’m sorry, I thought you LIKED toxic chemicals!”

    • Number1Framer

      Bologna works good for making an adorable polka-dot paint job.

      • Jonas Planck

        On second thought, no. The better counter-troll by far is to slap a “Hillary 2016″ bumper sticker on it in an innocuous place that they won’t notice for a few days. It will trigger more rage by orders of magnitude.

  • Jonas Planck

    I had almost forgotten about the short-lived fad among inner system Neo-Tories called “rad running” … shortly after the unionists declared a tax hike on radioactive heavy metals to discourage needless irradiation in and around populated planets and colonies. A bunch of the Tories (probably the same tiny-dicked demographic we’re dealing with here) started taking it as a point of pride to install redundant fission reactors in their ships, and they’d vent the depleted radioactive material into space… the resulting cloud of deadly dust was only visible via ships’ sensors, but the particle streams screwed with navigation in heavy traffic areas, and eventually started clumping together in micrometeors that were dense enough to pierce most deflector screens. After one of those tiny dust-bunnies of depleted plutonium pierced the hull of a luxury liner and killed a few hundred people, the practice was outlawed, although that didn’t stop the rich ones… Rich kids never have to obey laws. I didn’t actually make the connection to “coal rolling” until now, because I’d never heard of it, but apparently it was some sort of historical homage, like the Tea Party’s Gadsden flag, or the Galactic Socialist Party’s five-pointed swastika.

    • Echar Lailoken

      Bravo!

  • Liam_McGonagle

    Hey man, they’re just hoomins. They just want to feel heard. That’s why they talk so loudly and so crudely.

    The fact that they may not say anything particularly worth listening to . . . Well, we’re not even close to addressing that subject. It’s a secondary matter.

  • Gordon Klock

    Not sure how to try to untangle such a dense ball of stupid, but I must guiltily admit that I would want to do serious physical harm to any judgmental dingbat that would confuse my concern for the environment, with being “pro Obama”…
    ( why won’t some people at least TRY to think on their own???-they might as well be “pro Obama” themselves..)

  • Number1Framer

    So the people posting videos of themselves purposely blowing black smoke onto pedestrians and sticking their heads into billowing smokestacks aren’t fucking morons but victims of yet another brainwashing us sheeple are too stupid to see. Thanks for clearing that up – I totally get it now.

    • Adam’s Shadow

      It’s liberal propaganda. Soros funded it and Hillary Clinton will soon send you to a FEMA camp for having truck nuts.

      • Number1Framer

        I think Hillary has truck nuts under that pant suit.

        • Tuna Ghost

          The truth of what lies beneath her pantsuit is far more horrifying than that, sir or ma’am

  • Echar Lailoken

    Explain this

    • Jonas Planck

      If I found that thing parked and unguarded and I had some white and black paint on me, it would be almost impossible for me to resist changing that to say “penis replacement.” …I’d probably get a beating, and rightly so, but not doing it would go against all my instincts as a cannibal troll…

    • Oginikwe

      It should say, “Breathing creature repellent.”

      • Echar Lailoken

        I can think of more

        Idiot indicator
        Please arrest me
        Selfish P.O.S.
        Here’s your sign

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