If You Love this Planet, “Coal Rollers” Hate You

Coal Rolling:

Peter Sinclair writes at Climate Denial Crock of the Week:

Napoleon famously said, “Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.”  I normally would like to assume that others who do not share my views are still people who have a legitimate set of values, and may just be misinformed. But harsh experience teaches, we can’t automatically assume that everyone cares about the natural world, the planet we leave to our children, or the creatures with whom we share it.

It’s obligatory for climate denial shills to preface anti-environment rants with “of course we all want clean air and pure water, but…”

Anyone that’s followed the litany of anti-environment initiatives and rhetoric by the current crop of non-conserving “conservatives”, or listened to Rush Limbaugh’s hatred and venom toward the natural world, might understandably be skeptical.

Now there’s this.

Business Insider:

Pickup trucks customized to spew black smoke into the air are quickly becoming the newest weapon in the culture wars.

“Coal Rollers” are diesel trucks modified with chimneys and equipment that can force extra fuel into the engine causing dark black smoke to pour out of the chimney stacks. These modifications are not new, but as Slate’s Dave Weigel pointed out on Thursday, “rolling coal” has begun to take on a political dimension with pickup drivers increasingly viewing their smokestacks as a form of protest against environmentalists and Obama administration emissions regulations.

Last month, Vocativ noted many coal rollers focus their fumes on “nature nuffies,” or people who drive hybrids, and “rice burners,” or Japanese-made cars.

“The feeling around here is that everyone who drives a small car is a liberal,” a roller named Ryan told Vocativ. “I rolled coal on a Prius once just because they were tailing me.”

Weigel spoke to a seller of coal rolling customization equipment who described why some drivers see spewing smoke as a political protest.

“I run into a lot of people that really don’t like Obama at all,” the salesperson said. “If he’s into the environment, if he’s into this or that, we’re not. I hear a lot of that. To get a single stack on my truck—that’s my way of giving them the finger. You want clean air and a tiny carbon footprint? Well, screw you.”

Read more here.

67 Comments on "If You Love this Planet, “Coal Rollers” Hate You"

  1. Echar Lailoken | Jul 8, 2014 at 7:18 pm |

    I am pretty sure they’ll all get cancer or something. The shelf life on this subculture will be short.

    Ya never know though, maybe a scared geometry guru can help open ours eyes to the divinity of the molecules within diesel exhaust.

  2. Anarchy Pony | Jul 8, 2014 at 7:22 pm |

    Because political statements are best made through means that elevate your risk of cancer or asthma.

  3. Dingbert | Jul 8, 2014 at 7:53 pm |

    This is only possible with diesel, which emits less carbon than gasoline, gets better mileage, and requires less refining. The soot from other cars just comes out of refinery smokestacks instead of the tailpipe. Of course, tuning a diesel requires modifying your exhaust to be less efficient and usually illegal.

    • farbauti | Jul 9, 2014 at 9:19 am |

      It emits less carbon, but the sulphur dioxide is kind of a much bigger deal…

      • Dingbert | Jul 9, 2014 at 9:34 am |

        Yeah, although Ultra Low Sulphur Diesel was mandated recently, which is a 97% reduction in sulphur. The old stuff was phased out in 2010 and newer diesels will only run on ULSD.
        The biggest deal is probably that diesel fumes are carcinogenic.

  4. Cortacespedes | Jul 8, 2014 at 7:55 pm |

    They’re ruining their engines by doing these modifications.

    Good way to get these trucks off the road.

  5. Gjallarbru | Jul 8, 2014 at 7:58 pm |

    Having a diesel truck, I find this not malevolent, just childish and
    stupid. The divinity in diesel molecules lies in the power it stores.
    Badly burning diesel is offensive for the waste it makes. All that
    horsepower, gone in smoke.

