Legal Weed Will Not Make You Free Or Stop the Murder of Children (Gonzo & Conjure ’16)

“When you talk about voting, however, keep in mind that it’s no real trick to vote for ‘the best’ of a bad lot. You’ll get a little tired of that after you’ve voted a few times. I’ve tried it. & my feeling now is that the compromise/lesser-of-2-evils game doesn’t seem to be getting us anywhere…I believe the democratic process can work in America – but not as long as the Major Parties keep forcing us to choose between double negatives.” – Hunter S. Thompson


Halloween. 2am.

Orlando, Florida.

The streets are packed with wild eyed drunks, a living sea of people cursing and spitting, screaming and fighting. Leather-clad freaks stumble out of dance clubs and knock $16 drinks out of the hands of fraternity bros arguing what “consent” means. Every alleyway is soaked in piss and vomit, cops on horses knowing such a wild crowd could descend into a riot at any moment. They fantasize about cracking open black skulls as they ignore a woman being groped behind them.

Madness, chaos. A kaleidoscope of super heroes and mutants all possessed by varying strains of demons. Whiskey has made some angry, tequila some violent. Nobody is sure how many guns are in the crowd, and a couple of vikings laugh nervously as a man in a communist bandanna keeps rambling on about how much he’d love to shoot his 9mm in the air “just to see what would happen.”

He’s downed 3 mini-bottles of 99 Bananas, a shot of apple whiskey, 3 shots of rum, and an unknown quantity of Pabst Blue Ribbon tall boys in about 3 hours. Still, he’s a professional. He may be hammered but he isn’t wasted. He’s at least cognizant enough to notice the large amount of homeless people sleeping in doorways.

That’s what really confuses him, really makes him stop and think: the huge amount of people filling the streets in an orgy of drink right alongside a disheveled woman sleeping on a pizza box. These human beings were the “acceptable” victims of capitalism, the “losers” that couldn’t “deal” with the world. Merry party goers were getting high and dousing their shoes with vomit right alongside the people Florida had declared it illegal to feed. The freedom to revel in Dionysian pleasures had not lifted them up from the gutter.

It was almost as if the fight for legal weed didn’t fucking matter.

Oh sure, legal weed may have made such scenes easier, that is as long as people could afford it. With an hour or two of scraping maybe they could temporarily escape to a realm of higher thinking. Maybe even contact space aliens with their mind or have sex and do magic.

But they’d still be sleeping in the street and getting beat up by cops.

Just like none of the drunks puking and fucking all around me that night weren’t actually post-modern psychic Gandalfs just because they were shitfaced.

Social issues are the great gears of Capitalism’s engines, the pressure valve that can move just enough to ensure that the really important issues never get noticed.

Do you honestly believe that the people at the heart of the Imperium, the people building drone bases in Africa and gearing up for a titanic battle for world domination actually care if two dudes get married? If people can legally smoke weed? Less than a week away from the puppet show election  people are running around and barking that “you must vote” as loud as they can. This time around they’ve been using small scale social issues as a way to lure you to the polls. Right here in Florida legal weed is indeed on the ballot, as well as a very tricky solar amendment that would eliminate subsidies for solar owners.

And that’s fine. Vote on them. These things will impact the quality of life for many. Do your thing.

But the minute you stretch the comfort of getting high to picking one of the most corrupt, bloodthirsty presidential candidates we will ever have, that will most CERTAINLY kill massive amounts of people if not throw us into World War 3, you are indeed a fool and the whole reason we got into this mess.

It’s funny, really, as this election winds down to hear just how mindless the two sides have become. Republicans will ignore every disgusting aspect of Trump’s behaviors and beliefs because “we can’t afford Hillary” and wanna-be progressives will ignore large-scale corruption and illegal wars because we “can’t afford Trump.” They sometimes cite that Republicans will “drastically expand the military industrial complex and cut taxes for the wealthy.”

I like to remind them it was a Democrat who bailed out Wall-Street at taxpayer expense, that invaded Libya, and literally funds ISIS. Then of course there was that business where we were backing Nazis in Ukraine.

If this election has been anything it’s been remarkably clear just how badly everything doesn’t work. How much all of this IS a sham. You would literally have to admit to “half assedly following politics” to not know this.

Did you miss the part where almost every primary Hillary won had massive amounts of voter fraud?

How about the emails that show the Democrat primary was fixed from the beginning?

Hey, better yet, did you miss the part where Hillary literally picked her electoral foe 2 months before he announced his candidacy?

And before you open you pestilence-filled mouth and tell me this isn’t possible may I remind you Hillary actually advocated fixing the Palestinian elections to further American goals?

