Illinois man angered by 3 missing Chips Ahoy! cookies tries to kill roommate.

According to the (Decatur) Herald & Review, an Illinois made became so angry that he tried to kill his roommate over three missing chocolate chip cookies.

Chips Ahoy! chocolate chip cookies by Brokensphere via Wikimedia Commons

Chips Ahoy! chocolate chip cookies by Brokensphere via Wikimedia Commons

via Cleveland.com

Police allege that Hall turned angry Wednesday morning when he learned his 49-year-old roommate ate three Chips Ahoy! cookies for breakfast. The victim said she was in the bathroom getting dressed when he pounded on the door, threatening to kill her.

“If you are going to kill me then go ahead,” the victim said she told Hall, thinking he was joking.

He then grabbed her with both hands, threw her down on the tub, and began to squeeze her throat, police said. The woman’s husband and the landlord ultimately separated the two.

Read the rest

The man remains jailed in lieu of $75,000 bond. There is no update on how many cookies the victim has eaten since the attack.

J Thorn

J. Thorn is a Top 100 Most Popular Author in Horror, Science Fiction, and Fantasy (Amazon Author Rank). In March of 2014 Thorn held the #5 position in Horror with his childhood idols Dean Koontz and Stephen King at #4 and #2 respectively. He is an official, active member of the Horror Writers Association and a member of the Great Lakes Association of Horror Writers. J. is a contributor to disinformation.com and a staff writer for HeavyPlanet.net.

Thorn earned a B.A. in American History from the University of Pittsburgh and a M.A. from Duquesne University. He has spent the last twenty years researching mysticism and the occult in colonial American history.
  • Simon Valentine

    i live less than 40 miles out from the city in question

    hear jungk like this all the time

    first one involving cookies
    recently

  • Gjallarbru

    Who knew that cookies could make you kooky enough to kill? (see what I did there?)

  • InfvoCuernos

    Trust me: all the throttling in the world won’t bring those three cookies back, just let it go. If you want to get even, there’s always the upperdecker.

  • Virtually Yours

    A surveillance image was captured just moments before the attack…

  • Anarchy Pony

    If they were those little buggers with the reese’s peanut butter cup chunks in them, then I don’t blame him.

    I had to try really hard to not go buy a pack of them on my way home from work today…

  • kowalityjesus

    it seems like everything happens insane in places when I move away from them, even temporarily.

    • Gjallarbru

      Which beg the question as to your influence on the matter… 😉

      • kowalityjesus

        I am not averse to irrational explanations of events, but I would really not like to be so megalomaniacal.

        • Gjallarbru

          Well, who knows. I had a friend that could break computers by just sitting in front of them. Maybe you can break whole towns!

          • kowalityjesus

            I needed that so bad. I was in an argument with a guy last night who was of the opinion that there is a scientific/rational explanation for everything in the universe.

            I have the strangest relationship with things. I only have a few numinous anecdotes that don’t manifestly/objectively make me look like a nutball, but I live the nutball life every damn day no matter where I am. Fortunately I can still pull out those stories when it matters.

          • Gjallarbru

            I know what you mean as I live through things that are really weird too. I can’t even count the number of times the “strange” stuck to my hide.

            Your friend might eventually be right, but current science neither has the means, nor the dispositions necessary to explain “everything”. In the mean time, I find those with such certainty also have very “material” experiences. They never felt, never seen, nor have been subjected to any experience that would contradict their views.

            Sufficing to say that I wish to stay away from dogma, including scientific dogma. I have seen enough to know there is more than what science claims there is.

          • Simon Valentine

            you two too eh?

            i keep some artistic meanderings, most of which involve such things, on my tumblr http://artasith-m-nasdsnre.tumblr.com/

  • Echar Lailoken

    If another steals your cookies you may always steal some of theirs at a later date. It may be no more than two above the ammount they took from you, but there
    is no time limit between cookie retribution. Once you have retaken the cookies, the cookie accord is reset, and you may not retake unless they break the accord once again.

    So it is written, so it shall be.

  • Hadrian999

    that’s how we roll in Illinois

  • frafri

    Greetings from Illinois
    now where are my cookies? !!