The Urn Dildo — If only there was something sexy I could do with these cremains

Good vibrations.My, Gramma...what a big...nope. That's so wrong.

You know you’ve thought about it- there just aren’t enough sexy applications for cremains.

Guess what?

Thanks to Mark Sturkenboom, the age old problem has been solved.

We present to you, The 21 Grams Urn Dildo.

The 21 grams memory box.

21 grams worth of sexy time, *coming* right up! (ahem) Image: Mark Sturkenboom.

Mashable writes:

The device, called 21 Grams, is “a memory box that allows a widow to go back to the intimate memories of a lost beloved one,” according to Sturkenboom’s website. It’s just that this “memory box” happens to be inside a dildo.

The glass urn allows you to place your loved one’s ashes inside — 21 grams of ashes, to be precise.

Sturkenboom is serious about how this object should be used. He suggests bringing nostalgic moments into the act, like your lover’s perfume, and their favorite music, which will open ” a window to go back to moments of love and intimacy.”

The case has a scent diffuser and also functions as an amplifier. You can place your iPhone inside and let the music play through the ‘forget me not’ flowers on the sides of the box.

The box has a lock, so no one else can sleep with your dead lover’s ashes.

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Good vibrations.

My, Gramma…what a big…nope. That’s so wrong. Image: Mark Sturkenboom

No word yet on upcoming butt plug or anal bead applications for the widowers and ‘enthusiasts’ out there.

Incognito Chupacabra

World renowned Secret Agent Rock Star Astronaut Gynecologist.
Probably more deserving of the title Polymath than anyone from either the 20th or 21st centuries (or the 25th for that matter). Best known for his work fronting the Brutal Swedish Black Metal From Sweden Black Metal Band, Traumatic Insemination, and their chart destroying metal hit 'Transvaginal Mosh' not to mention the Alt-country crossover smash, 'Hellbound and Down'. Currently in the studio working on their 13th album, a rock opera based on the 1974 Sean Connery blockbuster 'Zardoz' tentatively titled ' Exterminate the Brutals (Penises everywhere)'. Author of the seminal work on Internet Bios and Resume Writing, 'Imaginary Triumphs of the Will'. First person to solve a LeMarchand's Cube in less than a minute. He is currently working on his PHA* in Medieval Metaphysics at Miskatonic University Online.
*Pretty Helly Awesome.

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