    Further, any gearhead knows that such idiocy
    will build up some major gunk in the engine. If it happens when your engine strains under load, that’s one thing, doing it for fun is gearhead sacrilege. I don’t get why having a diesel truck makes one think belching smoke is a good thing outside expressing pure stupidity.

    Lastly, for having been exposed to diesel exhaust (which brings about rare tuning), I can say there is nothing good about that smoke. They are causing serious problems to the people they smoke, and probably themselves.

    • Echar Lailoken | Jul 8, 2014 at 8:05 pm |

      It’s a waste of fuel too.

    • emperorreagan | Jul 9, 2014 at 8:46 am |

      Don’t you get on your 97% of truck owners high horse. I have conclusive scientific evidence that shows the UN is just trying to exterminate humanity and these trucks are saving us all from the next ice age.

  6. Echar Lailoken | Jul 8, 2014 at 8:11 pm |

    One of these, tailor made to conceal, ought to take care of this matter.

    • Number1Framer | Jul 8, 2014 at 9:40 pm |

      I second this, but I don’t know – the stacks they have now need a pretty big potato. Also, I saw a few of these done from stopped trucks on bikes and motorcycles. That’s when I light up a cigar (or fire crackers) and throw it in the window of the truck before taking off away from the road (because I’m on a bike and not cock-extension of a truck).

      • InfvoCuernos | Jul 8, 2014 at 9:58 pm |

        so you protest their polluting the air with a lit cigar? Genius (I have seen a few bikes that were penis extensions too).

        • Number1Framer | Jul 8, 2014 at 11:09 pm |

          In this case I would be protesting what can only be described as personally assaulting people with noxious fumes. You’re also missing the irony of bicycling while smoking a cigar. There’s plenty of cock-motorcycles in my area. They’re usually Harleys blaring some crusty Metallica shit or ‘Walk’ by Pantera around bar close time. I don’t have an AARP card yet, so no Harley for me.

          • InfvoCuernos | Jul 8, 2014 at 11:55 pm |

            HA! I totally thought you meant “motorcycle” when you said “bike”.

          • Number1Framer | Jul 9, 2014 at 12:01 am |

            I guess I was going for either/both. LOL

          • I have an AARP card; no Harley, but a ’63 Mopar slant 6 with a bumper sticker that says ‘green is the new beige’. Here’s the catch… convert to run on E85, build compound reflux still, run Mopar on ‘shine, sip the rest. Everyone is happy!

      • Echar Lailoken | Jul 8, 2014 at 11:07 pm |

        Maybe this will work in those instances? Wait a couple minutes, then cut off the excess.

        • lindajvera | Jul 9, 2014 at 4:01 am |

          my Aunty
          Allison recently got a nice 6 month old Jaguar by working from a macbook.this website C­a­s­h­f­i­g­.­C­O­M­

          • emperorreagan | Jul 9, 2014 at 9:15 am |

            What’s your aunty’s address? I’ve got some of that foam insulation/sealer that will help seal that pesky exhaust pipe on her Jaguar.

    • Dingbert | Jul 9, 2014 at 8:51 pm |

      Karma will take care of it.
      Smoke out of your tailpipe is money out of your pocket. And all that soot will gunk up your oil, turbos, etc. until you eventually ruin something expensive. Not to mention the traffic tickets. And the new emissions laws all the people you’ve pissed off will vote for.

  7. InfvoCuernos | Jul 8, 2014 at 10:07 pm |

    I don’t know about the rest of the country, but in California, there is a thing called “gross polluter law” which is where any citizen can call in someone who’s vehicle looks like it is polluting-if enough calls are made about a given vehicle, then it has to get smogged, or re-smogged (at the owner’s expense), if it has recently gotten it. It doesn’t matter if the black smoke coming out is “clean”, its all about how many people see it blowing smoke. I would be willing to bet that someone will quickly un-modify their exhaust once they foot the bill on smog check a couple of times.