What part of any of this signals to you that we’re soon to have a free and fair election? Oooh, ole Bonsey has heard the arguments: “If Republicans don’t care about sexual assault, I don’t care about emails;” “You’re privileged if you don’t vote for Hillary;” or my personal favorite “This is all Putin’s doing.”

Let me assure you that every time someone makes these arguments you should take a mental note because these are the same kind of people that can rationalize throwing you in a goddamn prison camp.

The American public is so sick and diseased that they can literally have the rancid filth that they call “democracy” put right in their face and they still won’t believe it. I’ve actually seen COMMUNISTS hating on Wikileaks because they’re “anti-Hillary.” Let me repeat that: rather than comment on how horrible the actions of this wallstreet-funded warlord are they will scream at the messenger for daring to expose them.

Yeah. Sure kid. Whatever you have to tell yourself to sleep at night you worthless piece of flaming garbage. We know you didn’t actually read the emails. The gutless worms over at Huffington Post gave you a funny article that mentioned Hillary ordered a hotdog with no bun and you were sure that was it.

That’s where this country is intellectually. People that claim to be fighting for the poor are backing the candidate hedge-funds have doted on from the beginning.

I struggle to wrap my mind around what kind of people would see all of this and still try to get you to believe in a system that has been proven in university studies not to work. How so many stupid people could speak so loudly and have such a reach.

And that’s the really scary part isn’t it? Because not everyone is indeed as stupid as we believe.

Your average Republican is a simple beast and as such an easy enemy. He hates what he hates, believes what he believes, and often wears his political theories on t-shirts or flags. He’s like a predator with no camouflage. He knows I’m his enemy, that I want to destroy everything he believes in. It’s a natural, zesty, Nietzschean battle for who will live and who will die.

But your Democrats, your liberals, are by far a much more loathsome creature.

They pretend and they honestly believe what they pretend. So they can call themselves pro-women when voting in a pro-choice judge while simultaneously supporting the country that created ISIS, one of the most brutal forces ever to subjugate the women unfortunate enough to live under them. The United States has, from the beginning, been gifting weapons to and directly funding ISIS in the hopes they will topple Assad. The CIA knew Saudi Arabia was aiding ISIS and helped it along. Even our “democratic” ally Turkey has been caught not only arming and aiding ISIS but bombing Kurdish targets instead of ISIS held territory with NATO approval. You know the Kurds? The people that actually allow woman to vote?

No word yet if legal weed will put an end to ISIS but our top Disinfo journalists are getting as high as they possibly can in an attempt to signal our comrades on Venus for aid.

These same people like to call themselves anti-war, and even bellow that keeping Republicans out of the white house will ensure an era of peace while forgetting the widespread slaughter of Yugoslavia, the invasion of Libya, and the human butchershop we call Syria. Whoops! Almost left the Ukraine out of there! Say, what are those “rebels” in the Ukraine up to nowadays? Surely a Democrat held White House selected only the finest of humanity-majors and art students to lead the battle against Russia!

“In practice, Korchynsky wants the war in eastern Ukraine to be a religious war. In his view, you have to take advantage of the situation: Many people in Ukraine are dissatisfied with the new government, its broken institutions and endemic corruption. This can only be solved, he believes, by creating a national elite composed of people determined to wage a sort of Ukrainian jihad against the Russians.

‘We need to create something like a Christian Taliban,’ he told me. ‘The Ukrainian state has no chance in a war with Russia, but the Christian Taliban can succeed, just as the Taliban are driving the Americans out of Afghanistan.'”

The truth, as I’ve said before, is much more horrifying than simple stupidity. For large amounts of people as long as they can get high and be comfortable the United States government can do just about whatever the hell it wants. They can even steal elections right in front of them and rather than confront the idea that they might actually have to do something about the living fossils running the show(or maybe even reading some statistical data on the topic) they’ll actually defend that corruption. They’ll tell you like they do every year that change is just too risky, which means it’s actually too risky for them.

These people who scream at you to vote, who willingly deny all facts and data we have on the issue and instead launch into rambling, practically incoherent tirades about the importance of it all are actually quite afraid.

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Dr. Bones

Dr. Bones is a conjurer, card-reader and egoist-communist who believes “true individuality can only flourish when the means of existence are shared by all." A Florida native and Hoodoo practitioner, he summons pure vitriol, straight narrative, and sorcerous wisdom into a potent blend of poltergasmic politics and gonzo journalism. He lives with his loving wife, a herd of cats, and a house full of spirits.

His writing can be found at Gods & RadicalsDisinfo, and Greed Media. He can be reached at The Conjure House and through Facebook.

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