After doing some visualization exercises I meditate and then slip into a charged sleep state. All of a sudden I become conscious, but in a very peculiar way. I’m in a dark space and it’s almost like I’m living water. It’s as if my entire being has suddenly become this black cavernous lake that I am now inhabiting. I am the secret depths of the ocean. The sensation is incredibly strange, yet so familiar and immediate that I instantly understand that I’m dreaming.
But what am I doing here? What is the purpose of this particular mind bending excursion? Years back I read a book about astral projection called Otherwhere by Kurt Leland that introduced the idea of actively confronting the environments and characters in your lucid dreams. The last time I did this I had a conversation with a doorknob that morphed into the head of DeAndre Jordan and explained to me that “I’d graduated” from whatever invisible school I’d been attending in my unconscious states. He encouraged me in regards to one of my current projects and then essentially informed me that everything was on the right track with me for the most part, but not to get cocky or anything. Just your average conversation about your mystical progression with a phantasmagoric door knob impersonating the form of a rim protecting Los Angeles Clipper. Typical shit in my world.
Here I somehow intuit what I’m supposed to be doing. I know my surroundings are alive and can communicate with me if I try, although I’m not entirely sure how I know this exactly. And so I reach out my arms and hands on both sides of me, palms facing upward to the stars (even though I’m not entirely in human form) and I concentrate. As I do this, out of nowhere these crackling whirlpool portals of light start to descend from the top of this microversal void environment I’ve become. They appear as downward cascading water vortices of light. The left one is descending at a slightly quicker rate than its counterpart. When it finally touches my outstretched hand, I can sense its alien nature. It’s from the higher timeless realms and even though I can perceive it in this state, it is having difficulty appearing to me in a form I can comprehend. It looks like swirling light water but I understand its sentience internally. In a disembodied voice, it sort of tells me this thing that’s going to potentially happen in my future. It’s a bit of a shitty thing, but what it’s telling me is that I shouldn’t stress about it much, because it’s ultimately not going to be a very big deal. Just ride the space waves to the shore. Very quick and succinct message, despite sounding like 100 years of incomprehensible concepts somehow translated into disembodied spectral English.
As it begins receding to the ceiling the right hand portal is next. This message feels more angelick and feminine. There’s a good cop/bad cop vibe to the whole exchange. Father and Mother. This is the good cop. It’s funny because there’s almost like a: “prophecy, oh yeah, prophecy!” That’s what I was supposed to be doing down here.” vibe to the exchange initially and with that out of the way it conveys a message that essentially amounts to: “we’ve seen the end result of this one thing you’re working on in the future (the same thing DeAndre told me to focus on). It’s amazing. Keep working on that.” Of course I’ve written more specifics about what these prophecies actually were for my records and time stamped them for posterity. I think saying some of these futures out loud has the potential to alter the narrative, which in certain circumstances you want to do, and in others you don’t. A sorcerer will always have his secrets until the time comes at which they can be revealed.
After a long walk I’m feeling sort of drained and like I’m maybe getting sick so I decide to ganj-i-tate in the middle of the day, which I essentially never do at this point in my life. Fairly quickly I get into this state where I’m editing very specific aspects of a particular song I’m working on. It’s like a multi screen interface where I’m zeroing in on intricate details of the sound, which all have an exotic visual component. I’m tweaking these keyboard tones and just playing around with the entire structure of the composition on the fly. Telepathically mind mixing alternate configurations of the same sonic concepts in a multitude of parallel variations at once. I open one window, make a tweak, downsize it, then open another just to be greeted by another gorgeous living visual representation of solid sound.
After a bit, it’s like this part of me recedes to the background to the left, and then on the right another mind screen opens and I start composing various x-rated scenarios involving my wife. It’s all oneiric and otherworldy. Acrobatic cut up variations on an erotic theme which are simultaneously ridiculous, slick, and arousing. I get the vibe she’s configuring an alternate persona and I’m seeing this persona refracted through my own perverted imagination (we’d been talking about this potential alter ego of hers the night before).
From there the art house sex window recedes into the background of my conscious experience and I realize that these are both now unconscious processes for the most part. I’d set the explorative psychic algorithms in motion, and now they were working as my servitors while I relaxed. At this point I laugh at how hilarious this all is in a way. There are 2 sides to my personality, the side that nerds out on trippy music, and the side obsessed with sex. Seems about right.
I’m meditating and doing my prototypical thing where I imagine myself as this super hero style sorcerer commanding these dark forces that swirl around me and congealing them to do my bidding. As I’m in the midst of this, a powerful voice enters my headspace declaring:
“YOU ARE NOT WIELDING THE POWER. THE POWER IS WIELDING YOU!
I suppose I’ve know this all along, but it is like, wow, yeah, I have in fact been visualizing it in the opposite manner. The next night I have continual coherent visions of my 2 guardian entities calculatedly controlling my actions in tandem on a chess board. One is above and to the right, the other is closer to my level and on the left. Oh, how little we know about the hidden forces pulling the strings behind the scenes in the head trip multidimensional psychodrama that we call planet Earth.
If you like this kind of writing and the direction of the site in general, the best way you can contribute at this point is by buying one of my books. Everything in them is exactly as weird as what you just read.
Latest posts by Thad McKraken (see all)
- What are the Real Dangers of PC Culture? Errrrrrrrr, uhhhhh…… - Jun 21, 2018
- Having Less Sex on Drugs is Bumming Teens the Fuck Out - Jun 20, 2018
- Dissociative Identity Disorder is Way Weirder than Anyone Wants to Admit - Jun 19, 2018