    • Adam's Shadow | Jul 9, 2014 at 12:23 am |

      See, I live in central California (lucky me) where you get a higher percentage of these fuckers than in other parts of the state, and I ended up behind one of them for all of a minute before I could pass. I don’t like calling the cops or authorities on people in most circumstances, so I’m hoping instead for mob violence. Or really, any violence. Because making a car less fuel-efficient just to billow out literally nauseating exhaust that chokes out anyone else close to you doesn’t prove the point you think it does; it just proves the point that you’re a selfish asshole. It’s like walking around coughing into people’s faces to prove a point about vaccinations. Or something.

      • Number1Framer | Jul 9, 2014 at 12:40 am |

        I never brush my teeth because fluoride is the new holocaust. Or something.

      • Woobniggurath | Jul 9, 2014 at 2:08 am |

        Remember, anarchism starts with you. Be the viol, er I mean justice you want to see.

        • Adam's Shadow | Jul 9, 2014 at 7:32 pm |

          Yeh, it’s tempting, but I try to avoid getting all “Falling Down” on a motherfucker nowadays. Besides, then we’d start seeing news stories on World Net Daily about “ecofascists” like myself intimidating God-fearing, law-abiding coal-rollers like that, when all I really want is to not breathe in fucking fumes from their stupid-ass trucks.

  8. ‘Merika, bitches. Idiocracy is here now.

    • I may be off by a comment or two, but this looks to be the moment you knocked @GoodDoktorBad:disqus out of the @disinfo:disqus Top 18. Seems crazy you weren’t there already.

      I tip my cap to you, good sir.

  9. BuzzCoastin | Jul 8, 2014 at 11:40 pm |

    they may be Neanderthals
    but they act consistent with their belifes
    while many who deplore their coal rolling antics
    burn fossil fuels the same way & in similar amounts

    anything burning fossil fuels is a coal rolling sanctuary
    people using normal amounts of fossil fuels are coal rollers

  10. Its a sign of the times we live in…that this kind of childishness is ‘political expression’. I may not hugs trees while clad in hemp and dazed on various herbal ‘remedies’…but fuck all, man…at least I like the idea of streams I can fish in, lakes that can be swum in safely, air that can be breathed without fear. It’s why my family (and now I alone) take trash bags along when traveling…to gather the other trash left by who knows who. Or why we plant trees to replace what we took off the back 40. I see the natural world as an inheritance I received and will pass along in turn. And I got that attitude from Republican parents and grandparents. Conservatism used to mean a sense of responsibility and stewardship…now it mostly means egregious waste without personal consequences. Small wonder things have slid backward over the years.

    • Number1Framer | Jul 9, 2014 at 12:37 am |

      Sounds like you’re ‘protesting’ against republicans. LOL

      • Against what they’ve become? Sure. It offends me enormously. My family are mostly old school meritocrats, Republican, moderately religious, keen on self sufficiency but firm on a sense of community and picking up a share of a the collective responsibility for that community. It may sound cliched, but we’re Boy Scouts…most of us literally. All those virtues…intellectualism, compassion, dedication to something other than yourself, cooperation, sacrifice to achieve goals…all those are dead in the modern conservative movement. People may mouth a little noise that sounds like them…but for those of us who actually try to ‘live’ them…its easy to see that its just noise and no substance now. The conservatism I was raised on is gone…and what replaced it is a modern, slick, self absorbed “gimme gimme” cult of self indulgence and misdirected anger…combined with a dangerous contempt for education, intellectualism and accountability.

        • Liam_McGonagle | Jul 9, 2014 at 9:45 am |

          Yeah, similar observations can be made about the cheesey coffee house liberalism that we’ve degenerated into.

          This country is f*cking doomed.

    • Kyle W. Bradley | Jul 11, 2014 at 1:58 pm |

      you could always get yourself a CO2 filter, strap it on your car and drive in front of them spraying out oxygen and combust it with hydrogen..your car would just be pissing all over whoever is behind you.

      terribly inefficient though.

