Author and Activist Chuck Tingle on The Flavor Regulation Act, and Skin Removal For All Men

Licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0 via Commons.

In today’s political and cultural environment there are very few successful celebrities who are willing to put their reputations on the line for causes they believe in. This isn’t the case for literary superstar, Chuck Tingle.

You are known as one of the countries best authors, but a lot of people don’t know about your work fighting the flavor regulation act. Can you tell us a little about Allow All Flavors and what you are trying to do to fight this?

The flavor regulation act is an unfair law from house name of THE WHITE HOUSE where presidents sit. It says that all flavors are outlawed besides strawberry, chocolate and vanilla and I think that this is very wrong. I don’t like that rocky road is illegal, which is the first thing that buckaroos think of when they think of illegal flavors. but also there are OTHER flavors that you don’t even think of like Chicken, Peach, Spaghetti (all flavors and kinds), ice cream man, apple,  sandwiches, buttons and scarves. this AND more flavors are currently illegal.

SO, I talked to my son and he helped me make a website called Allow All Flavors. Hopefully we can get enough people to tell president Baraka ENOUGH IS ENOUGH HANDS OFF OUR FLAVORS. you can do this by writing a letter to the WHITE HOUSE on Main st. in Billings Montana. If enough people give letters or go there and kick the fence then maybe we can have flavors again for ALL men.

I understand you are to debate Ted Cobbler, who is the head of the Billings Flavor Regulation Act Chapter, at Chanceys Event Center next week. Are there still tickets available?

I do not know about this but I will ask son name of Jon about this. (He is VERY handsome and has nice calves. he has been working on them at the gym a lot lately and they are looking REAL nice.) If Jon says okay I might think about going but main thing to remember about dark wizards like Ted Cobbler is if you talk to them they can cast spells and that is their main WEAPON against buckaroos. I dont know if this is a good idea best thing to do much just be to let sleeper dogs lie and not go. maybe instead stay in and watch my favorite movie name of SPECIAL MIKE: A DANCERS DREAM STORY starring Channing Tatum, its got a good plot and i hope you can all enjoy it. thanks

You asked me to ask you about your fight to support skin removal for all men, can you tell us about this?

This is another VERY important cause for all men who kiss. most people dont know that handsome men get that good looking because they remove their skin after work goofball. they get home and then they just take it off and hang it up so it doesnt get stretched out! You dont wanna guff up your skin you know? (REAL QUESTION FOR ALL MEN) so it got me thinking that I wanted to start removing my skin so I started to do it and it HURT but the longer you go for the less it hurts and eventually you just fall asleep real nice. but every time i kept waking up in the hospital with CUTE DOCTORS trying to put my skin back on, which is nice but also NOT WHAT I WANT. PLEASE UNDERSTAND ME I am trying to remove my skin to be a handsome man! so I started a new thing on my instagram website that my son helped me make where sometimes I talk about SKIN REMOVAL RIGHTS which are very important in this country. its not fair that son name of Jon doesnt let me remove my skin this should be a human right for all who kiss the sky with real imagination.

Your latest book is called Dan Bigfootzerian Parties In My Butthole With His Billionaire Lifestyle, Do you find all of this talk about things that are either in, or around, your butthole has any effect on your career as an activist?

Most of the time that things are around there is dark times like not sad but with the lights off.  Like sometimes when I’m wrestling with my bud Hunter he starts to goof around and its pretty fun. we just joke together nothing weird just like bud stuff like a guys night where you do DARK WRESTLING. hes the number one champion so far I just always end up on the bottom but its okay because were friends maybe SOMEDAY. So yeah sometimes things around there make me write tinglers but mostly its just stuff I see in real life or maybe if I’m out on the deck meditating I can come up with a new tingler to write that makes me feel weird. DAN BIGFOOTZERIAN tingler came to me while I was using the upstairs tub (dont tell my son I hopped in he didnt know) and I was just splashing and thinking and I thought of this CUTE MAN on instagram, kind of a buckaroo type who has a car and a friend you know the type. so anyway thought about how cute it would be to a bath with rich man name of DAN on instagram and how we could be buds, nothing weird.

 

Brian Whitney Wrote Raping the Gods.