Longtime Conspiracy Theorist After Pizzagate: “Fuck this shit, I’m Out!”

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Fun facts about me: I HATE conspiracy theories. Which ones? Well, pretty much all of them. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love UFO stuff, but I’m honestly more interested in the psychological/spiritual aspect of the phenomenon than the nuts and bolts side of it all (not that I don’t find that intriguing). The truth is, tons of people have weird otherworldly encounters with what appear to them as entities beyond human comprehension. That’s not a theory, it’s a fact. Whether you want to believe it’s just an oddly specific form of psychosis or not is up to you, but you can’t deny that people have these experiences. It’s an inarguable part of the human condition and less rare than I think a lot of folks would love to believe. Which is why even with the UFO side of the conspiracy spectrum I get irritated. Ummm, no. I don’t think disclosure is coming soon, and I don’t think you know what the fuck you’re talking about…at all. Mainly because you CAN’T know what you’re talking about. It’s beyond your comprehension. There’s a big difference between a physical being from another planet and spiritual one from the other side of death. Huuuuge difference actually.

And look, it’s not like I haven’t dabbled in conspiracy theory reading from time to time (a lot of what happened with WTC 7 does in fact seem sketchy to me) but I just don’t understand the point really. We’re constantly being manipulated by the advertising, media, and PR industries. Constantly. There is currently a conspiracy of people with vast resources trying to get you to eat at Taco Bell. Everything we know about anything is typically just some shit we read or heard somewhere. It’s not “real” in the way we love to think it is. There is so much blatant mind control right out in the open that I’m not sure what the purpose is in speculating about weird (creepily racist) fringe shit that most people will never even entertain anyway. Fuck, what is the drug war but a mind control conspiracy? What about the modern pharmaceutical industry? See what I mean? It’s right out in the goddamn open and most conspiracy people don’t seem to give much of a shit. Instead they obsess about the secret satanic Illuminati. Hey, which Illuminati conspiracy theories are Christian propaganda? The answer to that question is: all of them.

Anywho, I typically avoid this stuff like the plague, but last December I found myself most unfortunately (and unintentionally) investigating this pizzagate nonsense at work on the same day Marina Abramovic was giving a sold out lecture in Seattle where I live. Odd synchronicity, but later in the day I realized this was also all happening on Occult day, which I didn’t even know existed. This lead me to write a piece about how dumb and obviously politically motivated the whole thing was…a week before a dude walked into Comet Ping Pong and shot up the place. See what I mean about following synchronicity?

The reaction to that piece was one of THE most soul crushing things I’ve ever encountered. Good god people desperately want to believe our government is secretly being run by satanic pedophiles (it’s being run by Christians). And the thing is, I’m not saying that some “elites” aren’t involved with pedophile rings per se, it’s just that if they are, it means they’re just like every other subset of the population. Pedophilia is so much more widespread and common than anyone wants to acknowledge, which is why Craigslist shut down their sex ads like a decade ago. I have a cousin who runs a charity that rescues young women from sex slavery. Zero elites involved with any of that. I got summoned to jury duty not long after my pizzagate piece. The case I almost got assigned to involved (you guessed it) the sex trafficking of young women from 3rd world countries. Zero Hollywood elites involved.

I’ll never forget having a conversation about this stuff on my FB page (like it) that was particularly unsettling. These pro-pizzagaters were openly acknowledging that Comet Ping Pong had nothing to do with anything, but they were totally fine with that. It’s like, soooo, innocent people were publicly accused of being satanic pedophiles, a calculated campaign of harassment was waged against them, their businesses, their art, and their families…and you see nothing wrong with any of that? Please just go die. Here’s my take: The same reich wing propagandists who saw easy marks in the Evangelical community they could manipulate into supporting heinous shit like the Iraq war, then looked at conspiracy culture and were like: score! And, here we’re at.

Wow, that was a really long lead in for a post that was actually about another article, written by Michael H. Hughes. Unlike me, he was heavily involved in conspiracy forums and what not until just recently when it all so obviously jumped the shark:

“For nearly three decades I have spent time among conspiracy theorists, both online and off. In the world before the Internet, I used to pick up print magazines like Paranoia and Steamshovel Press and regularly scoured bookstores to get the latest works on the Kennedy assassination, UFO coverups, and alphabet agency malfeasance. When I got my first 14.4K modem I became a regular on Usenet’s alt.conspiracy and similarly focused groups on Compuserve and AOL. As the internet matured and the web decimated newsgroups, I migrated to forums like the excellent Rigorous Intuition message board, run by author Jeff Wells, where a number of very smart people shared information about 9/11 inconsistencies, human trafficking rings, and government experiments with mind control. There was a lot of nonsense, of course, but that comes with the territory.

Writing under my nom de plume, Professor Pan, I obsessively covered the unfolding Hosanna Church criminal case in Ponchatoula, Louisiana—what seemed like a bona fide, clearcut example of Satanic ritual abuse at a church preschool, complete with written confessions of the perpetrators and abundant physical evidence (including videotapes and a storage shed full of masks and costumes like something straight out of Stanley Kubrick’s Eyes Wide Shut). I also wrote about nefarious goings-on at Abu Ghraib prison (Sex, Drugs, Mind Control, and Torture) and an exposé of notorious Nazi apologist Jeff Rense (Jeff Rense is a Nazi Scumbag).

But then discrepancies started making the Hosanna Church case seem less like a homerun and more like yet another example of religious nuttery and overzealous prosecution run amuck.

And then planes flew into towers in New York City and the Pentagon and the conspiracy world fell into a yawning abyss and has never been able to climb out.

Let me be clear about something before proceeding: conspiracies absolutely exist. JFK was not the victim of a lone assassin’s magic bullet; a House committee came to the conclusion that he, MLK, and RFK were likely the victims of larger conspiracies. UFO activity has been covered up by US military and intelligence agencies for decades (as shown in abundant declassified documents), MKULTRA and other deep-black programs subjected unwitting soldiers and citizens to horrific mental and physical torture, and two Gulf wars led by separate Bushes were ginned up with manufactured atrocities and foisted upon the public by PR agencies and a complicit news media.

So yeah, conspiracies are real—and if you don’t believe that, you’re not paying attention.

But something has changed with the emergence of social media and the associated rise of the mediated reality tunnels it creates, exacerbated by the adoption of conspiracy narratives by mainstream, one-party media (i.e., Fox News) and an explosion of “alternative” news websites peddling what some call “fake news,” but what I prefer to simply call “bullshit.”

And that bullshit is what finally broke me.”

Read the rest over at his Medium page and if you like what he does, support him in any way you can.

It’s a highly recommended read and honestly sort of sad. Friendships have been lost over this idiocy in his case (whereas all I lost was my respect for the Secret Sun blog). And while it was unsurprising to learn that basic magickians like Gordon White and whoever the dork is who runs the Higherside Chats went all in with this dumb shit, learning that Alex Taskiris from the Skeptico podcast also bought in was beyond disappointing. Psi people, this is why we can’t have nice things. You got played by the exact same creeps who are currently working to massively cut taxes for billionaires in a time of unparalleled wealth inequality. Great job!

Disclaimer: headline is satirical and not an actual quote.

Thad McKraken

Thad McKraken

CEO at DMI
Thad McKraken is a psychedelic writer, musician, visual artist, filmmaker, Occultist, and pug enthusiast based out of Seattle. He is the author of the books The Galactic Dialogue: Occult Initiations and Transmissions From Outside of Time, both of which can be picked up on Amazon super cheap.
Thad McKraken