  11. The best retaliation is not giving a fuck.

  12. Jonas Planck | Jul 9, 2014 at 12:28 am |

    So am I to understand that spraying large quantities of high-intensity capsaicin all over their trucks (with extra attention paid to the door handles and other areas likely to come in contact with exposed skin) is also a legitimate form of political expression? Or does that not count because it’s a product derived from vegetable matter? How about hydrochloric acid then?
    “oh, I’m sorry, I thought you LIKED toxic chemicals!”

    • Number1Framer | Jul 9, 2014 at 12:34 am |

      Bologna works good for making an adorable polka-dot paint job.

      • Jonas Planck | Jul 10, 2014 at 1:17 am |

        On second thought, no. The better counter-troll by far is to slap a “Hillary 2016” bumper sticker on it in an innocuous place that they won’t notice for a few days. It will trigger more rage by orders of magnitude.

  13. Jonas Planck | Jul 9, 2014 at 7:30 am |

    I had almost forgotten about the short-lived fad among inner system Neo-Tories called “rad running” … shortly after the unionists declared a tax hike on radioactive heavy metals to discourage needless irradiation in and around populated planets and colonies. A bunch of the Tories (probably the same tiny-dicked demographic we’re dealing with here) started taking it as a point of pride to install redundant fission reactors in their ships, and they’d vent the depleted radioactive material into space… the resulting cloud of deadly dust was only visible via ships’ sensors, but the particle streams screwed with navigation in heavy traffic areas, and eventually started clumping together in micrometeors that were dense enough to pierce most deflector screens. After one of those tiny dust-bunnies of depleted plutonium pierced the hull of a luxury liner and killed a few hundred people, the practice was outlawed, although that didn’t stop the rich ones… Rich kids never have to obey laws. I didn’t actually make the connection to “coal rolling” until now, because I’d never heard of it, but apparently it was some sort of historical homage, like the Tea Party’s Gadsden flag, or the Galactic Socialist Party’s five-pointed swastika.

  14. Liam_McGonagle | Jul 9, 2014 at 10:22 am |

    Hey man, they’re just hoomins. They just want to feel heard. That’s why they talk so loudly and so crudely.

    The fact that they may not say anything particularly worth listening to . . . Well, we’re not even close to addressing that subject. It’s a secondary matter.

  15. Gordon Klock | Jul 9, 2014 at 2:26 pm |

    Not sure how to try to untangle such a dense ball of stupid, but I must guiltily admit that I would want to do serious physical harm to any judgmental dingbat that would confuse my concern for the environment, with being “pro Obama”…
    ( why won’t some people at least TRY to think on their own???-they might as well be “pro Obama” themselves..)

  16. Number1Framer | Jul 9, 2014 at 7:25 pm |

    So the people posting videos of themselves purposely blowing black smoke onto pedestrians and sticking their heads into billowing smokestacks aren’t fucking morons but victims of yet another brainwashing us sheeple are too stupid to see. Thanks for clearing that up – I totally get it now.

    • Adam's Shadow | Jul 9, 2014 at 11:27 pm |

      It’s liberal propaganda. Soros funded it and Hillary Clinton will soon send you to a FEMA camp for having truck nuts.

  17. Echar Lailoken | Jul 9, 2014 at 8:07 pm |

    Explain this

    • Jonas Planck | Jul 10, 2014 at 1:06 am |

      If I found that thing parked and unguarded and I had some white and black paint on me, it would be almost impossible for me to resist changing that to say “penis replacement.” …I’d probably get a beating, and rightly so, but not doing it would go against all my instincts as a cannibal troll…

    • It should say, “Breathing creature repellent.”

      • Echar Lailoken | Jul 11, 2014 at 4:50 pm |

        I can think of more

        Idiot indicator
        Please arrest me
        Selfish P.O.S.
        Here’s your sign

Comments are closed.